Friday, August 7, 2009

The Ants Go Marching

My brother is a genius...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Look Up & Let Go

Grand Central Station. Spring of 1993 - late afternoon…

“I’m here” I thought to myself.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag.”

I was beginning my new life as an adult! After a 16-hour Greyhound bus ride, Id arrived to meet my new employer in the greatest city in world history. At least, that’s what I’ve been told by New Yorkers since. I had been hired to be a roadie for one of the worlds greatest trumpet players ever, at least that’s what I’ve been told Doc Severinson said - Trumpeter for the Johnny Carson show.

The station felt dirty… “Well not really dirty, just old,” I thought as I headed out to the street.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag”

I had twenty-nine dollars and thirty-one cents in my pocket. I had started out with thirty but had bought a Recess Peanut butter Cup at one of the stops. It had been a nice touch to the apple and peanut butter and jelly sandwich my mom had packed for me.

My folks didn’t have any money and this was before credit card debt was a way of life, so I had just enough to buy the twenty dollar ticket back to Rochester NY if my ride didn’t show.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag…”

Everyone was heading up and out. I joined the flow and stepped out onto Park Ave. I was 18 years old and had never been alone in a city of any size.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag.”

The fear was real but contained.

I found a pay phone and instead of using more of my precious capital, I called my parents collect. “I’m here.” Moms first question was “Is an adult there to pick you up?” “No mom, but I think I will try to hail a cab and go to the hotel and see if I can find them.” I said bravely.

My mom had wanted me to immediately buy a return ticket and catch the next Greyhound home. But that would have ended my new life. This was NYC and I wasn’t ready to call it quits and get back on a bus for home.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag…”

"Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag." That was the last piece of advice my Dad said in my ear as he hugged me goodbye. I clutched my bag and kept my eyes forward, determined not to look up, determined to hail a cab, determined to get myself to my new employers Hotel - the Marriott Marquis right on Times Square. The map my dad and I had looked at before I left showed the Hotel to be only four blocks from Grand Central Station, so this was do-able.

The street was filled bumper to bumper with yellow cabs. I had only the movies as a reference. I worked up the nerve and started toward the street timidly waiving my arm. No cabs stopped. There is nothing timid about NYC. While I stood there contemplating my next move, I noticed I was looking up…

When I brought my focus back to street level, I was startled to discover an older fella had invaded my personal space. He was maybe in his mid 40s. His hair was wiry and mostly grey, he had a distinct unpleasant body odor but what most stood out was the patchwork of bandages that lined the insides of both arms.

“Where are you going?” He asked. He was missing a front tooth.

I nodded, “I’m fine sir, thanks.”

He leaned closer, “Need a cab?”

I just wanted him to go away. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Where are you going” he asked bluntly.

I shouldn’t have looked up I thought and then, because of my good upbringing, I answered the question. “ I am staying at the Marriott Marquis on Times Square.”

“I know where that is - it’s close. You don’t need a cab. Five bucks and I’ll take you there.”

Before I could agree he snatched my bag out of my hand and started across the street.” “Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag,” I thought one last time as I followed the man who had taken my bag. I began praying fervently. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”

“Once upon a time…” I followed a guy through the streets of NY, was yelled at by a couple fellas, cursed at by another fella I bumped into, taken to the wrong hotel, told it was the right hotel, cursed at again - this time by a cabbie - and finally delivered to the correct Hotel where eventually I met a mythic trumpet player and his crew, was led through the bowels of Madison Square Gardens while the National Democratic Convention for Bill Clinton was winding down, witnessed the gay pride parade and then flown off in a personal King Air to begin my grand adventure as an adult.

This was the beginning of my journey into adulthood and also the beginning of a spiritual journal. One in which I have had to learn just the opposite of my dads directions – Keep your eyes up and let go of your bags. Or, Look up, let go.

Once upon a time I looked up and let go... And as Robert Frost - the greatest poet ever known to mankind, at least that's what my 11th grade English teacher said - once wrote "that has made all the difference."

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Kingdom Come

Taken from Matt 13:46

There was a fella who knew of a treasure that was buried in a field. This treasure was greater than any treasure any mind could conceive. It was beyond imagination. The treasures name was Truth. This fella was so excited about the treasure that he sold everything he owned - right down to the clothes on his back. He gave all that he was and all that he had and naked he went to his field. He began to dig. And there he found his treasure and it was a Kingdom. It was a greater Kingdom than I can describe but I will try nonetheless.

This Kingdom was built on love. The King himself was love. The Kingdoms greatest power was found in joy, which was engaged through believing. Everything about the Kingdom was good. There was no evil in the Kingdom, not even a single drop - not a sliver. There was no sickness or sadness in this Kingdom and because this Kingdom was founded on love, all sorrow was redeemed and restored to joy. In this kingdom all things always worked to good.

And amazingly, this fella, the one who went digging in the nude, well, he became an heir and citizen in this kingdom. In essence, he was reborn and became a new creation taking on the very nature of His King - love. He was given new clothes and they fit him like a glove. These clothes were righteous and this fella was marvelous to behold because he had the love of His King in Him. Because of love, this fella had access to every part of this kingdom.

This Kingdom had a creed. It was known as the good news. The King spoke it often and the fella’s heart leaped with joy to hear it! It went like this “Thy Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.” This next part may seem odd but it is truly astounding – the moment this fella received the love of his King he found that his field was now apart of the Kingdom. In fact wherever he stepped the King and His Kingdom went with him. And then he realized that this is why he existed – to know the Kings love and to establish his Kingdom…

Ok, I know what your thinking, your thinking I haven’t done this Kingdom justice. I know I haven’t, but in all fairness, I only learned how to write about 30 years ago. I do have several more pages to give it a go and I plan on writing about it for at least another 50 years. So bear with me…

At the age of five, around the time I began learning how to write, I found my treasure. I gave Jesus all of me and I asked him into my heart. At that moment, I became an heir of the King and I gained citizenship to the same Kingdom I just described. Since then I have been discovering just how amazing this King and His Kingdom is. Since then, I have been discovering what it means to be an heir of the King and citizen of His Kingdom.

Some refer to this moment in a person’s life as “salvation.” Yep, that’s a good word for it. But it’s not just a moment. Since the age of five, I have been learning that Salvation is the most beautiful of life’s miracles. I once was dead, now I’m alive! I once was clothed in self-centered ignorance, I’m now clothed in love and righteousness. I once was a citizen of a fallen Kingdom, I now am a citizen of Heaven. What makes the miracle of salvation so much more amazing is the fact that it doesn’t end there. Our salvation is not the end of our story; it’s the beginning of a new one.

If I may put it this way, after saying yes to Jesus, salvation is not only the answer, it’s the question. The question, “how shall we now live?” Most of my life I have understood salvation as an assurance of heaven after I die. Well, yes, that’s true, but there’s so much more. You see, I am saved to bring heaven to earth while I’m alive.

Just like that fella who bought the field, I have met the King and taken on His identity as my own. I have become love and because of this love, I have His creed burned on my heart… “Thy Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.”

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

No Condemnation

Jesus was walking into Jericho when he sees the little man in a sycamore tree. “Zacchaeus come on down. I’m going to your house for dinner,” Jesus says.

The Bible tells us that Zacchaeus was a bad man and he was also short - no relation. He stole from and cheated the people of Jericho. They didn’t like him. Then he meets with Jesus and it turned out like every God encounter I have ever had. It goes something like this...

Jesus comes, honors me by meeting with me. He doesn’t bring up my past, my weakness or failures. There is no condemnation, shame, or guilt. Instead, when I find myself in his presence, I am simply humbled by his love for me. Yes I am aware of who I was but I am infinitely more aware of who He is, that He dwells in me and my heart is challenged to be holy as He is holy.

After Zacchaeus met with Jesus, Zacchaeus gave half of what he owned to the poor and returned to those he stole from four times over the amount taken. Jesus didn’t ask him to do this. Jesus didn’t even raise his eyebrow and give Zacchaeus the universal mom look that says “you know what you need to do.” The Bible doesn’t always give inflection but I’m pretty sure that Jesus didn’t say “I must eat at your house today” with sarcasm and eyerolling. If there was emphasis on the “must,” it was enthusiasm!

I have heard this story since I was a child and I sang the cute litte ditty about Zacchaeus being “a wee little man and a wee little man was he” …ok, sometimes I still sing it… But as a kid without any sense of economics, I thought nothing of the fact that Zacchaeus gave away half his worth. It seemed pretty natural to just give up more than half of what you had cause Jesus was nice.

As an adult who likes to eat and sleep indoors and who has a wife and kids who also like to eat and sleep indoors, and who has to pay for it himself, I know Zacchaeus’ generosity wasn’t inspired just because Jesus was nice. Nice is nice, but “nice” doesn’t have the power to inspire this kind of generosity. This wasn’t just about Jesus being nice. This was about Zacchaeus experiencing the revelation of Jesus’ love. This was about Zacchaeus experiencing unmerited grace and mercy. He got saved.

As you already know, you can’t go on as you did, once Jesus’ love is encountered. Zacchaeus’ response to Jesus was birthed from love. Love is what pricks a conscience or convicts us. Mercy and grace received, births generosity.

There is a difference between conviction and condemnation. One is holy the other is evil. One brings life, the other death. When I meet with Jesus I never come away feeling condemnation. That’s not how he operates. It is actually counter to his nature.

If somehow you are experiencing shame or condemnation when you meet with God I would like to suggest that you didn’t get it from him. It was probably there before you met with him and instead of giving it to Him, you took it away with you…

Jesus died for me, and for you. He took all our shame, all our guilt and all condemnation. Once we enter into his love we have no right to take it back. Let me make this clear, we as believers no longer have any right to feel shame, condemnation or guilt. The Bible says, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom 8:1) To accept condemnation actually belittles what Jesus did on the cross. He died so that we no longer have to live under condemnation.

I know this sounds like a tall order but it’s really just a perspective change. It’s a revelation we need to posses. If I miss God, if I sin, then I repent – change the way I think. I don’t take on guilt, condemnation or shame.

Its not that I am saying I am unaware of who I am without Jesus. Without Jesus I am guilty. I have never come away from a reflection of my guilt better off than when I started. It's crazy to me that people want to get to know themselves better. Why? What good would that do? I want to know what God thinks about me. I want to see myself through His eyes. Cause through Gods eyes Zacchaeus was capable of giving more than half of what he owned away. Cause through Gods eyes, I am capable of living the “greater works than these lifestyle. And that’s what I signed up for.

Here is the thing, when you see through Gods eyes you become capable of all the things that condemnation says you aren’t.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Furious Longing Of God

I remember the first time I read Brennan Manning. My dad had been talking non-stop about this new book “The Ragamuffin Gospel.” We were all - my brothers and sister, Karen and I - over at my parents for a holiday weekend. “You need to get this book, he said, around the dinner table that first night.” “It is changing everything I understand about grace.” And then very much like my dad, the next night he was handing out a copy to each of us. I have learned that if dad likes a book, I don’t have to buy it myself – eventually, on my birthday, Christmas, or just because – dad will go out and buy it for me.

The other thing I have learned – since I’m no longer a teen and therefore I know that I don’t know everything – is that when dad gives me a book, I should read it instantly.

The “Ragamuffin Gospel” was a life changer and since that time Brennan has been one of my favorite authors. His books can be found scattered throughout my house. There is a copy of “The Signature of Jesus” in my office. “Ruthless Trust” sits on a shelf in our family room and several copies of “Ragamuffin” can be found wherever books gather. And they do gather from time to time - This is the pile we want to lend to Mary and that’s the pile we want to give to Karen’s mom and so on.

Recently I received a copy of Brennan’s new book “The Furious Longing Of God.” After reading it, I felt like I had sat with Brennan in his living room while he just shared life. I have never met Brennan or heard him speak but I imagine it must feel a bit like this book - very personable, real, a walking out revelation of love and grace that makes you just want to know Jesus more. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about this book – looks like I get to buy dad a copy this time…

One other fun part about reading this book for me was that when I opened it, I realized that the fella that wrote the forward is someone I have the privilege of working with on another project. And then, when halfway through the read; I realized that I also had the honor of working with the fella that edited the book as well.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

One Reason Why I Write…

At the age of eighteen having already been a King for more than half his life, Josiah sent his man, Azaliah, along with a clean up crew into the temple to tidy the place up. Israel was at this point a pagan nation. They had fallen away from God and for several hundred years, they had served other Gods. They did “evil in the sight of God.” They had sex temples and altars where they could sacrifice their children – these were among the evils they committed. So yeah, it was pretty bad…

“King Josiah, while we were cleaning up we found this “book.” After Hilkiah (the High Priest) blew off the dust he read a bit of it and you wouldn’t believe this but it appears to be "the book!” Azaliah stood before His King offering him "the book." (2 Kings 22-23)

You know why I write? Why I try to blog? Yes, it is one of the ways I process, clarify, resolve and receive revelation - but mostly I write for Maddy, Ethan and Eva. I write for my kids kids and their kids as well. I want to write them a legacy of the goodness of God. I want to write them a story about the love of God. I want to build them a foundation upon which they can know love and in turn love. I want to write prophetically in the timeless voice of God “you have a great destiny, a holy purpose.” I want to write that they would know who they are and because of that knowledge, they would radically impact the world they live in.

Three hundred and twenty years before King Josiah found the book there was a prophet by the name of Jeroboam. Jeroboam prophesied to this nation about a coming King who would destroy the evil altars that Israel had set up. This King would restore the nation back to God. He even prophesied this Kings name. “He cried out against the altar by the word of the LORD : "O altar, altar! This is what the LORD says: 'A son named Josiah will be born to the house of David. On you he will sacrifice the priests of the high places who now make offerings here, and human bones will be burned on you." (1 Kings 13:2)

When Josiah’s clean up crew found “the book,” Josiah had it read aloud in its entirety. Can you imagine what happened in his heart when he heard his named mentioned? Can you imagine what kind of impact that had on him?

If you don’t know the story of King Josiah, he went on from this discovery to completely destroy every trace of evil upon the land. He was zealous in his pursuit of the promise he received. He was intent upon fulfilling what God gave him to do. 2 Kings 23:25 says “Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the LORD as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength…”

That seems like a pretty good reason to write eh?

Thank you Kris Vallotton - Kris is a pastor at Bethel in Redding CA. He spoke this word a few years back at a writting conference and it impacted me greatly.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ready For My Own Bed


I am ready for my own bed with no kids in it. We are rounding out an 8 day trip to Western NY. The kids have been awesome and very interested in seeing all the places where dad and mom first fell in love. We have also eaten at almost all the places where dad and mom first fell in love.

We had a great time driving up through DC. We spent the night at my brothers house and the next day while on our way to Starbucks we stopped by the White House. There was a protest for the Camels - or maybe it was the Tamils. At one point Maddy said "these protesters are ruining our field trip." While Karen explained that the protesters where actually a great example of what the White House represented - freedom of speech and all - Ethan and I tried to figure out what happened to the Camels. Actually Ethan wondered about the Camels, I wondered about the Tamils. I have since learned they are a persecuted people group in India.

The weather in Western NY is supposed to be beautiful this time of year. Though it started out nice, its been hot and muggy since we arrived at Elim.

My hero is here - Bill Johnson. He has been doing heroic things. Its been fun to watch my spiritual mentor meet with my spiritual heritage.

Though I haven't had much time to write I have been processing and receiving much. I hope to write a bit here in the coming weeks. In the meantime here is a few pictures of the trip.