"The Lawn Mower Incident"

A few years ago I turned thirty and began to have an awful realization. I still fight it, but not with as much blind rage as I used to. My realization was this, “I may not be invincible.” This thought first entered my consciousness after what is now referred to as “The lawn mower incident.”

One hot Mississippi Saturday, I went out to mow the lawn. The lawn mower was giving me fits and so I began to pull the cord with the recklessness of youth… and I pulled my arm out of its socket. I immediately fell to the driveway and began rolling around in agony. No matter how I squirmed I couldn’t get my arm to go back into its socket. Grunting and gasping I could only think of one thing, Mel Gibson and the Lethal Weapon movies. In those movies, Mel Gibson’s character was constantly pulling his arm out of socket and it was humorous and very entertaining. However I remembered that in one of the movies, he put his arm back in its socket by slamming his shoulder against a wall.

With that memory as my only reference for solving a dislocated arm, I half crawled, half rolled over to the open garage door. Panting and sweating with the pain, I crawled up the door frame. Then in between the gasping of “God help me” and “crap.” I slammed my arm against the door frame. There was an excruciating pain as my arm popped back into its socket. Then an exhaled string of “Thank you Lords” as I leaned against the door frame thinking, it wasn’t that humorous or entertaining after all. I decided to go into the house; the lawn mower one, Jason nothing.

As I turned, I saw my neighbor standing in his driveway looking at me with a mix of sympathy and …a smile! I smiled sickly back at him realizing that apparently it’s humorous and entertaining only if it’s happening to someone else. Then I waved with my good arm and said, “Hi Sam,” mumbled something about it being a beautiful day and went inside thinking to myself “is this what happens when you get old” and also “Sam’s an ass.”

The Returning Misionary

I found a few old articles I had written several years ago for a Missions Outfitter online magazine mail out. They had been written fresh off a mission trip to the Philippines and I thought they were pretty good. I enjoyed reading what God was revealing to my heart at that time regarding the connection between worship and missions. So... I thought I would post them here...

The Returning Missionary

“All of history is moving toward one great goal, the hot white worship of God and His Son among all the people’s of the earth. Missions is not that goal. It is the means. And for that reason it is the second greatest activity in the world.” (John Piper, Let the nations be glad) Worship is the first. We were born to worship our Savior. We were created to live lives devoted to the glory of God. Worship is a life style.

God’s heart is to see His glory mirrored in His bride, His presence displayed in the lives of His people. We were made to have hearts devoted to worship, and lives devoted for service. “Missions begins and ends with worship”(Piper). The great commission is a response to the heart of God. Where there is a passion to worship God, there will be a zeal for missions. If the church is to successfully declare God’s glory among the nations, it must first set its heart toward worship.

Worship is ultimately an act of surrender in response to a revelation of who God is. “The only thing that elicits true worship is a greater revelation of God Himself”…(Sylvia Evans) this worship is acted on by serving the heart of God. Surrender and service go hand in hand, a true worship lifestyle requires both. A worship lifestyle looks like missions.

I believe, and have personally experienced that Worship teams and leaders, through participating in missions can not only have global influence and experience personal growth. But the impact they can have upon returning can be equally, if not more profound within their local church.

As is often the case, short-term missions act as a catalyst. Providing an atmosphere of absolute dependence on God while in the field, the short-term missionary comes home having experienced a revolution of the heart, mind and soul. The way they talk, the way they think, and what they feel changes. They stepped out of their comfort zone, were stretched and grew. Responding in faith, they experienced a greater revelation of God.

I’m convinced the key to revival is found in the heart of a missionary. As a whole, the church has yet to fully access that heart. What thrills me about a returning worship team is that they already have a place to plug in. The body can benefit immediately from what the team has experienced.

As a lead worshipper, I am constantly encouraging the team to seek a greater revelation of God, to pursue a passionate hunger to know God, to glorify Him, and to experience His Majesty. I know that a worship team truly worshipping God inspires the body to enter in. Yet, we can’t take people where we haven’t been. Therefore we must be hungry, and experienced in filling that void.

I would encourage any worship leader to take their team on a short-term mission trip. An opportunity to serve together is another important way to worship together, and out of giving you will receive. The worship time spent in preparation is essential, the worship time spent on the ground, life changing. The worship time spent upon return is invaluable to the body. Life giving. The returning worship team having experienced a “greater revelation of God” will act as a catalyst inspiring a deeper worship within the body. In essence, revival!!

The Open Table

Just wanted to note that Donald Millers "The Open Table" was released on Friday of last week. Switchvert produced the DVD for this book/workbook. They did a great job.

I would also like to note that the DVD features one of my songs form the Surrendered & Untamed Album (Dreams, Visions & Revelation).

Check out the promo.

Chapter Four, Part 5 - Several Months Later

On a Saturday morning our kids came into the room and got in bed with us. After the customary "good mornings" and "how did you sleep" and while the kids scratched my back, Maddy told a story about a friend of hers that had a puppy.

As a parent of children without a puppy this is dangerous territory. This subject has to be handled with "kit gloves." But before I can say anything to defuse the situation, Karen says, "it would be fun to get a puppy!" That's all it took. Maddy heard a positive comment about a dog and the little fire we had spent years squelching, immediately ignited into a raging inferno. "We should get one! I want a puppy so bad" she said. Ethan chimed in. "Me too, it would be amazing!" I looked at Karen incredulously and then gave her the evil eye. She smiled.

The rest of the morning was spent discussing all the reasons we couldn't get a dog right now. As I get out of bed I say, "Your sister Eva is too little" Maddy says, "She's almost two." As I brushed my teeth I say, "We don't have a fence." Maddy says, "I will walk him every day, three times a day!" "Yeah, me too!" Ethan joins in. As I put my shoes on to go for my morning run I say, "What about the poop, who's gonna pick it up." I got them now. I think to myself. Maddy doesn't even hesitate, "We will of course!"

When I get back from my run Maddy and Ethan meet me at the front porch and as I stretch, Maddy begins explaining how they could get a bucket and a shovel and how her friend has a dog and they pick up the poop with bags. When I get out of the shower and get dressed, Maddy and Ethan meet me at the top of the stairs with pictures they had drawn while I was in the shower of them playing with the "beautiful puppy" as stated in the pictures.

"What's this one?" I ask Ethan. "In that picture I am wrestling with the puppy. " he says. "And this one?" I ask as I take the second offering out of his hands. "In that picture I am sleeping with the puppy... I finally make it out the door for a meeting. But before I leave, I look at Karen and with as much accusation as I can muster I say, "You started this!" She smiles.

What I find when I get home blows my mind. Karen is on the computer; the kids are hovering around her. As soon as I walk into the room and they see me, the kids start yelling, "dad come see, come see! It's the most cutest puppy ever.

"Seriously!" I say to Karen. She smiles.

We grilled that night. Two beautiful rib eyes for Karen and I, and pan steak for the kids. They were eating too much of my rib eye and they really can't tell the difference. Hey, don't judge me, I didn't even get cheap steak as a kid. I ate baked leather and was grateful.
Anyway, while preparing the rib eyes, the pan steak and the grilled potatoes... the kids continued their assault. I tried a new angle. Do you have money for a puppy? Without hesitation Maddy says, "I would give up my birthday present." Ethan says "yeah, me too" but not quite as enthusiastically. "What about Christmas and next years birthdays as well," I ask. "Absolutely! We'll do it!" Maddy says. "Whoa Maddy" says Ethan. That's a lot of presents. But Maddy is not to be denied and she eventually talks him into it.

Finally its bedtime, I sit at the foot of Maddy's bed while she scratches my head. I tell them a story about how one time when I was younger, I went on a treasure hunt and had to go into a cave to get a golden statue. And how the cave was booby trapped with poisonous arrows that shot out of the cave walls. And how there was a huge pit that I had to use my whip to swing across. And how after I got the statue, the place started to cave in and a huge perfectly round boulder almost flattened me as I barely escaped the cave...

After my story, I prayed for both of them. Maddy wanted to bring up the puppy again but I pulled the oldest trick in the parenting handbook. "I don't want to talk about it anymore until I have discussed it with your mom." I said. Then I herded Ethan into his bedroom to say good night.

When I got there he didn't want to talk about the story or even wrestle. He just wanted to discuss the puppy. I was planning on using the same tactic I had used with Maddy when God spoke to my heart.

What He said was so beautiful I choked up. He asked, "How much do I love you?

I was kneeling by Ethan's bed and I said to Ethan "Hey buddy" "yes dad." Let me ask you a serious question. "Yes dad" "How much do you think God loves you?

He paused, "I don't know," he said. I asked another question. "Do you think God wants you to have a puppy?" He looked at me and his eyes lit up. Then he got serious and again said. "I don't know." So I said, "I'll tell you what, "I want you to pray and ask God whether we should get a puppy. We will do whatever God tells you."

I could barely control myself emotionally as I said this to him. I already knew Gods answer. You see, He loves my son with a love that rivals His love for me. I kissed Ethan on the forehead and said, " I want you to really talk with God and hear what He says. When you have heard from Him, come tell me." Ethan looked at me, scrunched his brow and in a reverent tone said, "Ok dad."

About thirty minutes later He walked downstairs. "Dad?" "Yes" I said. "I think God wants us to get a puppy." I nearly started crying again. My son and God were talking! "Are you sure?" I asked. "I think so." Ethan said. "Well, I think so too but I want you to be sure. The Bible says that God gives us the desires of our heart, so go pray some more until you are sure." Another half an hour passed and he came down again and this time he was grinning ear to ear. "I'm sure!" he said. "Me too. Lets get a puppy!"

As Ethan headed back up to bed, Karen came into the room and asked, "What was that about." "Oh, we are getting a puppy." I said. Karen looked at me and said, "I have had some time to think about it, I'm really not sure we should get one right now." I just smiled...

Chapter Four, Part 4 - Chinese Food and Learning How to Pray

Tuesday or Wednesday night is Chinese food night at my house. Karen calls and orders our favorite, chicken and broccoli with added green beans and hot and sour soup. Then Maddy, Ethan and I go pick it up. The Chinese takeout is next to the Food Lion, a local grocery store. So first we go into the store to buy a bottle of Coke. This is special because we aren't allowed to have it in the house at any other time except when people bring it over for a BBQ. When that happens I hide it in the fridge and hope they forget to take it home with them when they leave.

While we are in the grocery store, Maddy says what she always says when her and I are in a grocery store. "Remember your first rule of shopping dad." I say "yeah, I think so...what is it again." She says, "Always check the chip isle for sales." "Right" I say and off we go to the chip isle.

After discussing both the positives and negatives of the chip options, those that are on sale, we come to a consensus's. A bag of barbeque kettle potato chips for Maddy and Ranch Doritos for Ethan and me... and of course the Coke. We mustn't forget the Coke.
After being begged for Krispy Kream donuts and very rarely giving in, we buy our junk food, which has an aptly named junk food drawer waiting at home. I think Karen hoped that if she named it junk food it would cause us to think twice before eating the food stored there. Unfortunately, it's done the opposite, now I know where to find the junk food and when it needs to be re-stocked. Finally we head over to the Chinese take out restaurant.

This day was different however, this day we were met outside the restaurant by a middle-aged lady. "Sir if I could ask you a question." "Yeah." I said, "My car ran out of gas just up the road and I need five dollars to get some gas, do you have five dollars you could give me?" She asked. "Well I don't have any cash on me but I would be glad to drive you over to the gas station and buy you some gas with my debit card, just let me go in and grab our take out and Ill be right out." She thanked me and said she would wait.

When we got back outside the lady was nowhere in sight. We looked through the parking lot and when we couldn't find her we headed home, my kids peppering me with questions.

"Where did she go?" and "Do you think she really needed gas?" I couldn't answer any of the questions but one thing I was certain of. The lady needed help. So I told my kids we could pray for her. While driving home Maddy prayed, " Lord help that lady to stay warm and dry. Help her to find gas. Help her to know you. Help her to etc... thank you lord." Ethan was quiet.

Now I had been trying to get Ethan to pray for months but he was shy, embarrassed and simply didn't seem to want to. I was facing a parent's conundrum. I wanted my son to learn how to pray but wasn't certain how to make it happen.

Looking in my rear view mirror I began coaching him with sincere enthusiasm. Ethan what can you pray for? "I don't know" he says. "Well she wanted money for gas, you could pray for that. Go ahead..." I said. I waited thirty seconds, then a minute. Silence. I looked in the rear view mirror and watched him scrunch up his face. Go ahead buddy, I said again. "I don't know how. " He finally said.
Well, that wasn't true. This wasn't our first rodeo. He had heard Mom and Dad pray thousands of times, plus I had spent countless nights before bedtime teaching him how to pray. I was running out of patience and starting to get frustrated.

I tried another angle, "Ethan if you were outside right now and didn't have a warm jacket, would you be cold?" "Yes" he said. "Would you want someone to help you?" "Yes" he said. "Well we couldn't find her to help her personally but we know God can help her don't we?" "Yes" "Well, then lets pray and ask God to help her." "I don't know how."

By now we had pulled into our driveway and I had decided that my son and I were going to wrestle this thing out. "Maddy, take the food inside, we will be in shortly. Ethan come up front and sit here with me" I said. Maddy left and then I said, "Ethan, Daddy is gonna teach you how to pray and you are gonna pray. Ok?" Ethan looked at me and knew I was serious. I said, "I am going to say the words and you are going to repeat them." So I prayed for the lady and he repeated after me.

"This isn't what I wanted," I thought. I want him to want to talk with God. I want him to hear God and experience Him. When we were done I let him know that what he did wasn't the kind of praying I wanted him to learn. That what he did was simply about obedience, which is good because that's important too. Then I again told him that prayer was a personal conversation with God. That my heart is that he can talk to God just like Daddy does. That he would know the love of God through his own personal relationship.

We got out of the mini van and hugged. I told him I loved him and was proud of him. We headed in for Chinese and Coke. And in my heart I was praying that God would reveal to me how to teach my son to pray. That he would know Gods love first hand...

Chapter Four, Part 3 - LAX Cont...

Do you know who wrote the Gospel of John? It's not a trick question. John wrote it. See. Do you know that three times in the gospel of John, he refers to himself in third person? Each time, he refers to himself, as "the one Jesus loved." The "ONE" Jesus loved. It astounds me that John refers to himself in this way because basically what he was saying is "Jesus loves me best."

Somehow John's relationship with Jesus nurtured the most profound revelation that a man/woman can ever posses. To know Jesus in such a way that you could say of yourself "I am the one Jesus loves" is my truest hearts desire. I think this revelation is the foundational truth that every human being was created to posses. And it is available to those who believe!

So there I was in Terminal Two at LAX, standing in a line with hundreds of people, thousands more passing through the place over the course of minutes. I'm on my way to a country that is elbow to elbow and God says, "I was there when that paper cut happened and I felt it and it is noteworthy."

He loves us so much that He knows and cares even about the paper cut?

A mind really can't grasp this. In fact, this could actually offend a mind. But I beg you to decide to believe it; to not allow His love be a stumbling block.

I understand that in such a messed up world, it's hard to accept that His love for us is absolute and pure, that He cares even about the paper cut, that all He is and all He has for us is good, but it's true. You are His favorite. He "loves you best."

Treat your waiter kindly…or else…

Ok, I was writing today and couldn't seem to make any headway... sometimes when I run up against a wall, I will just start writing from memories. The other day I was retelling a memory from my waiting table days. So I thought I would put it down on paper... er word, ahh blog... I haven't come up with a biblical application for this story yet (not for lack of trying) but figure I can share it here anyway.

This is one of those moments in my life where I should probably be embarrassed by my behavior but instead feel gleeful and satisfied.

"Hey, dude, there is something wrong with the ketchup. It tastes weird." They were my last table for the night. I had worked the lunch shift and the dinner, I was tired and ready to finish my side work and go home. I could see that the four college students (two girls and two guys) had poured the ketchup all over their cheese fries. "I'm sorry" I said. Let me get you some new fries and a new bottle of ketchup. I started to pick up the plate of fries when one of the guys said. "Try one and see what I mean."

I didn't want to try their French fries. "That's alright," I said. I will just get you some new fries. Then one of the girls said, "Maybe its just us. Try one."

I was tired, I wasn't on my game. I tried one. Its tasted fine and I said so. Then I told them I would go and order them some new cheese fries.

After dropping off the new fries the bartender called me over. My table of four college students was directly across from the bar. The bar tender, who had seen the whole thing said, "Dude as soon as you walked away from the table, they started laughing and it was pretty clear that they had put something disgusting in the ketchup you ate.

When he said this I felt dizzy with anger. I walked away from the bar furious at my own stupidity and at the fact that I was waiting on assholes. What could it have been. My mind came up with several disgusting options. The more I thought about it the more disgusted and angry I became.

I was burnt out and reminded of a conversation I had had with my best friend Eric who waited at another restaurant. Eric had shown me a list of names he had started keeping of customers who had treated him like crap and then not tipped well. He actually had their names... when I asked him what he was gonna do with it he didn't know. That's when I said, "you need to get out man, its time to find a new line of work..."

"Maybe it was time for me to do something else as well" I thought...

The I spent the next ten minutes trying to think up ways to kill them without getting caught. I admit, there was a little bit of murder in my heart. At one point I was walking by and they called me over. They were all laughing and smirking and though I wanted to throttle them, I put on my nice face and said, "What can I get for you?" They ended up ordering this particular restaurants version of an ice cream Sunday.

I went back to the kitchen, found a rather private area next to the freezer and fixed them a very special Sunday.

After spitting in it and licking all the four spoons and then putting them in the ice-cream Sunday, I took it out, dropped it off and said "Enjoy, guys."

I admit it, I snapped.

A couple of minutes later I dropped of the check and saw that the Sunday was gone and all four spoons appeared to have been used.

"Did you guys enjoy the Sunday? I asked. "Yeah it was fine," one of the idiots, said. "Did you all eat it?" I asked. "I'm sorry?" said one of the girls. "Did everyone have some!?" I asked with a bit of force. "Yes." She said with a confused look on her face.

Then I looked each one in the eyes and finally I smiled (it was a rather evil smile) and said. "Good."

I walked away savoring the look of horror that had dawned in each of their eyes. Then I thought to myself, "yep, its definitely time to get out of this game."