Primal

"To love God is to love His voice." Mark Batterson - Primal

I started reading Mark Batterson's new book "Primal" last week. Its Christmas and life has been busy, challenging and wonderful all at the same time. Honestly, regardless of Christmas, that statement applies. I am in a season where God is very close but hearing His voice has been difficult.

One of my hero's, Bill Johnson, was on a conference call with about a hundred of us the other day. He was talking about hearing and discerning Gods voice. The voice of God has been my one pursuit this year. However else God has revealed Himself to me, via the Bible, nature, my beautiful Karen, my kids or friends, I am most interested in His personal and intimate voice - the one of a kind voice He has for me, the voice only my heart can hear.

So I asked Bill during the conference call - via instant message - how to hear God in a season where He is close but His voice seems distant. Bills response was simple. "Go back to the things you did when you first heard his voice." Essentially what Bill was saying is, go back to the wonder of your earlier times with God, the places you first fell in love and start there.

Primal is a book that encourages both the brand new believer and the battle scared saint to always remember their first love - the voice of God. Marks passion is that we would awe at the wonder of God; that we would see not just with the natural eye but from heavens perspective. And mostly, Mark seeks to release a deeper revelation regarding Gods beautiful voice - how to hear it, how to know it, how to fall in love with it again.

I would most definitely recommended the book!

Merry Christmas all and may you hear Gods good and intimate one of a kind voice for you in this coming year!

New Song - Northern Lights

Well, I am playing again! I have had some of these songs brewing for years now. This one is already celebrating three. I've had no outlet and no grace... "But the times, they are a changing." It seems good to me now to sing again. Soooo, yet another song dusted off.



I went to see the Northern Lights
So bright, reflected of your eyes
As your glory cloud descends,
Hey friends, its time that we got going

Come on in out of the cold, come home
Lets go find this Kingdom come, well done, well done

Let me find my joy complete
Let me see, oh love be my sweet witness

Come on in out of the cold, come home
Lets go find this Kingdom come, well done, well done

When the sun sets on my shoulder
When the northern lights shine bold
When my troubles, there all over, well done

Come on in out of the cold, come home
Lets go find this Kingdom come, well done, well done

Lightning On The Lake

This summer I did some jet skiing. We bought the skis a few years back and they have been nothing but fun. Its exhilarating, that first trip of the day, flying over the water. I always find my soul praising God. On this particular summer day, it was the brothers Clark. Just us four boys being … well, boys. Though the weather started off perfect, soon after launching the skis a storm threatened.

I have a memory from when I was five of playing out in a thunderstorm with my cousin Mark. It was one of those freak thunderstorms - one minute it’s a beautiful sunny day, the next, the clouds have turned ugly and the sky opens. It poured. I have a clear image to this day of lightning flashing at the end of the driveway and the thunder crashing down on our heads. I also remember laughing and singing raucously with Mark, “Its raining its pouring the old man is snoring” as we marched fully clothed in circles around the circumference of my little blue plastic pool.

It’s a great memory and it’s only slightly dampened by the arrival of my mothers shrill and anxious screaming. “Jason, Mark! Come inside! Now!” She seemed possessed as she gestured hysterically at us from the porch to hurry. It certainly didn’t match my euphoric feelings but by the time Mark and I stood in the kitchen, wrapped in towels and dripping water on the linoleum, I had, if not a clear understanding, at least a better grasp of what happens to little boys who get struck by lightning.

Now some children after hearing about blackened toenails and smoking heads would never go out in a thunderstorm again but it was too late for me. You see, for a moment I experienced the wonder of standing out in a downpour and it was glorious. So, the other day while out jet skiing with my brothers, I couldn’t help but stay out in the storm.

It came while we were on the open water. We idled alone on the lake watching the black wall of clouds approach. The sky went from bright afternoon to dusk in minutes. Sheets of rain hit the far end of the lake, it was moving toward us quickly. It was violent and beautiful. Then lightning began to strike the water and we started counting - just like when we were kids. "One one thousand, two one thousand." The thunder boomed. "Two miles away" Joel said, a grin on his face.

Another flash, "One one thousand" BOOM! It was coming fast. My mothers voice faintly tugged at my mind. "Maybe we should head to shore?" I said. "Yeah" Ben sighed, he was in the water but had started climbing on to the back of Joel's ski. CRACK BOOM! "That one was close" I yelled over a sudden gust of wind. I think we could all hear moms voice now. We raced for shore.

We docked the skis just as the first fat drops fell. Then, being fascinated by the storm and intoxicated with its wildness, we swam under the raised dock and waited it out in the water. That is, Joel, Ben and myself swam beneath the dock. Josiah, the fourth brother, apparently heard moms voice at full volume with clear inflection and decided to to towel off. He waited it out like a civilized person - dry and under a roof.

The lightning and thunder did not disappoint. The rain fell so heavy you couldn’t see 10 yards. I was a boy again, making jokes, laughing and though I didn’t sing, it was close. We told stories about people getting struck by lightning - each one of us trying to better the previous tale. Then Joel gave a statistic that 9 out of 10 people struck by lightning survived. I was just about to make a joke, you know, about how there was only three of us in the water and how that seemed like good odds when -

Someone kicked me! A spear to my kidneys!

At the same moment, both Ben and Joel also appeared to have been kicked. Both of them looked at me with pained confusion. All at once it dawned on us. Then, as we realized what had happened, we started laughing, hysterically. Joel screamed, “Get out of the water!” - moms voice couldn't have been louder if she'd been standing next to us

“Joel, is my head smoking?”

You know, I have never, in my entire life, wondered what happens when lightning strikes water and you are in it… and now, I will never have to.

Later, Josiah, who had watched the whole thing from the dry safety of the covered dock, said that the lightning had struck only 30 feet from us…

The moral here? Well, lets just thank God I don’t have ten brothers…
And, I should probably listen to moms voice now and again; she knows a thing or two.

Love you mom...

John Mark McMillan - Skeleton Bones

I had a chance to go to a filming of a John Mark video for the song "How He Loves" a few weeks back. Don't know when that one will be released but I look forward to seeing it. This guy is one of my favorite artists right now. He is gifted, anointed and madly in love with God - check out this song.

Maddys New Book!

My oldest daughter is the most beautiful person I know, she almost outshines her mom. She is my favorite... I have four favorites in total.

There is nothing more amazing than listening to her tell me about her day, or her idea on how she wants to re-arrange her bedroom, or what she wants to buy her mom for Christmas and how we can get it on sale if we go this weekend...

I am so proud of her - she is my delight!
Here is a book she wrote for a project with her Uncle Shelly. Its a good read.

Identity

I recently heard Don Miller speak about how this God journey we are on is kinda like a story. I love reading Dons books and hearing him speak, he not only makes me giggle, he also has some wonderful things to say - about life, about God. I too think this journey we are on is like a story. I think all of us want to live a good story, one filled with love, wonder and promise; a story that is inspired, a story that one-day our kids will read to their kids.

I am convinced of two things; first, the best stories end happily ever after. And second, before they end “happily ever after” they are filled with conflict and risk and sometimes even death...

Jesus lived the best story. His was full of wonder and mercy and love and friendship. It was also a story with conflict and risk, even unto death. And if there was a crisis in his story, it was a crisis of identity. Not with Jesus, he never doubted who he was, but those around him. If you think about it, the question of His identity followed him everywhere he went.

I would like to suggest that the question of identity is not only the theme of Jesus’ story but it’s ours as well. The good news is, Jesus was sure in his identity and because of this, we can also become sure in ours…

Jesus was actually born into a crisis of identity. As far as public perception was concerned, his birth was a little sketchy. His inception was miraculous. He was born of a virgin. My Bible refers to Him as “God with us” (Matt 1:18) and as “The Son of God” (Luke 1:31). However, that part of my Bible was unavailable at the time of Jesus, as it hadn’t been written yet.

Most likely, Jesus grew up with the stigma of “bastard.” Outside of a few shepherds and some Wise Men who knew the whole story, his birth appeared scandalous. He was born out of wedlock as Joseph waited until after his birth to “tie the knot.” But Jesus was not insecure. He knew who he was. He was sure in his identity.

We know this because of the one story of Jesus in his youth. When he was twelve, his family journeyed to Jerusalem. As they were heading home, his parents lost track of him and for three days they searched the streets of Jerusalem. They finally found him at the temple. When his mother asked him where he had been he replied, "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house" (Luke 2:49). Jesus was sure in his identity.

We don’t hear about Him again until he turns 30. The story is picked back up with Jesus baptism. The Bible says that when He came up out of the water, he was filled with the Holy Spirit. A dove descended and God spoke in a thunderous voice. And in case anyone was unsure, God made it perfectly clear saying, “This is my Son with whom I am well pleased.” At that moment it went public; Jesus was the Son of God. We heard it from an angel, we heard it from the child and now we’ve heard from the mouth of God.

I would have expected Jesus to start his public ministry upon this proclamation, but instead, he is led into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. (Matt 4:1)

Forty days Jesus went without food or water. Three times Satan tempted him and each time he went after Jesus’ identity. “If you are the son of God,” he challenged. But Jesus was sure in his identity.

If you keep reading the rest of His story you will find that everywhere he went his identity was questioned and challenged; by the religious teachers, by entire towns, by government officials and even by his closest friends. And while all this is happening, Jesus is living a story of beauty and wonder. He is healing blind and def, lame and mute. He’s raising the dead and making lots of food out of little food. He’s walking on water and calming storms. He is releasing life to anyone who receives him as he is - the Son of God. In fact, everything he did confirmed he was Gods Son.

If the story of Jesus life had a battle, it was a daily fight for identity. If his story had an antagonist it was doubt, better known as unbelief. And each time Jesus was confronted with the crisis of identity he chose to believe what God had said about him from the very beginning. Jesus was sure in his identity.

Three years after Jesus baptism we read about how he rides into Jerusalem being worshiped. Finally, He is received by the people as He truly is – the Son of God, the King of Kings, love in human form. And for a moment we take a breath… and then…

Jesus is betrayed.

Only three days after his triumphant arrival to Jerusalem he finds himself bound and standing in front of the religious rulers. His identity is officially and for a last time questioned. "Are you then the Son of God?" (Luke 22:70a) he is asked.

And Jesus, knowing what lay ahead, knowing he faced a brutal beating and then a cross… And Jesus, sure in his identity, said, "You are right in saying I am" (Luke 22:70b).

To be honest, my entire life has been a search for identity. And I am becoming sure. Daily I come into a greater understanding regarding the fact that this faith journey I am on is a battle for who I am in Christ. I am at war with an antagonist known as unbelief.

God has invited me and you as well, to believe - to believe that he is love, that he works on our behalf toward good and that we are his sons and daughters with a profound heritage. I am confidant that our faith journey is about daily deciding to be sure in our identity.

I would like to suggest that though we were born into a crisis of identity, the moment we asked God to join us on the journey, that crisis was resolved. The moment we surrendered our life to Jesus, the moment he became Lord and Savior, the moment we received his love, is the moment we stepped into a new identity. Through believing, Jesus not only confirmed and revealed his identity but ultimately he won our identity for us as well. Jesus rose from the grave and forever answered that question for those who choose to believe. We are sons and daughters of God. We are loved and becoming love.

Our Identity is found in believing in the absolute goodness of Gods love. This journey we are on will have its breath in that revelation. To the extent we know this truth is to the extent we can engage this life giving adventure story. Like all good stories there will be mountains and valleys, there will be scary moments and wonder. And always it ends happily ever after. And that’s what I’m getting at. Following God is risky, absolutely. It might even lead to death on a cross. But because Jesus went first, we can be sure in our identity and therefore know that our story, like the best stories, always ends well – always.

New Song - Me And The Thunder Sons

So, I led worship last weekend at the Branch in the University area. Those church sure know how to worship!

It has been some time since I've played with anyone. Honestly, prior to preparing for last Sunday, I hadn't picked up my guitar in months. So, thanks Grayson for the invitation, I really enjoyed playing with you and the other guys! And thanks for forcing me to dust off the guitar. I'm inspired.

Last night I played through some of the tunes that I've written over the last year and got the idea to record this one as it actually has finished lyrics. I posted the lyrics here as well.

This is a fun way to get an idea about a song...



Me And The Thunder Sons

I turn my face
To a blazing sun
Your glory falls
Your Kingdom comes

Oh my God You are you are You are
Such a Holy love enough, enough, enough
Oh but still I must have more
Lying here on my kitchen floor
Jesus have your way
Meet me face to face

I pledged my head
To a holy love
Put down my paper picked up my guns
We took the hill
Me and the Thunder sons
We didn't quit till Thy Kingdom Comes

Singing Oh My God You are, You are, You are
Such a holy love, enough, enough, enough
Oh, but still we must have more
Lying here on Your sanctuary floor
Jesus have your way
Meet us face to face

The Wide Open Places

“Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. Everyone who asks will receive. Everyone who searches will find. And the door will be opened for everyone who knocks.

Would any of you give your hungry child a stone, if the child asked for some bread? Would you give your child a snake if the child asked for a fish? As bad as you are, you still know how to give good gifts to your children. But your heavenly Father is even more ready to give good things to people who ask. So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:7-11

In my Bible there is a break here with a new heading called “The Narrow and Wide Gates.” While I often find these headings helpful; sometimes they can cause me to read each section as a stand-alone. Sometimes a break in scripture doesn’t mean there was a break in what was being taught. Often if you read before or beyond a heading you can find context otherwise missed.

The fact is when we get to Matthew 7:13 Jesus has been talking for a while – well past lunchtime. I don’t know if he paused and collected himself, took a sip from his water bottle, but I do know he never said ok, now I will talk about a road and a gate and this should be separated contextually from what I was just talking about.

He continued saying,

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14)

I have heard these two verses of scripture taught on from the pulpit many times. And mostly, they have been delivered as a warning. The message would come with a cautionary tale of people who fell off the narrow road into sin. The implication that living a holy life, a good life, is really hard and the margin for error is just shy of a sliver. There was a sense that once we accept Jesus into our hearts, we have a long narrow restricted journey to look forward to. The upside of course is that if we can somehow pull “the narrow road life” off then when we die it will be worth it cause heavens waiting.

In all honesty, the narrow road has never sounded like much fun and as far as heavens concerned, why do I have to wait?

What I find interesting is directly before the narrow road comments, Jesus talks about Gods expansive goodness. He describes how most of humanity isn’t aware of how much God wants to give to us. How receiving from God is as simple as asking. He describes God as a good and loving father who wishes to give us our hearts desire. Quite a contrast to what I’ve been taught regarding narrow road Christianity.

I would like to suggest that the verses directly before the narrow road section of scripture provide context for the narrow road Jesus talked about. In fact I believe Jesus was laying the groundwork for an incredible truth found in the Narrow road/gate story.

So here’s what I think – Jesus was referring to himself. He is the narrow gate and the narrow road. He was giving those in the crowd a heads up regarding what was to come. He knew the plan. He knew He was going to die and rise from the dead for us. He new He was going to make life abundantly available to us. (I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10)

Jesus died and rose so we could have life. It is His gift to us – available for the asking. Its something we can ask for and then receive. Its something we can search for and it will be found. It’s a door we can knock on and it will be opened. It’s a good gift from a loving and good father. We can only accept it or not. It’s not something we can earn or strive for.

Here is the thing, there is never striving when it comes to Jesus. There is only and always surrender. And surrender is how we say yes to God, its how we receive; it’s the narrow gate and road engaged. Through Jesus, we have died, been reborn and been given a new life. The narrow gate and road is a decision to surrender to God and once we have accepted Jesus into our hearts we enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Through this narrow gate, we receive the treasure – the one that is beyond imagination, a relationship with the King and citizenship in His Kingdom. We enter through the gate - His name is Jesus, The Way The Truth and The Life - and into a Kingdom that is beyond what we can ask or imagine. But he still wants us to ask and imagine.

The Kingdom of heaven is the “life” Jesus refers to. The Kingdom is not something we enter at our physical death. The Kingdom is something we get to live here on earth. So lets get this scripture right. It’s not a strict striving hardship works based religion we’ve entered into, it’s a wide-open love affair. It’s simply saying yes to His love and yes to becoming love

I think that the narrow road and gate leads to a landscape that is grander in scope than we could possibly imagine. That the journey found on the other side of the narrow gate is bigger than our wildest dreams. That Gods Kingdom isn’t a someday Kingdom found at the end of an arduous and sever journey. On the contrary, His Kingdom is a today Kingdom where we personally know the God that told us to “ask and it will be given” – We know the God that “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” (Ephesians 3:20) The God who said, “Everything I have is yours.”

I don’t think there is a road on the other side of the cross. I think it’s more like there is a landscape of wide open spaces. A landscape full of oceans and mountains and plains and deserts and planets and galaxies and that they are ours to discover and claim for the King. I think this is the joy set before us, to discover the goodness of God in the land of the living. (Psalms 27:13)

I would like to introduce you to a life where the Kingdom of God is at hand and those that know His love and know who they are in the context of his love can engage this Kingdom in the here and now. Its wide open.

Top Twenty - Songs

Slow Runner – The Stakes Were Raised, Trying To Put Your Heart Back Together
Winter Sleep – Weighty Ghost
Regina Spektor – Laughing With
Piers Faccini – A Storm Is Going To Come
Phoenix – 1901
Pearl Jam – Among The Waves
Patrick Watson – Man Like You
Mutemath – Spotlight
Katie Herzig – I Hurt Too
The Great Northern – Driveway
The Envy Corps – Walls, Story Problem, Baby Teeth, Before The Gold Rush, Wires & Wool **just get the album**
Elbow – Grace Under Pressure
Deadman – Severe Mercy
David Gray – Fugitive
Better Than Ezra – Particle
Beirut – A Sunday Smile
Athlete – The Outsiders
Arcade Fire – No Cars
White Rabbits – Percussion Gun
Oasis – Get Off Your High Horse Lady
The Killers – My List

To Love in Turn

So, I have been writing like mad these past few weeks. Its been an odd thing this, but I suddenly have two books due - crazy right? Anyway, I have been posting the daily devotionals that will be edited at some point and put into the new Open Table. The Open Table is a small group study for new believers with a film and participants guide.

Chapter one is on Love. I think I have the chapter finished and thought I would put one more segment up. This is part four and follows on the heals of my last blog. If you think about me in the next 6 weeks, pray that God would release His love and Kingdom message through this project.

Oh, also, there are supposed to be two to three questions at the end of each section for the reader. I'm not very good at asking those questions as I rarely read them let alone answer them when reading a participants guide - maybe I should start. Anyway, if you think of a question that would help drive the message home, let me know. Thanks!

To Love In Turn

Yesterday I wrote about how John referred to himself, as “the one Jesus loved” and how this revelation of Gods loves is available to us.
Shortly after I discovered these verses in scripture God began to speak to my heart. I started thinking about Johns understanding of Jesus love and wondered if I was capable of loving in the same way.

Recently, one night at the super table while holding hands with my family, I told my wife she was “the one” I loved, that I loved her best, she was my favorite. Then I looked at my oldest daughter and I told her the same thing. I moved on to my son and finally my youngest daughter repeating myself as I went. You are “the one” that I love…
And you know what, it was true and everyone at the table knew it. Somehow I was able to love each of them best.

Paul tells us in Romans 8:11 that the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in us. It stands to reason then that we should be able to love just like Jesus does. In fact, I think that’s why we are here. We exist to know Gods love and love in turn.

That’s what this new life we have entered into is all about. The moment we surrendered to Gods love, the moment we received our salvation, we said yes to love and yes to becoming love.

I would like to suggest that the “Christian” experience, journey, walk, or whatever you want to call it, isn’t just about going to church, it’s also about becoming church. It isn’t just about going to heaven when we die, it’s also about bringing heaven to earth while we live. It isn’t just about receiving the beautiful love of our Savior and friend Jesus, it’s also about becoming that same love. And I am convinced that the only way to become love is to know His love as John did.

Several years ago, I began dialoging with God from John’s perspective. When praying I would thank God for His love, not the wide vague concept of love but the personal intimate one of a kind love God has for me. I don’t pray this way out some insecurity or arrogance, on the contrary. I have learned that the more aware I am of how much he loves me, the greater capacity I have to love those around me. I can say to my wife, my kids, my neighbor, the guy sitting next to me at Starbucks “you are ‘the one’ I love.” A person cant give away what they don’t posses. That’s why it is so important that we begin to see ourselves as God does, thereby possessing love and giving it away in greater measure.

I encourage you today to ask God to love you best, to reveal to you that you are “the one” that he loves and then begin to love those around you like you believe it.

He Loves Me Best

I was reading the gospel of John several years ago. Somewhere along the way I realized that John – the author - had a unique way of referencing himself. Three times he wrote about himself in the third person, as the “one Jesus loved.”

“One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him.” (John 13:23)

“So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved…” (John 20:2)

“…And saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them.” (John 21:20)

Now I grew up hearing preachers refer to John as Jesus’ favorite. You know, Jesus just had a special spot in his heart for John. As a kid I thought it was kinda cool how Jesus had a best friend. So a couple years ago, when I discovered that John was the fella that started the rumor, well, I have to admit, I was impressed. “I like that John,” I thought – starting nice rumors about himself like that.

Oh by the way, I don’t know if you have heard this yet but Jesus loves me best…

The more I thought about it, I realized that if anyone knew about Jesus and His love, it was the disciples and John was one of those fellas. He was with Jesus for three years. He was there when Jesus was moved with compassion and healed two blind men (Matt 20:34). He was there when Jesus wept before raising Lazarus his friend from the dead. (John 11;36). He was there when Jesus healed, restored, delivered, forgave and fed people (The Gospels). He ate, slept, prayed, laughed, cried - he did life with the love that is Jesus. He witnessed with his own two eyes the love that is Jesus poured out to the lost, weak, blind, def – you name the need – John watched love meet it.

He then witnessed love whipped and beaten and spit upon and cursed. He watched as Jesus was spread out, nailed to and the hung on a cross - love in human form giving up his life for all of mankind.

And then John was there for the resurrection, when love displayed his hands and feet to the disciples. He watched love ascend to heaven and experienced love again when it descended in the form of the Holy Spirit. If anyone knew what love looked like it was John.

And this same disciple went on to write a book about love. He went on to tell us all what he’d witnessed. And this is the same disciple who wrote about himself, as “the one Jesus loved.” In essence, the man who knew intimately what love looked like and felt like and acted like went on to tell us that this same love who was Jesus, loved him best. John had a revelation of God and described it as a uniquely shared love that was only available between the two of them. Essentially, what John communicated through his gospel was that as far as he was concerned, he was Jesus’ favorite. Jesus loved him best.

The Bible says that when Jesus went to the cross, he did it “for the joy set before him.” I have recently come to understand that we – you and me and the guy sitting next to me at Starbucks – we are that joy. Jesus loves each of us individually and intimately. And if Johns correct, then somehow we can know Jesus love in such a way that we could say about ourselves “I am the one Jesus loves,” I’m his favorite, He loves me best.

John’s revelation is astounding; Jesus can love each of us as “the one.” How cool is that? What’s more amazing is that Jesus can love each of us as “the one” without undermining His love for someone else. I think Johns understanding reveals the heart of Gods love. You see, from John’s perspective, Jesus was able to love Him best without contradiction.

There is available to us a unique relationship to this love. The heart of God even now speaks over each of us and he says “you are the one that I love."

Jesus doesn’t go to a cross because he has to, he goes for the joy that was set before him. That joy is a unique relationship with me and you. He went to the cross so that we could say with absolute certainty, “I am the one Jesus loves.”

Aimee - Peeing In The Bushes

Have you ever just wanted to tell a story but you have no context. Well this is one of the stories that was originally edited out of the S&U book. However, I am working on final edits right now and man if I am still not trying to find a relevant truth where this story works… We shall see.


Years ago, after walking home from school, Aimee, Joel and myself found the house locked up. Mom wasn’t home and so we had to wait outside. After a couple of minutes Aimee announced that she had to pee. A couple minutes after that she said to me “I’m going to go pee in the bushes.”

I thought that this was grossly inappropriate. Now if Joel had needed to pee, I would have told him to go pee in the bushes. But Aimee was a girl and so, well, it was just different, that’s all.

I told her she wasn’t allowed to go pee in the bushes and that she would just have to hold it till mom got home. I thought I had made myself clear but…

She glared at me and said, “I will pee in the bushes if I want to.”

“I am the boss and you have to listen to me!” I shot back. Looking back, I don’t think that statement ever got the results I was looking for…

Now Aimee was beyond mad, enraged, yeah that’s the word. I think she said the first thing that came to her mind, the only thing she really could have said at that moment, “Then I’ll pee in my pants!!”

It worked. Now I was enraged as well. You see, if it was unladylike to pee in the bushes it was definitely worse to pee in your pants. Plus, like any dictator I didn’t appreciate being questioned. “You are definitely not going to pee in your pants” I yelled.

“I will too” she screamed back.

And then...she did.

Eva's Bible - Love Poem

I had in my possession an amazing holy historical artifact - my Grandma Eva's Bible. My dad finally sequestered it but not before I had a chance to read through and scan some of the contents. This was her bible for over 50 years. It was marked on nearly every page in every ink color you can imagine.

Eva Clark was a holy person. She prayed. Always. Her prayers are resounding still. I think the blessing and favor that God has released on us Clark's is due to her praying.

Anyway, I found several little notes she kept in her Bible. Today I thought I would post this little cut out piece of paper that had a poem about the love of God.

Lord, thank-you for your wonderful love that is beyond my ability to comprehend!

Bono and The Kingdom of God

"Thy Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven" Preach it Bono.

Thought this was funny

The Wow and the How

For the past two months my brother Joel and I have been furiously working on a project called “The Open Table.” It’s part two of an awesome discipleship tool that is the brainchild of Donald Miller and is being distributed by Thomas Nelson. Months ago, Joel and I started dreaming up what we wanted to really focus on and once Don approved we got to work.

Since then Joel and Nick (Switchvert) have been working on the film component and nearly wrapped that up. Meanwhile, I am responsible for the guidebook.

Since this project was green lighted, Joel and I have been wrestling with “The Wow and the How.” We want to write and display truths that both help nurture and challenge a life with Jesus. And though knowing how is great we don’t want to ever lose the fact that the “how” would not be necessary if there wasn’t a “wow.”

The life of a believer is always about the wow. This life is about encountering God. There are wonderful “hows” to learn along the way but they always start with a “wow.”

Anyway, that’s what I have been wrestling through as of late. If you think about it, pray for this project. That we would be able to release the “wow” while still blessing with the “how.”

A Sunday Morning Drive

On Sundays around 10:30 in the morning I often go to a meeting. It is normally held in a large building. There are lots of church there, all kinds – lovely people. There are men and women, children, babies – the old and young all gathering together.

They come from all walks of life. There are lawyers and painters, salesmen and waiters. There are Butchers and Bakers and Candlestick makers. There are…well, you get it.

The church gathers and sings beautiful love songs to God. We pray for each other and encourage and challenge each other to love greater and live bolder. Often someone speaks about the goodness of God. It’s a pretty cool thing to do on a Sunday morning.

One day while I was out for a drive, I passed one of the big buildings where we gathered on Sunday mornings and I noticed that the sign on the front lawn said church. It implied that the buildings name was “church.” I chuckled to myself. Somebody had a sense of humor.

However, over the next couple days I started seeing these signs everywhere. I began to feel concern; maybe this wasn’t a practical joke after all. Maybe some of the church had forgotten what church really was.

Then one day I ran into a man who wanted directions to church. I smiled, threw out my arms and said, “you found him!” He gave me a very confused, somewhat frightened look and then quickly drove away. It was then that I realized he wanted to know the location of the building we met in.

Suddenly the signs weren’t so funny. “This is not good. This is not good at all. This is dangerously close to that evil thing I heard about called religion. People should not think that the church is a place or even a set of beliefs.” Church is people, its an assembly of believers who know and express the love, restoration, healing and deliverance of God.

When people start thinking church is just a building or set of beliefs, they become sorely disappointed. Though buildings and a set of beliefs are good, they can never love you, heal you, pray for you, dream with you, challenge you…

When people forget what the church truly is, they become heart broken and disillusioned.

Kids who grow up never knowing that they are the church and that God is more that a nice guy in heaven who likes people to gather together on a Sunday morning for a religious experience…

These kids eventually start dreading “church.” They start doing anything they can to get out of going to "church". These kids start stealing their parent’s cars and driving like madmen, ignoring stop signs and even outrunning policeman – all in an effort to escape the doldrums of what "church" has come to mean – a name for a building.



But do not fear, there is hope! I have met many church who still remember what church is and they are waking up those who have forgotten. On Sundays at around 10:30 they gather and they love. They love God and they love eachother.

Kids have again experienced that they are the church, they are loved and becoming love. They have given dad back the car keys and even now they are dreaming of what a church who knows its identity can do in advancing the Kingdom!

Crane Jumping

My brother Joel has always been my hero. Though I have often wished I could join him on one of his adventures, when it comes to crane jumping, I can say with certainty, "I am glad I wasn't there."

Thought this was pretty cool...

Everything He Has Is Ours

The Prodigal Son - Luke 15:11-32

I love the story of the prodigal son. I grew up loving it – it was a favorite. Part of the reason was because of the Keith Green song about the same story called “The Prodigal Son Suite.” I used to sit in the living room crossed legged on the carpet in front of my dads huge stereo speaker. As the song burst from the speakers I would pretend to play the piano on the carpet. I played so long and so rigorously that my mom would actually move the speaker due to the carpet being worn out.

It’s a beautiful song about a beautiful story - a story of the goodness of Gods love. The amazing unmerited mercy and grace of a good Father.

You know it. There was a father with two sons. The younger came to dad and asked for his inheritance. Dad gave it to him and he went out into the world and spent it in every self-centered way conceivable. Eventually he ran out of cash. Then the country went into recession (famine) and the only job he could find was feeding pigs. He hit bottom when he realized that the pigs ate better than he did.
So he decides to go home, beg forgiveness and ask his father for a place among the servants.

Here is how Keith puts it.

The Son

“…I was near home, in site of the house,
My father just stared, dropped open his mouth,
He ran up the road, and fell to my feet, and cried, and cried,
Father I've sinned, Heaven ashamed,
I'm no longer worthy to wear your name,
I've learned that my home is right where you are,
Oh father, take me in.”

The Father

“Bring the best robe, put it on my son,
Shoes for his feet, hurry put them on,
This is my son who I thought had died,
Prepare a feast for my son's alive…”

I can hear this song in my head even while I write. I am transported back in front of the speaker in our living room, the piano, strings and the horns a back drop for Keith’s voice as He sings from the fathers perspective.

“My son was lost, oh thank you God he's found, My son was dead and he's now alive, Prepare a feast for my son's alive…”

It’s a sweeping masterpiece - both the story and Keith’s rendition.

I think everyone loves this story. It’s so beautiful and it seems right that it end with the celebration feast - Everyone joyful that the son has returned. There’s singing, dancing, laughing and eating late into the night as mercy and grace pass through the room like good wine…

But the story doesn’t end there.

There’s an epilogue where we don’t want one. It’s kinda distracting and honestly its kinda sad and disappointing. Its not the happily ever after we want at the end of a beautiful story. It’s a sour note – one that never made it into Keith’s song and rightfully so.

This is a story about a father with two sons…

“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. “Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. (Luke 15:25-31)

Big brother comes in after a hard day of working out in the field. He has been sweating and toiling, he has been “slaving.” Was he envious of little brother? Yep. But what’s interesting is that his father doesn’t address the envy, he speaks to the heart of the matter.

He says, “…you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.”

I feel like often in my life, I have worked and toiled – I have sweated out my faith. I have done the right stuff; I’ve been good and “godly.” I’ve even done a little slaving – all for Jesus of course… I don’t think I’m alone in this.

I think many Christians have been trying to earn a place in our father’s house. Here is the amazing thing; we can’t earn what is already given. You can’t earn being an heir. You can’t earn your way into son ship our daughter ship. You’re born into that. You get it. It’s given. If you have asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, then you have been re-born into an inheritance that is eternal.

I ache for the big brother who has the spirit of religion on him. He is living from a place of religion – set of beliefs – and not relationship. If you live outside the context of relationship, you are unable to celebrate when a relationship is restored.

Because of his limited understanding, big brothers world is very small. Because he doesn't live from the revelation that everything Dad has is his, His potential is only as big as his own personal abilities. He only has access to his own strength, his own knowledge - whatever he can accomplish by the sweat of his brow.

And so, he does all the right things for the wrong reasons. And even though that might seem alright - cause “hey, the right stuff is getting done” - the problem is not only is the older son missing out on the joy of life, eventually he finds himself offended and at odds with his dad.

Here’s the thing, if I don’t embrace and live from the revelation that “Everything my Heavenly Father has is mine,” then some day something will happen that I cant understand and I will find myself hurt, angry and at odds with dad.

I have met many Christians who have been hurt by the goodness of God because they have been living and doing all the right stuff from the wrong revelation. If we don’t understand that “Everything he has is ours,” we not only miss out on the celebration, we find ourselves resenting our heavenly Father. We find ourselves at odds with the very nature that is his Love. Suddenly our misunderstanding trumps our Fathers love. Our lack of revelation determines how we live and how we love.

But when life is lived from our fathers perspective, the joy we experience from the return of a prodigal is not something that has to be mustered up, it is simply an overflow of our fathers heart.

Jesus died and rose so we would never again have to slave. When we see our inheritance for what it is, the very power of Love, we no longer need worry or fret. We need never slave again.

“For the kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matt 10:7). It’s right here, at hand, within reach. You see, we are heirs to the King. Everything he has is ours and its ours right now. Not when we die or after we have earned it but right now. Not because of what we have done but because of what Jesus did. And because we are now heirs, every aspect of our father is available to us.

Everything he has is ours! Do you need mercy? It’s yours! Do you need friendship? It’s yours! Need hope, He is Hope! Need provision, joy, love, a Sabbath, a miracle, everything he has is ours! How awesome is that!

The Ants Go Marching

My brother is a genius...

Look Up & Let Go

Grand Central Station. Spring of 1993 - late afternoon…

“I’m here” I thought to myself.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag.”

I was beginning my new life as an adult! After a 16-hour Greyhound bus ride, Id arrived to meet my new employer in the greatest city in world history. At least, that’s what I’ve been told by New Yorkers since. I had been hired to be a roadie for one of the worlds greatest trumpet players ever, at least that’s what I’ve been told Doc Severinson said - Trumpeter for the Johnny Carson show.

The station felt dirty… “Well not really dirty, just old,” I thought as I headed out to the street.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag”

I had twenty-nine dollars and thirty-one cents in my pocket. I had started out with thirty but had bought a Recess Peanut butter Cup at one of the stops. It had been a nice touch to the apple and peanut butter and jelly sandwich my mom had packed for me.

My folks didn’t have any money and this was before credit card debt was a way of life, so I had just enough to buy the twenty dollar ticket back to Rochester NY if my ride didn’t show.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag…”

Everyone was heading up and out. I joined the flow and stepped out onto Park Ave. I was 18 years old and had never been alone in a city of any size.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag.”

The fear was real but contained.

I found a pay phone and instead of using more of my precious capital, I called my parents collect. “I’m here.” Moms first question was “Is an adult there to pick you up?” “No mom, but I think I will try to hail a cab and go to the hotel and see if I can find them.” I said bravely.

My mom had wanted me to immediately buy a return ticket and catch the next Greyhound home. But that would have ended my new life. This was NYC and I wasn’t ready to call it quits and get back on a bus for home.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag…”

"Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag." That was the last piece of advice my Dad said in my ear as he hugged me goodbye. I clutched my bag and kept my eyes forward, determined not to look up, determined to hail a cab, determined to get myself to my new employers Hotel - the Marriott Marquis right on Times Square. The map my dad and I had looked at before I left showed the Hotel to be only four blocks from Grand Central Station, so this was do-able.

The street was filled bumper to bumper with yellow cabs. I had only the movies as a reference. I worked up the nerve and started toward the street timidly waiving my arm. No cabs stopped. There is nothing timid about NYC. While I stood there contemplating my next move, I noticed I was looking up…

When I brought my focus back to street level, I was startled to discover an older fella had invaded my personal space. He was maybe in his mid 40s. His hair was wiry and mostly grey, he had a distinct unpleasant body odor but what most stood out was the patchwork of bandages that lined the insides of both arms.

“Where are you going?” He asked. He was missing a front tooth.

I nodded, “I’m fine sir, thanks.”

He leaned closer, “Need a cab?”

I just wanted him to go away. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Where are you going” he asked bluntly.

I shouldn’t have looked up I thought and then, because of my good upbringing, I answered the question. “ I am staying at the Marriott Marquis on Times Square.”

“I know where that is - it’s close. You don’t need a cab. Five bucks and I’ll take you there.”

Before I could agree he snatched my bag out of my hand and started across the street.” “Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag,” I thought one last time as I followed the man who had taken my bag. I began praying fervently. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”

“Once upon a time…” I followed a guy through the streets of NY, was yelled at by a couple fellas, cursed at by another fella I bumped into, taken to the wrong hotel, told it was the right hotel, cursed at again - this time by a cabbie - and finally delivered to the correct Hotel where eventually I met a mythic trumpet player and his crew, was led through the bowels of Madison Square Gardens while the National Democratic Convention for Bill Clinton was winding down, witnessed the gay pride parade and then flown off in a personal King Air to begin my grand adventure as an adult.

This was the beginning of my journey into adulthood and also the beginning of a spiritual journal. One in which I have had to learn just the opposite of my dads directions – Keep your eyes up and let go of your bags. Or, Look up, let go.

Once upon a time I looked up and let go... And as Robert Frost - the greatest poet ever known to mankind, at least that's what my 11th grade English teacher said - once wrote "that has made all the difference."

Kingdom Come

Taken from Matt 13:46

There was a fella who knew of a treasure that was buried in a field. This treasure was greater than any treasure any mind could conceive. It was beyond imagination. The treasures name was Truth. This fella was so excited about the treasure that he sold everything he owned - right down to the clothes on his back. He gave all that he was and all that he had and naked he went to his field. He began to dig. And there he found his treasure and it was a Kingdom. It was a greater Kingdom than I can describe but I will try nonetheless.

This Kingdom was built on love. The King himself was love. The Kingdoms greatest power was found in joy, which was engaged through believing. Everything about the Kingdom was good. There was no evil in the Kingdom, not even a single drop - not a sliver. There was no sickness or sadness in this Kingdom and because this Kingdom was founded on love, all sorrow was redeemed and restored to joy. In this kingdom all things always worked to good.

And amazingly, this fella, the one who went digging in the nude, well, he became an heir and citizen in this kingdom. In essence, he was reborn and became a new creation taking on the very nature of His King - love. He was given new clothes and they fit him like a glove. These clothes were righteous and this fella was marvelous to behold because he had the love of His King in Him. Because of love, this fella had access to every part of this kingdom.

This Kingdom had a creed. It was known as the good news. The King spoke it often and the fella’s heart leaped with joy to hear it! It went like this “Thy Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.” This next part may seem odd but it is truly astounding – the moment this fella received the love of his King he found that his field was now apart of the Kingdom. In fact wherever he stepped the King and His Kingdom went with him. And then he realized that this is why he existed – to know the Kings love and to establish his Kingdom…

Ok, I know what your thinking, your thinking I haven’t done this Kingdom justice. I know I haven’t, but in all fairness, I only learned how to write about 30 years ago. I do have several more pages to give it a go and I plan on writing about it for at least another 50 years. So bear with me…

At the age of five, around the time I began learning how to write, I found my treasure. I gave Jesus all of me and I asked him into my heart. At that moment, I became an heir of the King and I gained citizenship to the same Kingdom I just described. Since then I have been discovering just how amazing this King and His Kingdom is. Since then, I have been discovering what it means to be an heir of the King and citizen of His Kingdom.

Some refer to this moment in a person’s life as “salvation.” Yep, that’s a good word for it. But it’s not just a moment. Since the age of five, I have been learning that Salvation is the most beautiful of life’s miracles. I once was dead, now I’m alive! I once was clothed in self-centered ignorance, I’m now clothed in love and righteousness. I once was a citizen of a fallen Kingdom, I now am a citizen of Heaven. What makes the miracle of salvation so much more amazing is the fact that it doesn’t end there. Our salvation is not the end of our story; it’s the beginning of a new one.

If I may put it this way, after saying yes to Jesus, salvation is not only the answer, it’s the question. The question, “how shall we now live?” Most of my life I have understood salvation as an assurance of heaven after I die. Well, yes, that’s true, but there’s so much more. You see, I am saved to bring heaven to earth while I’m alive.

Just like that fella who bought the field, I have met the King and taken on His identity as my own. I have become love and because of this love, I have His creed burned on my heart… “Thy Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.”

No Condemnation

Jesus was walking into Jericho when he sees the little man in a sycamore tree. “Zacchaeus come on down. I’m going to your house for dinner,” Jesus says.

The Bible tells us that Zacchaeus was a bad man and he was also short - no relation. He stole from and cheated the people of Jericho. They didn’t like him. Then he meets with Jesus and it turned out like every God encounter I have ever had. It goes something like this...

Jesus comes, honors me by meeting with me. He doesn’t bring up my past, my weakness or failures. There is no condemnation, shame, or guilt. Instead, when I find myself in his presence, I am simply humbled by his love for me. Yes I am aware of who I was but I am infinitely more aware of who He is, that He dwells in me and my heart is challenged to be holy as He is holy.

After Zacchaeus met with Jesus, Zacchaeus gave half of what he owned to the poor and returned to those he stole from four times over the amount taken. Jesus didn’t ask him to do this. Jesus didn’t even raise his eyebrow and give Zacchaeus the universal mom look that says “you know what you need to do.” The Bible doesn’t always give inflection but I’m pretty sure that Jesus didn’t say “I must eat at your house today” with sarcasm and eyerolling. If there was emphasis on the “must,” it was enthusiasm!

I have heard this story since I was a child and I sang the cute litte ditty about Zacchaeus being “a wee little man and a wee little man was he” …ok, sometimes I still sing it… But as a kid without any sense of economics, I thought nothing of the fact that Zacchaeus gave away half his worth. It seemed pretty natural to just give up more than half of what you had cause Jesus was nice.

As an adult who likes to eat and sleep indoors and who has a wife and kids who also like to eat and sleep indoors, and who has to pay for it himself, I know Zacchaeus’ generosity wasn’t inspired just because Jesus was nice. Nice is nice, but “nice” doesn’t have the power to inspire this kind of generosity. This wasn’t just about Jesus being nice. This was about Zacchaeus experiencing the revelation of Jesus’ love. This was about Zacchaeus experiencing unmerited grace and mercy. He got saved.

As you already know, you can’t go on as you did, once Jesus’ love is encountered. Zacchaeus’ response to Jesus was birthed from love. Love is what pricks a conscience or convicts us. Mercy and grace received, births generosity.

There is a difference between conviction and condemnation. One is holy the other is evil. One brings life, the other death. When I meet with Jesus I never come away feeling condemnation. That’s not how he operates. It is actually counter to his nature.

If somehow you are experiencing shame or condemnation when you meet with God I would like to suggest that you didn’t get it from him. It was probably there before you met with him and instead of giving it to Him, you took it away with you…

Jesus died for me, and for you. He took all our shame, all our guilt and all condemnation. Once we enter into his love we have no right to take it back. Let me make this clear, we as believers no longer have any right to feel shame, condemnation or guilt. The Bible says, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom 8:1) To accept condemnation actually belittles what Jesus did on the cross. He died so that we no longer have to live under condemnation.

I know this sounds like a tall order but it’s really just a perspective change. It’s a revelation we need to posses. If I miss God, if I sin, then I repent – change the way I think. I don’t take on guilt, condemnation or shame.

Its not that I am saying I am unaware of who I am without Jesus. Without Jesus I am guilty. I have never come away from a reflection of my guilt better off than when I started. It's crazy to me that people want to get to know themselves better. Why? What good would that do? I want to know what God thinks about me. I want to see myself through His eyes. Cause through Gods eyes Zacchaeus was capable of giving more than half of what he owned away. Cause through Gods eyes, I am capable of living the “greater works than these lifestyle. And that’s what I signed up for.

Here is the thing, when you see through Gods eyes you become capable of all the things that condemnation says you aren’t.

The Furious Longing Of God

I remember the first time I read Brennan Manning. My dad had been talking non-stop about this new book “The Ragamuffin Gospel.” We were all - my brothers and sister, Karen and I - over at my parents for a holiday weekend. “You need to get this book, he said, around the dinner table that first night.” “It is changing everything I understand about grace.” And then very much like my dad, the next night he was handing out a copy to each of us. I have learned that if dad likes a book, I don’t have to buy it myself – eventually, on my birthday, Christmas, or just because – dad will go out and buy it for me.

The other thing I have learned – since I’m no longer a teen and therefore I know that I don’t know everything – is that when dad gives me a book, I should read it instantly.

The “Ragamuffin Gospel” was a life changer and since that time Brennan has been one of my favorite authors. His books can be found scattered throughout my house. There is a copy of “The Signature of Jesus” in my office. “Ruthless Trust” sits on a shelf in our family room and several copies of “Ragamuffin” can be found wherever books gather. And they do gather from time to time - This is the pile we want to lend to Mary and that’s the pile we want to give to Karen’s mom and so on.

Recently I received a copy of Brennan’s new book “The Furious Longing Of God.” After reading it, I felt like I had sat with Brennan in his living room while he just shared life. I have never met Brennan or heard him speak but I imagine it must feel a bit like this book - very personable, real, a walking out revelation of love and grace that makes you just want to know Jesus more. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about this book – looks like I get to buy dad a copy this time…

One other fun part about reading this book for me was that when I opened it, I realized that the fella that wrote the forward is someone I have the privilege of working with on another project. And then, when halfway through the read; I realized that I also had the honor of working with the fella that edited the book as well.

One Reason Why I Write…

At the age of eighteen having already been a King for more than half his life, Josiah sent his man, Azaliah, along with a clean up crew into the temple to tidy the place up. Israel was at this point a pagan nation. They had fallen away from God and for several hundred years, they had served other Gods. They did “evil in the sight of God.” They had sex temples and altars where they could sacrifice their children – these were among the evils they committed. So yeah, it was pretty bad…

“King Josiah, while we were cleaning up we found this “book.” After Hilkiah (the High Priest) blew off the dust he read a bit of it and you wouldn’t believe this but it appears to be "the book!” Azaliah stood before His King offering him "the book." (2 Kings 22-23)

You know why I write? Why I try to blog? Yes, it is one of the ways I process, clarify, resolve and receive revelation - but mostly I write for Maddy, Ethan and Eva. I write for my kids kids and their kids as well. I want to write them a legacy of the goodness of God. I want to write them a story about the love of God. I want to build them a foundation upon which they can know love and in turn love. I want to write prophetically in the timeless voice of God “you have a great destiny, a holy purpose.” I want to write that they would know who they are and because of that knowledge, they would radically impact the world they live in.

Three hundred and twenty years before King Josiah found the book there was a prophet by the name of Jeroboam. Jeroboam prophesied to this nation about a coming King who would destroy the evil altars that Israel had set up. This King would restore the nation back to God. He even prophesied this Kings name. “He cried out against the altar by the word of the LORD : "O altar, altar! This is what the LORD says: 'A son named Josiah will be born to the house of David. On you he will sacrifice the priests of the high places who now make offerings here, and human bones will be burned on you." (1 Kings 13:2)

When Josiah’s clean up crew found “the book,” Josiah had it read aloud in its entirety. Can you imagine what happened in his heart when he heard his named mentioned? Can you imagine what kind of impact that had on him?

If you don’t know the story of King Josiah, he went on from this discovery to completely destroy every trace of evil upon the land. He was zealous in his pursuit of the promise he received. He was intent upon fulfilling what God gave him to do. 2 Kings 23:25 says “Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the LORD as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength…”

That seems like a pretty good reason to write eh?

Thank you Kris Vallotton - Kris is a pastor at Bethel in Redding CA. He spoke this word a few years back at a writting conference and it impacted me greatly.

Ready For My Own Bed

I am ready for my own bed with no kids in it. We are rounding out an 8 day trip to Western NY. The kids have been awesome and very interested in seeing all the places where dad and mom first fell in love. We have also eaten at almost all the places where dad and mom first fell in love.

We had a great time driving up through DC. We spent the night at my brothers house and the next day while on our way to Starbucks we stopped by the White House. There was a protest for the Camels - or maybe it was the Tamils. At one point Maddy said "these protesters are ruining our field trip." While Karen explained that the protesters where actually a great example of what the White House represented - freedom of speech and all - Ethan and I tried to figure out what happened to the Camels. Actually Ethan wondered about the Camels, I wondered about the Tamils. I have since learned they are a persecuted people group in India.

The weather in Western NY is supposed to be beautiful this time of year. Though it started out nice, its been hot and muggy since we arrived at Elim.

My hero is here - Bill Johnson. He has been doing heroic things. Its been fun to watch my spiritual mentor meet with my spiritual heritage.

Though I haven't had much time to write I have been processing and receiving much. I hope to write a bit here in the coming weeks. In the meantime here is a few pictures of the trip.

The Chill

Last night I felt the “chill.”

I gave my music to God five years ago and he has hidden the chill from me ever since. There have been moments in these last five years when I wondered if I would ever feel it again.

I remember at the age of 10 sitting Indian style in front of the speaker playing my carpet piano while Keith Greens “The Prodigal Son” enchanted. I remember at the age of 15 lying on my waterbed with my Walkman blaring U2s “Where The Streets Have No Name,” mesmerized by its beautiful simplicity. And I remember driving home from the hospital after the birth of my son listening to Coldplay’s brilliant “Clocks ” – all of these moments where accompanied by the “chill.”

It would surprise me, tickling my skull and shivering down my spine. If you have experienced it, then you know. It’s the perfect moment when your sound, soul and spirit combine to create aural ecstasy. It’s a moment where God shows His face - and He is smiling. The world is beautiful, God is good and everything is in its right place. I feel it as a chill. This chill is not the only way I feel God, its just one of the ways he has revealed himself to me through music… Its also one of the reasons I fell in love with music.

I am one of the blessed humans that knows he is an artist. I am a musician, a singer and a songwriter. As Brennan Manning says,” it’s the story of my life but not the whole story.” I ache with the longing to create. I dream of being able to - for a moment - create an atmosphere in which “the chill” can visit. I think it’s one of the reasons I was created. The absence of the “chill” was agony. It was the death of a dream, the surrender of a “story.”

And in this surrender, I have learned the voice of God regardless of the chill. I have learned that he is in a song even when there is no chill. He is in a moment even when he is not felt. He is in my worship even when intimacy is intellectual.

I don’t know if that makes sense, but if you know me, you know I am about the presence of God. I am about the experience. I want to feel Him with me, around me and through me.

I have learned that the presence of God is here even when I cant feel it. Though I have been taught this since I was a child, I now know it from experience. His love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, glory, honor, goodness, majesty – the “chill”… Every aspect of God is present and I have access to Him in all of these areas not because I can feel it but because its true and because I know it.

I think this may be what the renewing of a mind feels like – at least for me.

That being said, it was wonderful to feel the chill again…

Write Now

Write Now…

I am at the coffee shop; I have a latte and my Mac Book, which I understand is essential if you wish to be a “writer.” I have my headphones on and I have enough Indy music to write for a month straight.

Write now… I don’t know if I like this writing thing today.

I read somewhere that writing is just like anything else, you have to do it a lot before you could actually say “hey, I’m not horrible.” So I keep typing…

Write now! Now?

I think it’s in me, writing… and it wants out. When I read a good book or a blog, I think, “I want to do that!” Then I start writing…

The phone is ringing – thank God!

That was Shawn. He sure is having a great day… I need a break. Wonder what’s on Facebook? – “Carver is driving and drinking coffee.” That sounds nice. I wonder if he can see Mt Rainier right now?

I check my email – nothing.
MySpace has been dead lately. I check it anyway. Nothing.
I check my email again.
I check Virb and… my email.

“Ok, time to write.

Write now, right now. Write now!”

Hey that's funny. You can write the word “write” two ways and it still works.

Right now, write now… cool.

I should call Joel cause he would think that was clever and would wax eloquent and that would be fun.

I have to use spell check for the millionth time on the word “cause” as I keep putting the u before the a… crap millionth and one.

I want to get better at writing. I cant explain fully why. It’s not an unfulfilled childhood dream pushing me and I don’t think I have enough time or energy to be good enough to do it for a living…

But I think occasionally…

Once and awhile…

I have something I want to say…

Just not today.

Hunger, Hiddeness & A New Song

Years ago, on a mission trip in South Africa, I led a worship service at a Christian school. One of the songs we sang was "Hungry." The chorus goes “We are hungry for more of You” (Jesus). At first the students thought this an odd expression. But when I explained that we as believers needed to have an almost physical hunger for His presence in our hearts, they responded by singing with a grasp of the word that astonished and humbled me. They understood hunger and had great respect for it. Their hunger stirred my hunger that night and the presence of God was sweet as we worshiped for hours.

I have often prayed for an increased hunger without fully grasping what I was asking for. Hunger is directly associated with need. Its only hunger if you have waited to eat. I believe its our understanding of our need that makes room for God to come and fill us. God loves our hunger and he loves filling us up and it’s our hunger that allows God to expand the parameters of our hearts that we might know Him more.

Lately, I have been desperate to know him more. God has hidden himself and this "hiddeness" has stirred me to greater hunger. I believe one of the reasons God has hidden himself from me is to increase my hunger. I also believe that anything hidden can be found - that God always responds to sincere hunger. Matt 5:6 says, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, they shall be filled." I am blessed if I hunger and thirst but there is also a promise of being filled as well, there is the promise that I will find...

I wrote this song last month, the first phrase runs through my head on a daily basis.

It doesn't have a title yet and I will continue to develop it...

Place your hand upon my head
Place your hand on my head
I want to feel you, like you're in the room

Fill your lungs and breath on me
Fill your lungs and breath on me
I want to feel you, like you're in the room, like your next to me

Cause there's a violent hunger in my bones
Cause I've seen you in this very room
Cause there's a lion prowling at my door
And I've determined to let Him in
Cause there's a flood gate that just let go
And its tearing all this shit down
Cause the fire burns and I want more
Cause I've seen you in this very room

If the Kingdom is for violent men, I bare my teeth and grin
And in my broken porcelain skin I'm furious to contend
If the Kingdom is for little children, I lay my head upon your breast
As the favored son of the King, I’ll shine glorious while I rest

Place your hand upon my head
Place your hand upon my head
I want to see you, like your in the room

The Tale Of Despereaux - The Re-telling

Last night we watched “The Tale Of Despereaux.” Karen had just finished reading the story to Maddy and Ethan the night before so there was much excitement for this showing. Teeth were brushed and pajamas put on. We pulled out the blankets and pillows, turned off the lights, turned up the surround sound and cuddled on the couch.

Like many books adapted to screen, there was much missing. However, this movie went above and beyond - radically changing characters and storyline. So much so that when the movie was over Ethan said, “I don’t think whoever made this movie even read the book.”
Then he showed me his “book.” He had written it earlier in the day. After reading Ethan’s retelling I have to agree with him.

The Tale Of Despereaux - The Re-telling
By Ethan Clark

Once upon a time, there was a mouse who was born. His name was
Despereaux Tilling.

He was a little strange. He read fairy tales and Despereaux spoke to the Princess Pea.

Then, Despereaux was sent to the dungeon where the rats live.

He escaped the dungeon with the help of Gregory, the jailer.

Roscurro, the rat, was nasty. He tricked Miggery Sow, the servant girl, into taking the princess to the dungeon.

Despereaux went back into the dungeon to save Princess Pea.

Boticelli, another nasty rat who lived in the dungeon, tricked
Despereaux into the hiding place where the Princess Pea was.

Despereaux put his needle like sword up to Roscurro's heart and saved the Princess Pea.

/*The End.*/

You Would Think Id Have Learned This Earlier In Life

But its come to my attention that people tend to believe what I tell them.

For instance, people believe me when I say “no, I don’t want the last piece of blueberry pie.” Or “I’m not very smart. Or “I’m not a great writer… “

Turns out that while I thought I was projecting my humility, I was actually missing out on Blueberry pie, intelligent conversation and mass readers… well, at least the first two…

There I go again...

"Daddy, I See A Ociton"

Today, Eva –my two year old - and I went to the “city town.” On the drive in, I began to sing an old song. I hadn’t heard it in years. For some reason it popped into my head. As I sang, the lyrics captivated me.

“I love you Lord and I lift my voice
To worship You, oh my soul rejoice
Take joy my King in what You hear
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.”

I couldn’t stop singing the last two lines…

This morning I woke up feeling heavy. As soon as my eyes opened, I was thinking about all that had to be done and the needs of my family and the needs of the business, but mostly I thought about the language barrier between God and me.

Its not that He isn’t around, I can feel Him, but when He speaks, He isn’t speaking in a language I understand… and He started doing it almost a year ago.

Eva corrects my singing, “No daddy… B. I. N.E O.! and binno was his name-o.” So I change my melody and words and we sing “B.I.N.E.O. I’m all right replacing the G with an E…

We arrived at “city town” and while Eva pointed out all the red ocitons - stop signs - I began to think about the importance of listening even when I cant understand.

Eva says “Daddy, I aff a secret, lets go a mdonals” I smile. She is so beautiful; it makes me ache with the goodness. She would like to go to McDonalds with her Daddy and have it be our secret. What makes it even sweeter is she cant keep a secret…

I can feel God speaking to me; I just can’t make it out. And I know He is with me. I know it like I know Oreo's are better with milk or like I know BA really did like Murdock - he just pretended he didn’t. Its just one of those things I know.

But if you can’t understand God and you used to be fluent in “God,” you sure can get discombobulated. And so, I have learned in the last year that it’s very important to have good sources - friends, family, the bible, Godly teachers. And also, I have learned that you have to know what you believe and then live it regardless…

“Lets go eat,” I say to Eva after finishing my errands. We don’t stop at McDonald's but we do stop at Phat Burrito which is one of the best eats in “city town.” I tell Eva the name of the restaurant while we wait in line. I tell her again while we get soda. I share my quesadilla and as Eva eats hers she says “Daddy, what’s this?” And then “Fat bummito.” I smile. “That’s right hun, it’s a fat bummito.”

When God first started speaking to me in a new language, I spent months offended. Then months repenting, then months giving Him everything. None of this changed His mind, He still continues to be obstinate...

As we head home from "city town," I think out loud. "I would love it if You would speak to me so I can understand. I really miss our conversations." Then Eva says “Daddy, I see a ociton,” and I smile again.

When you love someone, you learn to speak their language.
Eva has her own language and I've become fluent.

This thought crosses my mind. “If God is speaking and you can’t understand Him, its time to learn a new language.”

"Lord Jesus," I sing.

“Take joy my King in what You hear.
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.”

Current Top Twenty - Songs

Augustana – Dust
Bon Iver – Skinny Love
Rickey Skaggs & Bruce Hornsby – Mandolin Rain
Cinematic Orchestra – To Build A Home
Coldplay – Glass Of Water
Ed Harcourt – Good Friends Are Hard To Find
Feist – 1234
Fiona Apple – Not About Love
The Fire Theft - Backward Blues
John Mark McMillan – Carbon Ribs & Ten Thousand
Keane – Playing Along
MuteMath – Spotlight
Patrick Watson – Luscious Life
Phil Wickham – Singalong version of Beautiful
Pilot Speed - Into The West & Alright
Rachael Yamagata – Elephants
Radiohead – Reckoner
Ryan Adams – Goodnight Rose
Snow Patrol – The Lightning Strike:What If This Storm Ends…
U2 – The Moment Of Surreneder & Stand Up Comedy

"I Am"

One of the names of God is “I Am” (Exodus 3:14). He is “I Am,” which means, He is the God of right now. Yesterday He was God and tomorrow He is God and its good to know this but today I really want to know Him as “I Am,” the God of right now.

I think that if I could know know Him as “I Am” I could have access to Him in any and every way I need Him... His peace, His grace, His love, His glory, His power... His wisdom - Yeah, I could use that right now.

The cool thing is, right now, at the moment I write this, He is “I Am.” Therefore right now, as I write this, I have access to wisdom... right?

Jesus, let me know you as "I Am"

Amen

Jericho

This is a new project from Switchvert (my brother Joel's company) for the band Niemand. The name of the song is Jericho and the video highlights the tragic violence that is common place in South Africa. At the same time the lyrics and melody provide grace and hope for a people in the midst of a fight.

"In one voice, one song let us rumble with your might. "...See the rising Son, a change has got to come."

This chorus coupled with the imagery is beautiful. I get chills every time I watch it.

The Bills Sign TO and Hitler is not happy about it.

I am a die hard Bills fan and I cant be more thrilled about the TO signing. That being said, Im a little disturbed that both Hitler and myself share a passion...

If you aren't a fan of the team, here's a few things that help when watching the video.

1- Ralph Wilson is the owner and is getting up there in age.
2- TO (Terrell Owens) is an amazing receiver but has been known to be a "cancer" in the locker room.
3- Edwards is the Bills Quarterback
4- Jauron is the Head Coach
5- Russ Brandon is the Bills GM
6- JP Losman was our previous unsuccessful Quarterback
7- James Hardy is number 81 but that is also TOs number and Hardy will give it up
8- The Dolphins are one of the Bills oldest and most hated rivals
9- Wide right is how the Bills lost their first Super Bowl. With hardly any time on the clock, a field goal would have won the game but it went "wide right." This is a sad phrase that is well known amongst the Buffalo faithful.
10- "Get your popcorn ready" is a phrase that TO uses when speaking to both the press and fans before a game

Be warned, there is a little bit of language - but it is Hitler...

Here you go

Assume The Position

This is an amazing season Karen and I are in. God has been quietly loving us into a greater faith. I wrote three years ago that I have spent most of my life outside of the miraculous. That even though I have always wanted to see miracles, I have rarely allowed myself to be in a place where I need them.

Its a wonderful thing to say God is my provider. Its an even greater wonder when you have the opportunity to truly experience it - more on that later.

Lately, when friends ask me how we are doing, I have responded with, "we are poised for a miracle."

Though at times in the last three years I have lost perspective, I believe Karen and I have made good decisions. Decisions that have "poised" us. We have finally assumed the position...

Today, I am encouraged. I think we are are now living in a place where miracles can happen.

Me and the Thunder Sons

These are lyrics for a new song, its a shuffle and I love playing it and cant wait to record it...

I turn my face
To a blazing sun
Your glory falls
Your Kingdom comes

Oh my God You are you are You are
Such a Holy love enough, enough, enough
Oh but still I must have more
Lying here on my kitchen floor
Jesus have your way
Meet me face to face

I pledged my head
To a holy love
Put down my paper picked up my guns
We took the hill
Me and the Thunder sons
We didn't quit till Thy Kingdom Comes

Singing Oh My God You are , You are, You are
Such a holy love, enough, enough, enough
Oh, but still we must have more
Lying here on Your sanctuary floor
Jesus have your way
Meet us face to face

Where Once I Feared To Walk - Lyrics

I recently was asked via email if I could put these lyrics on my blog and tell a little bit about the song. I got the lyrics up a few weeks back. That part was easy as they where already in a word doc on my computer. Now for a little info on the song.

This is the last song on the S&U album and was actually written with that in mind - which is a miracle if you knew the way I process. Actually this song was one of the easiest to write. Most times I fight hard for the lyrics, often witting a small novel before I'm satisfied. But this song just seemed to flow...

We lived in a little house halfway up the 4th fairway on a country golf course 20 miles north of Jackson MS. One night Carver - a good friend - came over to hang out. One of the things I loved to do when it wasn't 95 degrees with 95% humidity, was to go out and walk the golf course. The best time was dusk. Carver and I headed out that night, both of us eager to talk and also smoke the Cohibas my brother had smuggled in through Hatti. Though I'm not a big fan of cigars, there is something special about smoking an illegal cuban with a friend. That nights walk was like so many other walks with friends, we laughed, talked and dreamed of a future even better than the present. We remeniced and could see Gods goodness even in past pains. We were blessed.

Days later, as I scrambled for pen and paper, I recalled that night but this time it wasn't Carver but Jesus who walked beside me. The premise and lyrics for the first half of the song came from the memory of the walk. The second half and the last line "Here's to bigger dreams" came from a conversation with my dad where he quoted CS Lewis saying, "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."

As far as the music, I wrote half of the album on piano. This was one of those songs. I had always written from an acoustic guitar but I wanted to try something different with the S&U album. I wanted melody to drive the songs instead of rhythm - if that makes sense. So even though I couldn't really play the piano - at least not both hands at the same time - I feel like it worked.

And that's how the song came about, Jesus and I walking out at night dreaming about a future even better than the present and reminiscing about His past goodness. And though I was smoking a Cohiba, In my minds eye Jesus seemed more like a pipe kinda guy. I admit, it also might have had something to do with CS Lewis...

Where Once I Feared To Walk

We went walking out in a field, yeah late tonight

Could see our breath each dream exhaled beneath the half moon light

And this is life you said to me, this declared round your pipe

And this is where it all works out, in dreaming we're alive

And I have dreamt… still believe, I have risked and I have lost

But looking down I see my feet where once I feared to walk

So we go walking out in this field to claim our destiny

And if by chance it seems we've failed, then here's to bigger dreams

Part One - The Gass Attendant and 9 Other Reason Not To Go To Bible College

The CO-OP sold everything. A mini Wal-Mart of sorts, they even had a gas station in the parking lot, which is where I got my first job. My dad had driven me there to apply and had assured Bill - the manager - that I was a trustworthy young man. I explained to Bill how I could easily ride my ten-speed to work and so it made "perfect sense" ...and so at the age of 15 for $5.50 an hour Canadian, I became a gas attendant.

I remember this job well; the cold nights where I was forced to either stand outside and freeze or sit in the 5ft by 10ft-heated cubicle with my two pot-smoking co-workers. They were bright fellas for potheads and to my knowledge never got caught smoking while on the job. Of course, this was the North West where people would often welcome neighbors into their community with a marijuana plant. You know, just a quick hello, a friendly welcome and a "feel free to stop by and borrow sugar anytime."

My least favorite part of the job was filling the trucks or vans that ran on propane. Bill taught me quickly and was able to instill a proper respect by a story he told. Apparently a guy he knew had once incorrectly connected the propane nozzle to the tank and the propane leaked all over his hand. His hand was immediately frozen due to the extreme temperature of propane gas and his fingers literally broke off. I don't know if the story was true or if the science would support it, but I was 15, was just learning how to play the guitar and still needed all my fingers.

Bill the manager was anything but patient. This was probably due to the fact that he was a middle-aged man managing pot smoking teenagers pumping gas. He was a frightening guy to work for seeing as he was almost always mad at someone or something and screaming was how he coped. So when the sweet old lady came in to fill up her brand new Cadillac and asked me to top off her oil, I didn't want to bother Bill with silly questions. Such as, "where does the oil go," or "how much is too much?" I had already asked him twice that day if the propane nozzle was hooked up right. Plus he had already shown me where oil goes earlier in the week and was none to happy about it the first time.

I did what any 15 year old would have done, I guessed.

About a half an hour later the sweet old lady was back and she seemed to be having steering problems. "I just don't understand it" she said, "the steering wheel is very hard to turn and it only started happening after I got gas." To which I quickly responded, "It could be bad gas."

One would think that my gas attendant carrier was over before it had even been given a fighting chance. However, four years later, I found myself again being driven by my dad to apply for a job as a gas attendant. This time I lived just south of Rochester NY where I was a freshman attending Bible College.

I went to Bible College. It was not Seminary. I feel I must make this clear as I have since run into many people who seem to take offense at my previously ignorant assumption that they are the same thing. The last thing I want to do is offend the real theology students who attend schools such as Princeton or Bob Jones and are better educated regarding matters of education.

I went to a Bible College and have since come up with at least ten reasons one might consider something else...

Our second semester had just started and my dad was visiting me. I needed to find a job to help pay for tuition and I didn't have a car. So again I found myself being driven by my dad to an interview. The gas station was within walking distance from the college, so it again made perfect sense. Omitting the oil incident, I told the manager about my qualifications and he hired me. And just like that I was back in the game.

In January, in upstate NY, it's dark by 5:00 and below freezing by 5:30. On this - my first night at the job - it was about ten degrees with a wind chill somewhere in the minus ten department. My new co-worker and I were warming up inside our little 5ft by 10ft-heated cubicle (no pot this time) and as the black Volvo pulled up to the pump he asked "is it your turn?" I had filled up the last ten cars and was positive it wasn't my turn, but I just said "no." "You go ahead and get this one anyway." He said. "That way we can be sure you know what you're doing."

Though I had filled several hundred cars with gas by now, my senior co-worker - who was "training" me - apparently thought I still needed more practice. I looked at him just long enough to let him know what we both already knew - he was an idiot - and then headed out into the frozen night, my lungs immediately icing over. The lady in the car rolled her window down an inch and said, "Fill it up please" and then quickly rolled it back up with a look of sympathy.

"This sucks," I thought as I stamped my feet to keep them warm and wiped my nose with the back of my hand, "but God wants me here"... Ok, I'm not certain I thought the second part...ok I probably didn't think the second part; at least not while I was freezing my tail off.

But later, in my bed while talking with God, I knew he wanted me at this Bible College. I knew He had a plan. And it was a huge plan with grand adventures, where I would live a life of significance, a life marked by the miraculous, filled with love and beauty and probably a little fame too.

You see at the age of five kneeling at the coffee table one sunny Tuesday with my mom, I asked Jesus into my heart. And Jesus came into my heart. I believed. And it was then that the promise was birthed. That was the day I first saw it. Just a small glimpse and it was enough. I knew that life was good and there were greater things to come.

When I gave Jesus my life, He promised He would always be with me. Through the years this promise followed me like a lovely ghost. I encountered it in a song, in a book. I dreamed it. I watched it in a movie; I heard it from the pulpit. It was a gradual unwinding, a realization of who God is, that He lived in me and that He is good. He is always good.

Also, as I read my Bible, I realized that God being in you means a life of adventure; a life marked by the miraculous.

You see, I believe that if you have made Jesus Lord of your life, then you have a promise. Even if you haven't, you still have a promise, you just have yet to embrace the promise giver. I believe the promise is there, waiting for us in the womb, salvation is just an introduction to living it. I believe this promise is unique to every individual, is discovered in our dreams and lives in our hearts. It's the thing that most excites us and oddly most terrifies us as well. It's what we were born for.

I have heard the promise referred to as a destiny or a purpose. That's fine. I believe it's those things. But I like the word promise so much more. It implies that I'm not the only one involved in its fulfillment. It suggests that there is more to it than hard work and chance. It hints at relationship...

So on that desperately cold night, while pumping gas in Western NY in order that I might earn enough money to afford a Bible College education that couldn't later be compared to a Seminary education - and while my nose was running and my feet were numbing - I knew I had a promise. And at the time, I couldn't possibly imagine it looked like pumping gas...

And so if you had asked me about my life then, I would have said "this is not my promise" and therefore I will only be pumping gas (#1) for a short season.

I was right, at least about how long I would be pumping gas.

As the years passed I waited tables (#2), delivered pizzas (#3) and played in a band (#4). I worked on an assembly line (#5). I was a painter (#6), a worship leader (#7), a mason (#8) and a carpenter (#9). I installed siding, windows and doors (#10). I crawled under houses and stood on chimney tops. I worked in freezing lake effect cold and suffocating Mississippi heat.

And there you have it; ten perfectly "sane" reasons not to go to Bible College...or...

The question that has burned in me over the years causing considerable heartache and a yearning that's bordered insanity is, "How do I attain my promise"? How many cars must I fill up? How many times must I wipe my nose? How long before I see the promise fulfilled?

You see I was born for greatness! I'm sure of it; I can feel it every time Jesus tells me He loves me. Every God encounter I have had confirms it. Its revealed in every Bible story I've read; God loves taking nobodies and making them into somebodies. Yet as the days turned to months and the months to years, my promise often weighed heavy and that lovely ghost began to haunt me. "How long have I chased the promise? How much longer must I chase it?"

Then, several years ago, God and I had a profound conversation. Late one night after my wife Karen and the kids were in bed, God asked me a question. "Do you trust me?" I thought for a moment, finally I said "Yes Lord." He responded, "Then believe."

From that point on, my perspective on life has undergone a radical shifting, as though I have come awake for the first time. All that I encountered over the first ten years of my adult life, including the jobs I just mentioned, were experienced while in pursuit of my promise. Yet since that conversation with God, I have begun to live in the revelation that I was not born into His Kingdom to chase the promise but to chase the promise giver. I've learned in regards to my promise that when the question in life shifts from how long must I chase my promise to how big will I believe, the focus shifts as well.

As I've begun to engage this revelation, I've begun to see the world through the eyes of God. The more I've lived in this revelation the more I've found that His purpose and mine are becoming one and the same. As I choose to believe, I find I am no longer chasing an ever-elusive promise but engaging it. I'm no longer waiting for my story to begin; I'm smack in the middle of it.

We all have a life story. So does God.

In the beginning God dreamed. A world became. A love story began. Since the beginning of this story, the All-Powerful Creator of the Heavens and the Earth has pursued mankind, has loved us, died for us and invited us to live within the context of His love. Since the beginning of the story, God has purposed man to rule and reign with Him over the earth. And since the beginning of the story, there has been one question that God has asked of us. It's echoed down the corridors of history.

His Story. Our Story

The question?

Will you believe?

How big, how wide, how far, how great will you believe?

I'm convinced that the answer to that question is what this journey called life is all about. That a life of purpose and fulfilled destiny; a life of engaged promise, is found when we posses believing.