“I love you Lord and I lift my voice
To worship You, oh my soul rejoice
Take joy my King in what You hear
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.”
I couldn’t stop singing the last two lines…
This morning I woke up feeling heavy. As soon as my eyes opened, I was thinking about all that had to be done and the needs of my family and the needs of the business, but mostly I thought about the language barrier between God and me.
Its not that He isn’t around, I can feel Him, but when He speaks, He isn’t speaking in a language I understand… and He started doing it almost a year ago.
Eva corrects my singing, “No daddy… B. I. N.E O.! and binno was his name-o.” So I change my melody and words and we sing “B.I.N.E.O. I’m all right replacing the G with an E…
We arrived at “city town” and while Eva pointed out all the red ocitons - stop signs - I began to think about the importance of listening even when I cant understand.
Eva says “Daddy, I aff a secret, lets go a mdonals” I smile. She is so beautiful; it makes me ache with the goodness. She would like to go to McDonalds with her Daddy and have it be our secret. What makes it even sweeter is she cant keep a secret…
I can feel God speaking to me; I just can’t make it out. And I know He is with me. I know it like I know Oreo's are better with milk or like I know BA really did like Murdock - he just pretended he didn’t. Its just one of those things I know.
But if you can’t understand God and you used to be fluent in “God,” you sure can get discombobulated. And so, I have learned in the last year that it’s very important to have good sources - friends, family, the bible, Godly teachers. And also, I have learned that you have to know what you believe and then live it regardless…
“Lets go eat,” I say to Eva after finishing my errands. We don’t stop at McDonald's but we do stop at Phat Burrito which is one of the best eats in “city town.” I tell Eva the name of the restaurant while we wait in line. I tell her again while we get soda. I share my quesadilla and as Eva eats hers she says “Daddy, what’s this?” And then “Fat bummito.” I smile. “That’s right hun, it’s a fat bummito.”
When God first started speaking to me in a new language, I spent months offended. Then months repenting, then months giving Him everything. None of this changed His mind, He still continues to be obstinate...
As we head home from "city town," I think out loud. "I would love it if You would speak to me so I can understand. I really miss our conversations." Then Eva says “Daddy, I see a ociton,” and I smile again.
When you love someone, you learn to speak their language.
Eva has her own language and I've become fluent.
This thought crosses my mind. “If God is speaking and you can’t understand Him, its time to learn a new language.”
"Lord Jesus," I sing.
“Take joy my King in what You hear.
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.”
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