Surrendered and Untamed

Moving to Wordpress

2011-07-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I have avoided it for a years, but I finally gave in to the superior blog options Wordpress offers... You can now find me at my new and continuing to be developed Wordpress home.

www.jasonclarkis.com

I wont be closing this blog and will probably continue to post here for a little longer. But eventually I plan on permanently residing on my new blog. Hope to see ya there!

- Jason

Surrendered and Untamed Free Album Download

2011-07-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I decided it was time to make some new friends. So I did something that I learned when I was in kindergarten - I shared. I have given the album away to nearly 1000 new friends!! Very soon I will be emailing them to see if can I come over for dinner.

If you haven't got the album yet...

NO LONGER AVAILABLE

Enjoy!

And Before the Coffee is Fully Brewed...

2011-07-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

Anthony & Mary Keith Skinner recently visited the Clark's. It was like streams in the desert. I hadn't realize how lonely I’ve felt for the past several years until I was sitting across the table with a new friend. I have some amazing friends… some of them are in Dallas and Jackson and Seattle… Eye contact and shared coffee is priceless...

You know what was really refreshing about the Skinners visit? They didn’t visit us for them. That's not to say we weren't good company, or that we didn’t bless the Skinners, I mean, we are pretty amazing. But my point is, they didn’t come for them; they came for us. They walked through the door and started loving us before the coffee was fully brewed. People who have lived immersed in the Fathers love, well, they love. They can’t help it. You see; they’ve become love.

Karen and I have begun to live this way as well. We are daily becoming convinced in our Fathers always-good love. And so, we too are becoming love. You know what the best thing is about becoming love? It's not hard to love, you don’t have to try. All you have to do is walk through the door and before the coffee is fully brewed… well...

Jesus was love. It wasn’t hard for Him either. He didn’t have to try. All He had to do was keep His eyes on His Dad. His Dad was Love too.

We went to hear the Skinners sing at The Queen City Church the Sunday night before they headed home. It was beautiful, sweet, and powerful. It was all those things for several reasons. First, as my friend Andy Squyres says, Anthony's voice is a million bucks. So there was that. But it was also beautiful, sweet, and powerful for a profoundly simpler reason; the Skinners weren’t there for themselves, they were there for all of us.

Mid-strum, Anthony muted his strings and paused for a moment, “I used to try and love God...” my new friend said from the stage. He was sitting on a stool, Mary Keith next to him. “...but now I just let Him love me.”

And before the coffee was fully brewed…

You want to know how a person becomes love; you want to know how a person can live for another? It has nothing to do with trying…

The Oscillating God

2011-07-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

The Philippines is the hottest most humid place I have ever been in my life. New Orleans in July doesn’t hold a candle to its suffocating heat…

I lay in my homemade sleeping bag, a queen size sheet that Karen had halved and sown shut at the bottom before the trip. My head was on a rolled t-shirt; one of my last clean ones. The mosquito netting hung from an exposed beam above my head, cocooning me. It kinda worked; at least, it kept more mosquitoes from getting in. And the ones that slept with me were well gorged.

I doubted the net would stop the rats that ran across the beams over our heads but they seemed to have some place to go and were thankfully uninterested in the sweaty sleeping men beneath them. Strike that, the sweaty horizontal men. No one was sleeping. And our minds weren’t on the disagreeable plywood floor, the hungry mosquitoes, or the busy indisposed rats. The only thing that existed in our universe at that moment was the oscillating fan.

I wanted to find the fella that had invented the damned beautiful thing and hug, and then strangle him. My emotions where as fickle as the wind. The fan was my delight and my torture. There were five of us attempting to sleep on the second floor of the two story tin shack located on the side of a Filipino volcano. For the brief seconds the moving air brushed my clammy skin I knew to the core of my being that God was good and he loved me. “Oh God.” I sighed. And then the stupid fan moved on and I would begin to doubt, “Oh God!” I cried out again, this time in desperation.

Much of my life I have served an oscillating God. You know, the fella with the fickle nature. The guy that has sunshine and ponies in one hand and the Skill saw in the other. I have determined His nature through the lens of my needs. When life was sweet, with demands met, health great, and friendships deep and true, I’d sigh blissfully “Oh God.”

But life isn’t always sweet. Skill saws happen. And when the valley of the shadow of death is upon us, that’s when we must know to our core that our Fathers nature doesn’t change. He isn’t fickle. He hasn’t gotten tired of us, or changed His mind about us. He hasn’t turned His heart from us; He’s not judging us, or condemning us. He is still the same always-good Love He has always been.

I am growing in my revelation regarding my Fathers heart toward me, “Only goodness and love all the days of my life,” that’s what I say. I say it when life is a “mountaintop” and I am learning to say it when life is a “valley.”

My Father doesn't Oscillate! His love is steadfast and relentless. His love is pure and beautiful. His love pursues me, enraptures me, consumes me. His love is the beginning, the end, the before, the after, and everything in between. His love is good - always!

Always-good love

2011-06-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

I have prayed when Karen starts to get a migraine, “Father, heal Karen’s migraine in Jesus name.” And we have thanked and praised Him for His always-good love as the headache that typically becomes a migraine fades away.

I have also prayed against a coming migraine and watched, feeling helpless, as Karen still gets the migraine. And yet, while she is in pain, we have hurdled the disappointment and thanked and praised our Father for His always-good love.

We have trusted our Father absolutely in our finances, risking everything to start a company. Karen and I watched God come through miraculously giving us favor and increase. As the company prospered, we thanked and praised our Father for His always-good love.

We have trusted our Father completely in our finances, risking everything while we gave the company back to Him. Karen and I have hurdled the disappointment of a failed business and substantial debt. And as we wondered how to pay the mounting bills, we thanked and praised Him for His always-good love.

We are becoming convinced that His love is perfected in His goodness – always.

We are learning that if we measure our Fathers good love by our interpretation of a need met, then we will eventually be forced to re-define His good love. God is love and He is always good – period. The moment His goodness must be re-defined, He is no longer always good. If we define His love by a need met, then if at some point the need appears to go unmet, we set ourselves up for a crisis of faith.

Its about Faith. While Faith always looks like risk; faith is about trust. Faith believes that He loves me and His love is perfected in His goodness. It’s our trust in our Fathers always-good love that empowers us to hurdle the disappointment - to still believe.

AND, it sets us up to know more of His always-good love...

A Message From My Father

2011-06-06T14:12:00.000-07:00

My heavenly Father is speaking right now, can you hear Him? My Dad says...

“I love you. I love you when you are high and when you’re low. Do you believe me?

I love you when you mess up; I love you when you come running back. I love you when you reject my grace; I love you when you embrace my goodness. I always love you. Do you believe me?

I love, you, when you doubt, when you are disillusioned, when you hate me, when you are angry, when you are confused, when you are disappointed, when you speak poorly about me. When you don't believe me.

I loved you yesterday; I love you today, tomorrow and for all eternity. I find you to be amazing, I find you to be stunning, I am mesmerized by you. I love you. Do you believe me?"

Goodness & Love - Part 2, Psalm 23

2011-05-27T12:18:00.000-07:00

This excerpt continues from "The Skill Saw Father" excerpt and is taken from a message I gave on 5-13-11 at Christ Community Church near Atlanta. This message launched a four week mens study group around the S&U film guidebook.

In this excerpt I delve into Psalm 23 and Davids revelation of an always good and loving Father. To hear or download the message in it's entirety CLICK HERE

The message is titled "Goodness and Love."

I also have a blog that delves deeper into this revelation. To read CLICK HERE

Goodness & Love - Part 1, The Skill Saw Father

2011-05-27T12:13:00.000-07:00

This excerpt is taken from a message I gave on 5-13-11 at Christ Community Church near Atlanta. This message launched a four week mens study group around the S&U film guidebook.

In this excerpt I explain how important it is to understand the nature of our heavenly Father. To hear or download the message in it's entirety CLICK HERE

The message is titled "Goodness and Love."

Its a powerful message that the church is growing in today. One that will set us free to become world changers!

I also have a three part series on this blog that delve deeper into this revelation. To read part one CLICK HERE
Part two CLICK HERE
Part three CLICK HERE

Prone to Love (6) - Zacchaeus

2011-05-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

Zacchaeus was short and he was also a sinner – no relation. Zacchaeus was a man who was unfamiliar with Love - mostly because as I just stated, he was a sinner, but also because he was a chief tax collector. It’s assumed that he used his position of power to steal from, and cheat the people in his hometown of Jericho.

One day, while sitting in a tree in order to catch a glimpse of the arriving famous fella from Nazareth, Zacchaeus encountered the good news. He met Jesus, who loves both sinners and apparently even tax collectors.

I imagine you know the story. It’s found in Luke. It’s also been wonderfully preserved in a children’s song that employs the words wee and little. As Jesus is walking through the crowded street past Zacchaeus’ tree, he looks up and by name he greets the short fella. “Zacchaeus, I must come to your house tonight!” He says. And then Jesus, Love in human form, the Son of God, goes to the wee little sinner’s place for dinner.

Now I want to point something out that is absolutely stunning. Not once does Jesus mention Zacchaeus’ sinful ways. Not once did He chastise him, correct him, or challenge him. There was not even insinuation or eye rolling. No suggestive mothering tone in Jesus voice, quite the opposite. Jesus actions are loud and clear. “I love you and I am going to treat you the way my Father see’s you. He value’s you, He see’s goodness in you, and I will celebrate you.” Jesus honors Zacchaeus. There was no shame, no condemnation. There was only Love.

Then the coolest thing happens; Zacchaeus is transformed. Where just moments earlier we had a sinner, now suddenly we have a saint. The old sinner, now saint, declares that he will give half of what he owns to the poor and return four times what he stole.

How did this happen? Jesus was the Father revealed. Zacchaeus saw his Father and then himself from his Fathers perspective. Zacchaeus was living in one reality when he was introduced to a greater revelation – Love. From his Fathers perspective, Zacchaeus was supernaturally generous, he was prone to love. Zacchaeus encountered Love, saw Himself from Loves perspective, and decided to agree with how Love saw him.

I would like to suggest that this is how our heavenly Father always interacts with us. He determines to see us through the heart of Love. Every encounter I have ever had with God has been this way. He is intent on me knowing He loves me. And it is His greatest desire that I believe Him. When I meet with Him, there is never condemnation, shame, or guilt. He never seems interested in bringing up my past weaknesses or failures. Instead, when I find myself in his presence, I am simply humbled by His good love.

Hear me, I am not saying I am unaware of where I’ve failed, it’s just that I am infinitely more aware of who He is and that He dwells in me. I am not belittling sin; I am praising His love. I am not ignoring evil, I am celebrating His goodness.

I am convinced that God so desires us to know and believe His love simply because in doing so we are set free to become saints.

The bible makes it clear, Zacchaeus was a thief and a liar, he had a sinful nature, he was prone to wander. But one encounter with Love changed everything. In the natural, Zacchaeus was a sinner, but when he saw and encountered Love, he was transformed into a saint. It’s not in the nature of a sinner to give like he gave. But it is in the nature of a saint. Saints are generous. And saints have the capacity to give supernaturally.

As a believer I am learning that what I think about me should always be determined by what my heavenly Father thinks about me. I so want to see myself from my His perspective. You see, through Gods eyes, Zacchaeus wasn’t a self-centered, small-minded, thieving, liar; he was a generous large-hearted believer who was capable of giving more than half of what he owned away. When we see ourselves through Gods eyes, we become saints, capable of all the things that sinners aren’t.

The moment Zacchaeus realized God saw him as generous he became generous. It’s that simple. I would like to suggest that this is how we become world changers. We simply encounter Gods nature and agree with it. We simply experience a revelation of our Fathers love and live in agreement with it. In His love I am a generous man! I am kind, and patient, and merciful, I’m full of grace. In His love, I am prone to love... and so are you!

Prone to Love (5) - From Sinner to Saint

2011-05-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

The power of the song “Come Thou Fount” is the revelation that we can always know His Love. The song is about a journey to the cross. It is the good news that just keeps getting better. But the song is the begging of a story, not the end. You see, the cross is the launching pad, the foundation, the slingshot that propels us into the victorious, miraculous, greater works existence Jesus modeled and told us we had access to. The cross is only beautiful because of the empty tomb. We celebrate his death because of His resurrection. The power of Love is perfected when sinners become saints. That was the whole point of Jesus death and resurrection - that we would encounter Love and become love.

Jesus never once was “prone to wander” or “prone to leave the God He loved.” He came earth to settle that exact issue once and for all. He came to set us free that we too might see, encounter, and become love; that we might be transformed from prone to wander, to prone to love Him!

I think that if a person sings the line “prone to wander” as a testimony, it is stunning, powerful, life-changing revelation. But when a Christian, as a proclamation, sings those lyrics, they are debilitating and destructive. While the song is brilliant theology for the sinner, it is devastating theology for the saint.

I no longer sing “prone to wander.” I can’t, it’s not true; my Dad said so. Instead, when I sing this beautiful hymn, by faith I agree with how my Father see’s me. I sing, “prone to love you Lord I feel it, prone to serve the God I love.” And I can't help but cry tears of joy while I sing this. Why? Because not only is it the cry of my heart, but because of my beautiful best friend Jesus, it's true!

My journey is a headlong discovery of my Fathers love. There is no greater discovery ever made and I am learning like my grandmother, the discovery of His love sets me free to become love. In fact, my revelation of my Fathers love is what transforms me…

Prone to Love (4) - Faith

2011-05-04T12:52:00.000-07:00

Ethan recently got a brand new Buffalo Bills jersey. When he walked into the room wearing it, he was smiling ear to ear. Then he asked me an awesome question, “Dad, do I look as good as I feel?” I laughed, “Son, you look even better than you feel!”

I think the reason it is so easy to believe we are prone to wander is because we have all done some wandering. We have all turned our backs on Love; we have all sinned. I get it. I have lived with me my whole life. I have had a front row seat to my failures. I’ve been there when I did something that I am not proud of.”

That said, this whole “prone to love Him” thing, it’s about faith. Faith is not discovered in our feelings, it’s not determined by our surroundings, and it’s not controlled by our past. Faith is birthed in the discovery of our Fathers nature. And it’s always about a future and a hope. In fact, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” I would like to suggest that while it takes no faith to believe we are prone to wander, it takes great faith to believe we are prone to love Him.

Jesus told us that without faith, we can’t please God. It’s a leap of amazing faith to agree with our Father regarding our righteous nature when there is plenty of evidence to prove otherwise. And I’m convinced this is the “faith” that truly pleases Him.

You see, faith is the currency of Gods Kingdom and what we spend our faith on determines how we live. If I believe I am evil, then every bad thought confirms it. If I believe I am unholy, then every failure confirms it. If I believe I am unworthy, then instead of running to Love in the midst of temptation, or hardship, I hide. If I believe I am prone to wander simply because I have, then I have determined that my past is more powerful than Gods Love. If I believe I am prone to leave God because I feel like it, then my feelings might as well be my gospel.

I am on an amazing journey in which I am discovering the same thing my grandmother discovered. Because of Jesus life, death, and resurrection, I am no longer prone to wander. Just the opposite, I am prone to love Him! The moment I said yes to Jesus, my very nature underwent a radical transformation.

I am growing in my Fathers love. I am growing in faith. I am choosing to believe that what Jesus did at the cross was enough and in Him, well, I look good! I am choosing to see myself from my Fathers perspective and agree with Him. And every time I see myself from Dad’s perspective, I hear Dad say, “Son, you look even better than you feel!”

Dear church, I would like to suggest that we are holy by nature. Our DNA changed the moment we said yes to Jesus and we are now righteous. We are saints. Our heavenly Father sees us through the love of His Son as powerful, and with all His authority. He sees the goodness in our hearts. He sees the love that we have for others. He sees world changing generosity, mercy, grace, and kindness. He see’s spiritual giants who will transform the world with His love - if we would just take the leap of faith and agree with Him...

Prone to Love (3) - The Conversation

2011-05-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

I ran into a friend the other day at Starbucks. I was leaving and she was just arriving. It didn’t take long however, before we both found a seat, as our conversation was invaded by Gods always good love.

After quick hellos, our discussion stumbled into a topic much debated at church water coolers across the US. She wanted to know my thoughts regarding a controversial Christian book that had recently released. I hadn’t read the book at the time, so I had no opinion on its content. But I sure loved the title…

I told her so. Then, almost as an aside, she asked, “Are you writing anything controversial these days?”

“Not in my opinion.” I laughed, “That said, I have discovered that many Christians find one of my messages to be controversial.” Having missed out on the first controversy she was game for a new one. “What is it,” she asked smiling.

"Did you know that both you and I are prone to love Him, we are righteous, we are inherently good, holiness is in our DNA?”

I watched her face as I spoke. By the time I was finished telling her how amazing we were, I could tell that we had found something “controversial” to talk about. I was excited, its always fun to tell someone how God sees them.

I laughed, “You don’t believe me, do you?”

She smiled, “Well, I guess… I have always been taught that we have a sinful nature… What do you mean by prone to love Him?”

That’s when I told her about my grandmother. Then, because she didn’t know my grandmother, I threw a few scriptures in to make it legal.

“If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (2 Cor. 5:17)”

And

“In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:3)

And

“Anyone who is a child of God does no sin, because he still has God's seed in him; he is not able to be a sinner, because God is his Father.” (1st John 3:9)

And

…put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:22-24)

I continued, “When we said yes to Jesus, our old sinful nature died with Him on the cross. The old self, or the old things, has passed away; they’re dead. We are now new creations in Christ; we are “created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Over the next half hour I shared about how our heavenly Father always looks at us through the lens of Jesus’ death and resurrection and therefore He always likes what He sees. Not only does He look at us through His Son, He has invited us to agree with Him regarding how He sees us.

While we may often feel like spirituals dwarfs, He sees us as spiritual giants. While we may occasionally act like sinners, He still treats us like saints. While we may be convinced we are prone to wander, He believes we are prone to love. I think the journey all believers are on is a journey like that of my grandmother. We live to discover our Fathers love and become transformed until one day we can agree with
God not just about His nature but also about our own.

I could see as I talked that she was becoming both excited and also a little nervous. She was excited because just maybe it was true, and if so, it was wonderfully good news. She was nervous because, well, she has lived a long time with herself…

Prone to Love (2) - Come Thou Fount

2011-04-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

Robert Robinson was born in 1735. He lost his father at the age of 10. His mother, believed to have been a strong Christian, had a desire to see her son grow to become a minister. However, Robert was willfully lost. When he turned 14 his mother sent him to London to apprentice with a barber. For the next several years Robert lived a life of drinking and gambling. Robert was prone to wander.

At the age of seventeen, he and his drinking buddies went to a meeting where evangelist George Whitfield was preaching. Apparently they were planning on mocking those in attendance but upon hearing the message, Robert's heart was assaulted by Love.

The following three years Robert wrestled with God. In 1755, at the age of twenty, He won by surrendering. As a side note, God won too! It’s what we in the Kingdom call, a “win/win.”

Three years after Robert said yes to Love, he composed a song. This song is stunning in its revelation.

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it, mount of Thy redeeming love.

The song has four stanzas in total and for the last 250 years it has captured hearts. The lyrics and melody coalesce beautifully to reveal and releases the wonder of grace and the power of Love. Many have sung this song while in their own wrestling match with God. There have been many win/win’s because of Roberts revelation.

This song was Roberts story. It was a testimony of one sinner’s journey to the “mount of Thy redeeming love!” It’s the prodigal son epic. Its one of the most stunning stories in the universe because its not just Roberts, its ours. Every one of us who have said yes to Love, have tasted and touched, been immersed and redeemed, restored and made whole.

All of us are on a journey like Roberts. We live to discover our Fathers Love. And while this song is powerful in that revelation, I would also like to suggest that the journey doesn’t end at the discovery; that’s just the beginning.

Prone to Love (1) - Grandma Eva

2011-04-19T14:02:00.000-07:00

Grandma’s lips always moved. If you were close enough you could sometimes catch a few phrases.

“Thank-you Jesus. I love you Jesus. You are so precious.”

Elmer and Eva were the kindest and most gracious people on the planet. I am not exaggerating. They never spoke harshly of anyone; they were never critical and always giving. What they had was yours. My dad tells stories from his childhood about how the neighbor boys referred to Grandma as the “God Lady.” They would sneak into the Clark house anytime of the day and help themselves to the cookies in the cookie jar. Apparently one day Grandma caught them red handed. Then kindly she said, “Now boys, you can have cookies whenever you want, all you need do is ask.”

There is a verse in Daniel that describes my grandparents. “But the saints of the Highest One will receive the kingdom and possess the kingdom forever, for all ages to come.” My grandma and grandpa, they were those saints. When you were around them you could almost taste it, smell it, feel it - heaven was that close.

My grandparents lived in Gods love. They gave over half their income to missions; their home was open to everyone. And there was almost always someone living with them. In my younger years, I often wondered if some of these people took advantage of their generosity. But looking back, I realize now that it’s impossible to take advantage of love.

Grandpa lived to be 95; he went home first. Grandma followed at the age of 100. After Grandma died, I miraculously found myself in possession of an amazing, holy, historical, Clark birthright - her Bible. I remember helping pack up some of my grandparent’s things at their house. Somehow, I ended up with the box containing grandpa’s cool Sinatra hat and grandma’s bible. It honestly wasn’t intentional.

I am not proud of this, but when I realized I had the Bible, and that no one in my family knew it, well, lets just say, I was almost tempted beyond what I could bear. It took me weeks to let the cat out of the bag. Personally, I thought it was God ordained.

Dad finally sequestered it, but not before I had a chance to read through and scan some of the contents. I still have the cool hat.

I realize I am going on about this Bible but you have to understand, this was her bible for over 50 years! Some of my heritage as a lover of God has been documented and preserved in its pages. It was like having a personalized road map to my inheritance. This bible is marked on nearly every page and in every ink color you can imagine. It is filled with personalized notes and poems about Gods grace, and mercy, and kindness, and most of all, His love.

In fact, Gods love seemed to be the singular pursuit of my Grandmother. There were several hand written notes, and poems she had cut out of papers, and magazines.

“For the love of God is broader than the measure of mans mind. And the heart of the Eternal is most wonderfully kind.”

And

“He drew a circle that shut me out, heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win, we drew a circle that took him in!”

Honestly, while writing this, I am overwhelmed and infinitely grateful by how my grandparents lived. They truly were world changers, heroes in the faith, saints. They lived in such an intimate friendship with Jesus and their prayers never ceased; for their kids, their grandkids, their great grandkids...

Even though they are now in heaven, I still feel the echoes of their prayers; I see the evidence in my life and the lives of my kids. I am their legacy, as are my kids and so on. And that’s the way it’s supposed to be. You see, when saints pray, the Kingdom is possessed, today, and for the ages that come.

My cousins, Chris and Jonathan, had the privilege of growing up in the same town as my grandparents. Since their passing I have heard many stories about their lives. Recently, however, I heard a new story about grandma Eva as told by my cousin Jonathan that just absolutely amazed me. I recognized it immediately because it is my story as well, it was a mile marker on a road map to my inheritance. But its not just for me, I believe I am meant to share with you as well.

Grandma and Grandpa went to church whenever there was a service. They participated in every way. Jonathan was with Grandma one Sunday morning. During worship Jonathan noticed she was not singing the words. Grandma was a worshiper; she always sang the words.

The congregation was singing the famous and beautiful Hymn “Come Thou Fount.” As Jonathan tells it, Grandma was not only not singing, she seemed slightly agitated.

The piano led the voices,

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter; bind my wandering heart to Thee.

To Jonathan, Grandma’s lack of participation was almost stubborn.

Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.

Grandma seemed perturbed by this line. Grandma was the most patient and kind woman on the planet. Perturbed was so out of character for her that Jonathan became concerned. Finally, he leaned over.

“Grandma, what’s wrong?” He whispered.

Grandma said, “I’m not prone to wander Jonathan. I love Him.”

...

Discovering His Presence

2011-03-29T13:43:00.000-07:00

I lay in bed with Ethan last night. We listened to the storm blowing just outside his window. Ethan is my nine year old.

Ethan loves football. He thinks about

it at least half of the time. Lately our bedtime routine has involved a new home made game. I lay on the bed and he sits next to me. One of us will throw a football up to the ceiling and then we play receiver/defender and wrestle over the ball while Ethan gives the commentary, “Interception!” or “The ball is loose,” or “Clark has stripped the ball away. Touchdown! And the crowd goes wild!”

Normally bedtime becomes a frenzied father-son wrestling match. But last night we just lay motionless, mesmerized by the rain that was being blown against the house. Earlier we had stood on the front porch spellbound by the power of the storm. To us, it seemed a small miracle that the trees in our front yard weren’t ripped out of the ground and blown away.

“Ethan” I finally broke the silence. “Can you feel Gods presence right now?” I asked.

“I don’t know dad.” He said,

“What’s He saying to you right now?” I asked.

Ethan looked at me, “He loves me?” He asked, looking for conformation. I confirmed it with a hug. “He does! Do you believe it?”

Ethan smiled, “Yes.”

I continued, “His presence is right here, right now. Lets ask Him to reveal Himself.” I continued, “Father, come make your love known.” Immediately God filled the room. For the next ten minutes while I lay there and held Ethan, my body trembled with His presence. His love was so real. It was wholly unexplainable and absolutely glorious. And we laughed.

After a little while, Ethan began to ask questions, “Dad, how do you know God’s presence and if it’s Him speaking to you and not just your imagination?”

This is what I told him, “Buddy, when our Heavenly Father speaks to us, it is always about His love. He is always saying one thing, ‘I love you.’ And He is always asking one question, ‘Do you believe me?’ So if you are unsure whether it’s God, you simply have to determine if the thoughts and feelings you are having increase your love for Him, yourself and others. If they do, then that’s God speaking to you and you are in His presence.”

I have discovered that to encounter my heavenly Father, I must become convinced in my theology – God is Love. Its absolutely essential that at all times, regardless of my circumstances, or what others say about God, that I believe to the very core of my being that He is Love. You see, I have learned that believing Gods is Love is the precursor to an encounter. To the extent that I’m convinced He is Love, is to the extent that I can recognize when Love is in the room. And He is in the room, always!

When it comes to my kids, I am keen on them experiencing their own encounters with Love. I can be the best father in the world but if I don’t present them with opportunities to touch and experience the heart of God, I have missed my true calling as a parent. I am intent on my kids meeting and becoming familiar with Gods presence, His love, as I believe that it’s the key to living a full life, a life of faith, a life where every dream is available.

Collide Magazine - Surrendered & Untamed

2011-03-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

"It was freezing, but not the kind of cold that Joel had experienced in his home in DC. It was the kind of cold that could kill you in minutes. It hit -35 degrees without the windshield. With the 55 miles an hour winds, Joel was told it was as cold as -50..."

To read the entire article CLICK HERE

S&U Promo - Pastor Resources Cover

2011-03-02T09:21:00.000-08:00

Today, "Pastor Resources" magazine released with Mark Batterson and the S&U DVD on its cover. Baker is giving away the S&U DVD to the first 500 pastors who fill out the request form. You can go there now and check out the magazine online. Hint, we are on page 51.

In conjunction with the magazine release, we have set up a special page on the S&U website where you can go and watch chapter three of S&U "Awaken Your Soul at the Edge of the World" as well as download the corresponding chapter of the Participants Guide. To go to this page CLICK HERE

We also have made chapter one of my book, "Surrendered & Untamed, A Field Guide for the Vagabond Believer" available for download. CLICK HERE

Bono and I Have the Same Best Friend

2011-02-23T11:47:00.000-08:00

Bono: My understanding of the Scriptures has been made simple by the person of Christ. Christ teaches that God is love. What does that mean? What it means for me: a study of the life of Christ. Love here describes itself as a child born in straw poverty, the most vulnerable situation of all, without honor. I don't let my religious world get too complicated. I just kind of go: Well, I think I know what God is. God is love, and as much as I respond [sighs] in allowing myself to be transformed by that love and acting in that love, that's my religion. Where things get complicated for me, is when I try to live this love. Now that's not so easy.

Assayas: What about the God of the Old Testament? He wasn't so "peace and love"?

...

Click HERE for the rest of the interview

The Skill Saw Father - Part Three

2011-02-17T08:38:00.000-08:00

Truth is, some one did have to pay. Truth is, He already did.

I have lived most of my life thinking God was in control. It’s only been in the last six years or so that I have begun to realize with growing amazement and thankfulness that He isn’t about control at all. Quite the opposite, He is about authority. He has all authority. That’s what Jesus said in my Bible. “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me (Jesus)… Mat 28:18.”

Jesus didn’t come live here with us, die for us and rise again so he could be in control. He came to give us His authority. Control and authority are two entirely different things; control operates in the reality of need, authority is about love.

My Bible also says that it was for freedom that Jesus set me free (Gal 5:1). While control enslaves, authority sets me free. My heavenly Father has been absolutely amazing at working His freedom in me. As He’s revealed His love – His presence, His goodness, I’ve begun to discover that His love conflicted greatly with the lie that was buried ever so deep in my subconscious. His love is always bigger than the lie.

I am daily choosing to believe a radical truth about the nature of God. This truth has changed everything. The truth? Goodness is not a sometimes deal with God.

Goodness is an extension of His nature, of His love. It’s absolute; it’s not a theory, or a concept. It’s a greater revelation. It’s a truth we can either believe fully or not at all. Our Heavenly Father is fully, completely good, all the time. And if we can learn to believe this, we have found the core value by which everything in life is measured.

As I have decided to believe the “good news” I’ve been set free. Free to discover all the wonders of His goodness.

I have scanned my memory and talked in depth with my siblings. In my thorough investigation, I am confident in this next statement being absolutely 100% true. My dad never used a Skill saw on my siblings or me to get our attention or to teach us any lessons. In fact, I am sure that it never even crossed his mind. Now I realize that my dad is one of the top ten dads in world history. But even if he were just an average dad, I am confident that the skill saw would never have entered the equation.

If my dad wants to get my attention, he calls me by my name – the one he gave me. If he wants to teach me something, he shows me by how he lives. If he wants to impart to me, he reveals his heart with his words and actions. He’s always wanted the best for me and to this day he places high value on my thumbs.

I believe that there is a great shift that takes place in our hearts the day we decide to agree with the truth that God is always good, that it is impossible for a good Father to use skill saws on his kids. When we see our Father as he truly is, we are free to discover the authority of His Love; the same Love that Jesus displayed, the same authority He died and rose again to give us.

This authority is the greater works love that answers every controlling need that humankind faces. Jesus said, all authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth, now go make disciples of all nations. (Matt 28:18) Essentially, now go live in the same authority.

Our authority is about becoming sure in His love, secure in his goodness. Our authority is found when we see the true nature of our heavenly Father and then chose to both agree and align our hearts in that revelation.

The Skill Saw Father - Part Two

2011-02-16T10:08:00.000-08:00

If the truth sets us free, then a lie enslaves us. The lie that God is in control can make us horribly sick. When we believe that God is about control then we are forced to believe things that aren’t true and see things that aren’t real. That’s what happened to me.

I walked around for years subtly believing that the flu was the response to some sin in my life. When my car was broken into, God let it happen to help me refocus on the disciplines of my faith. When I didn’t get the job I wanted and needed, it probably was because I didn’t love God enough. If the furnace broke in my home, God may have instigated it so I could learn how to trust Him with my finances. Or maybe he was disciplining me because of my poor financial planning. Essentially, life’s hardships were sent or allowed by my Father to teach me how to live better, stay disciplined, and love Him more.

It’s not that I didn’t see and experience the goodness of God through life’s journey. It’s just that the power of His goodness was sadly reduced to the limits enforced by the lie that existed in my heart about His nature. I was enslaved to the lie that my Heavenly Father was a controlling bi-polar fella; one day full of love, the next wielding a skill saw. I lived insecure in my relationship with Him never sure what was next.

Whether saved or unsaved, what we believe about the nature of our God determines how we relate with Him and directly affects our freedom. When we believe that God is about control, then when something goes wrong, someone has to be blamed. If we are believers, then for the most part, we blame others or ourselves. For unbelievers it’s a little easier to blame God.

The news calls natural disasters “Acts of God.” And sadly, much of the church still teaches that the city struck by a disaster had it coming due to its sin. Thus revealing that we agree with the world’s assessment of a petty controlling God. That makes me sad…

If we believe God is about control, it affects everything. Every experience and encounter is filtered through the insecurity of our small God. A control-based perspective of God is evidenced from the subtle anxiety we experience in our heart when the furnace breaks down, to the blatant sense of righteousness when a rapist gets the death penalty. Control births blame and someone has to pay...

The Skill Saw Father - Part One

2011-02-15T10:09:00.000-08:00

There were a couple years when my family lived in Western NY. We had a house on Cedar St, which was located just a few blocks from the church school we attended. At that time I was around eleven years old, my sister Aimee was ten, and my brother Joel was eight. Because we lived so close, we often walked to and from school.

Coming home from school one day, we discovered not only Moms car but also Dads truck in the driveway. Dad’s truck was never in the driveway before 5PM. We ran into the house excitedly looking for him. Mom met us at the door. Dad had been in an accident.

My dad had a construction company at the time and had been on a job site. Apparently while cutting a 2x4, the skill saw snagged on the wood, bounced out of his right hand and landed on the left. Then the saw proceeded to crawl up his arm. He had several deep gashes. The worst was his thumb, which he almost severed.

I walked into the bedroom with my brother and sister. Dad was in bed, his hand bandaged. He had been sleeping but was now awake and sitting up. He smiled at us. Then he showed us his bandages and told us how it happened, and how he should have been more careful, and how the doctors barely saved his thumb. Yes, it hurt, but he had medicine now and felt better. Yes, lots of blood…

When my dad finished explaining the accident, my brother and sister’s interest waned. Not me, I moved to the next - to me - obvious question. “Why did it happen?” I asked. I didn’t just want to know how; I had to know why. “Why” was one of my favorite questions as a kid. …It still seems to come up from time to time.

As a kid I put my dad in some tough situations with that question. “Dad, why did God let Keith Green die?” , “Dad, why does God let the African children die of hunger” And finally, “Dad, why do you think you nearly cut your thumb off, why would God let it happen?”

My dad would have a completely different answer to that question if it were asked today. But at the time, my Dad had been fed bad a lie. And it caused him see and say things that weren’t true… so he said,

“I think God may be trying to get my attention.”

It was a lie. But at the time, my dad believed it, and so did I. Its not that I made an intentional theological decision regarding the nature of God, I was eleven, but my subconscious bought it. The idea that my Heavenly Father uses skill saws, that He either orchestrates or just allows bad things to happen to people so He might get their attention, or teach them a lesson, or to get them to do His will- it became a part of my spiritual DNA.

It’s a lie that is as old as humankind. It’s a lie that was birthed in the Garden of Eden. Everyday, both believers and unbelievers buy into it. Like me they swallow it down and then pass it along. In my opinion, it’s the worst kind of lie. It’s the worst because it distorts the true nature of our Heavenly Father. It implies that God is in control...

God Doesn't Lead Us Into Valleys

2011-02-05T11:11:00.000-08:00

I am writing on a daily basis. Its a very sweet season we are in, precious to me. I get to write for anywhere from four to six hours almost every day. I also get to write in several different veins. I try and take the weekends off but its hard to stop the wheels from turning...

I have posted a beautiful and growing revelation that is rocking my world. Its going to go in the chapter on intimacy in the book I am writing - one of the veins. I wanted to share it here.

God Doesn't Lead Us Into Valleys

I would like to suggest that there was a foundational truth that David discovered about the nature of God that gave him access to intimacy with God. It was simply this. God is good and full of love; He does not lead me into valleys, He only has good intentions for me.

I believe this revelation is what defined David’s identity. It was the core conviction through which every life experience was filtered.

David writes a beautiful psalm that reveals his revelation of God and how it defined his life perspective. It’s the 23rd Psalm, one most of us know. It begins with a proclamation of God as the leader and provider of his life.

The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want.

David continues in the same vein,

He (God) makes me lie down in green pastures. He, leads me, He restores my soul, he guides me in paths of righteousness for his name sake.

In the first part of the psalm, David lets us know that it is God who is leading him, and that God is leading him in good things. He is led to green pastures, led to still waters, in paths of righteousness. But as David’s journey continues, the language shifts.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil…

I love this verse because it says something so profound about David and his revelation of Father God. In fact, I think it’s the main revelation that David possessed that allowed for him to live as a man after Gods own heart.

The revelation was simply this; God does not lead him into valleys of the shadow of death. While David has no problem acknowledging that valleys exist and that there are enemies in those valleys, he gives God no credit for these things in his life. God does not do that sort of thing – He is good and full of love.

David had a perspective, a revelation of who God is that allowed for him to experience valleys without blaming God for them. In fact, once we find David in the valley, the language shifts again.

I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

I love this verse! David's journey once again becomes a testament of who God is in his life. And get this, in the valley, the language shifted from the early proclamation of He to the first person intimacy of You. David not only knew the valley was not Gods doing, it was this revelation that allowed him access to God in a much more intimate way.

I am convinced that David was able to be intimately aware of God’s presence in the valley because he was never offended in the valley. How could he be offended when it wasn’t in Gods heart for him to be in the valley? Somehow, David understood a New Testament revelation better than many of us living here now – on the other side of the cross.

The revelation? First, God is always good and full of love. Second, while valleys exist, God does not create them, and He never leads us into them - ever. Not only that, the valley is a place of intimate access to our Heavenly Father. He is there to lead us through.

The last verse of Psalm 23 show us that David new the true nature of God.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I’m convinced that David was able to maintain a heart after Gods presence because he knew God. He knew even before the revelation was fully available (pre-cross) that God is always good and full of love. That every plan God has for us is good. And if there are valleys, they have nothing to do with Him. How else does this man make it through all of his trials and still believe at the end.

I don’t know if you have ever thought about this but you cant be “a man or woman after Gods own heart” unless you know Gods heart. To know Gods heart means time spent chasing it, and catching it - time spent in His presence. And David, a man who was practiced in Gods presence, a man who knew Gods heart, tells us that Gods heart is for us. Surely goodness and love!

Bigger than Bathtubs

2011-01-31T08:58:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow the book releases. This is a short clip re-telling a story that can also be found in the book.

Excerpt taken from; Chapter Three, Monday Morning - Bathtubs or Oceans

"...Suddenly God spoke to my heart and said, “Jason, the promises I have for you are the size of the ocean. Don’t get distracted by bathtubs.”

The Moral?

Not all water is created equal. Your promise, my promise—it’s huge! It’s as big as the ocean. We can’t afford to lose sight of it or we will be tempted to settle for bathtubs..."

S&U - Practiced in His Presence

2011-01-30T11:03:00.000-08:00

The S&U trilogy releases Tuesday. Below is another excerpt from the book.

Chapter Twelve, Its Our Birthright - Practiced in His Presence

I turn my face to a blazing sun
Your glory falls, Your Kingdom comes

I was leading worship years ago the day the church had a guest speaker I highly respected.

When I lead worship, most of the time my eyes are closed. So I didn’t see the speaker come on the stage and stand next to me. He gently touched my arm. He had a microphone and looked like he wanted to share. I brought the song to a close. At first I thought he would have a word from God for the church, but as he spoke I realized he was talking to me.

“I would like you to take your guitar and step down off the stage,” he said kindly. As I did this, he continued. “Now turn your back to the church, face the front.” I complied. “Now worship.” I looked at him, a little confused. He smiled reassuringly and said, “Pretend we aren’t here. Worship the way you do when you are at home by yourself.”

I began to play. At first I was a little uncomfortable, I could feel the people looking, waiting. I pressed through. I began to praise God in song while playing a random chord progression. I praised Him for His goodness; I thanked Him for His love and for my wife and my new baby girl. At some point I actually forgot about the two hundred people behind me. Just like when I am alone in my living room, God’s presence became real to me. I worshiped this way for about ten minutes. I forgot the people; it was just God and me. I started to sing a song, “I am standing in Your presence on holy ground.”

As I began to sing this song, the band, still onstage, joined in. Then the two hundred people behind me joined in. That song led to another and another until we had worshiped forty minutes or so. It was a sweet time, one of my fondest worship memories to date.

When we finally came to a resting spot, the speaker was back onstage. He looked directly at me and said, “You can only take people where you have already been. If you go first, you will stir those around you to hunger for a greater revelation of God.” A greater love encounter. “You must be practiced in His presence.”

Every one of us has a promise that is way bigger than we can imagine. It’s a promise that isn’t just for us but for the world we live in. This promise isn’t found on a stage, it’s not about a title; our promise is birthed in the heart of God and is encountered in His presence.

God is looking for men and women who are not worried about being on a stage—those who aren’t seeking titles but instead are seeking His presence. We can’t take people where we haven’t been. We can’t give what we don’t have.

We must be practiced in His presence. We must know how to worship when no one is looking so we can worship where everyone can see.

David killed the bear and the lion while shepherding in obscurity before he killed the giant in a crowd. David experienced and demonstrated who God was while alone in his “living room” before he ever experienced and demonstrated who God was before a national stage.

For David, it was never about a stage, it was about the presence, and because of that, he was a king long before he wore the crown...

S&U Excerpt - The McDonald’s Miracle

2011-01-28T11:10:00.000-08:00

Excerpt's taken from:
Chapter Six, Giant Killers - The McDonald’s Miracle

Years ago my brother Joel was living in South Africa as a youth pastor. He was headed back to his apartment one day after having been up early and serving a mission team late into the night. Exhausted and hungry, he drove past a McDonalds. The idea of a hamburger, fries, and a Coke seemed the perfect way to unwind at the end of this day. As he walked in, a few homeless street kids stood around the entrance. This wasn’t unusual, but as he started to order his Biggie-Size Mac Meal, something else was; he heard God whisper: “Buy the boys some hamburgers.”

Joel was tired and only had enough rand (South African currency) for his meal. He was slightly annoyed, thinking, “I’ve worked all day and I don’t even have enough money to get myself everything I want, let alone feed the kids outside the door.” But because Joel was learning how to live violently believing, he ran headlong into what he believed God was asking him to do.

He bought as many burgers as he could afford, five total. But as he walked out of the restaurant, he saw there were seven kids. He didn’t have enough, plus the chances of him getting one were slim. But once you start running toward a giant, it’s foolish to turn back. So, he began passing out burgers.

Now this really gets good.

As Joel passed out burgers, more kids from across the street saw what he was doing and began to make their way toward him. Still, he just kept obeying. And somewhere between God’s whisper and way too many mouths to feed, it dawned on him that he should have run out of burgers long ago. But he didn’t.

Suddenly Joel wasn’t tired anymore.

Suddenly Joel was having fun.

When he handed the last boy a burger, he looked in the bag. Yeah, you guessed it—one left over, just for Joel...

...Our promises are not guaranteed. They are more like a glimpse of what we can become if we believe, surrender, and live with wild abandon...

S&U - Dedication

2011-01-27T10:07:00.000-08:00

Karen called me last week while I was out and said, "It's here!" When I got home I was greeted by a hugging boy and girl. Ethan and Eva hung on me as I searched the house for Karen. I found her and Maddy in our bedroom sitting on the bed. Karen was reading my newly arrived book.

When she handed it to me I was surprised by how excited I was to hold it. I kept saying, "Its just like a real book!" Karen laughed, "What did you expect? It is a real book!" Maddy laughed also saying, "Dad, you did write a book, why are you so surprised?" Ethan and Eva were more interested in jumping off the bed into my arms. I was only half catching them... I was holding my book.

This is a little embarrassing but over the next two days, I re-read my book... the book that I spent five years writing, the book I had only a month earlier read in its entirety for the audio version.

Its just that it is a real book, a real one! It has chapters, and at the top of each page it tells you what the name of the book is and what chapter you are in. How cool is that? If you happen to forget the name of the book, you don't have to flip back to the cover, it's right there at the top of the page. Not only is that incredibly convenient, its also just like a real book!

It also has endorsements in the front, and product placement in the back, and acknowledgments, and a dedication, and notes - yeah those pages that tell you what scripture I referenced, it even tells you the translation.

It was absolutely amazing to see Gods faithfulness in print. I hadn't even dreamed of being a writer six years ago, but God dreamed it. He then took me on a journey. One in which I learned how to dream His dream, live in the expectation until it became a realization.

So it is good! That said, there was one disappointment...when I got to the dedication and acknowledgments, I realized that my last edit somehow didn't make it into the book. I want to post those omissions here.

There was one name missing from the acknowledgments - that I am aware of. While in edits I read Danny Silks book "Culture of Honor". This book played a role in helping me see myself from Gods perspective. That most certainly influenced my writing. He was to be added to the paragraph were I thank spiritual fathers. Thank you Danny!

The hardest thing I discovered missing, from the dedication, was my prophetic proclamation over my kids. As I have said many times, I write for one reason, to leave a legacy of love for my kids. God spoke that over my heart soon after asking me to write and its what kept me writing for five years. While there is a beautiful dedication to Karen and my kids in the book, there was meant to be more.

For now, it will go in my blog...until the next book is finished.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my wife Karen and my kids, Madeleine True, Ethan Wilde and Eva Blaze – my favorites.

Karen, I can’t imagine this journey without you. You amaze me. Your love has revealed Gods love, it’s transformed me. I still can’t believe I get to do this life with you. As a bright fella once said, “I’m at your feet.”

Maddy, my “sunshine,” you have one of the brightest promises I’ve ever seen. When people meet you they cant help but shine. You are a worshiper; you revel in His love and reveal His goodness. God loves your presence!

Ethan, my “wild man,” you are gentle and fierce; your promise is powerful and will set people free. The world will never be the same because of you. God not only loves you, He likes hanging out with you - a lot!

Eva, my “bright eyes,” your promise is glorious! You’re revelation of Gods presence is wondrous, beautiful. New words will be created for Gods majesty because of your God encounters. God thinks you're stunning and loves you intensely!

I’m so loving living surrendered and untamed with you guys!

S&U Excerpt - Scary is Fun

2011-01-26T09:38:00.000-08:00

Surrendered & Untamed, A Field Guide for the Vagabond Believer

In this video I tell a story that is also in the book. Its a story that illustrates trusting God in risk taking fashion. I am convinced that life for the believer is about collecting faith stories.

"...My little girl beat the diving board. Yes, it was too scary and too high, but she did it anyway. She jumped—for herself, for me, for the story. Years later, most of that vacation has faded from her memory, but the story of the diving board lives on. And “scary is fun” has become a household phrase....If she had not jumped, we both would have missed out. But she did jump and now she owns that story. She owns that experience. And the diving board no longer controls her fear..."

"...How do we find wild God stories? One word: experience. I believe we were created for experience—to taste and touch, to search and discover. Why else does a thirteen-month-old experience such joy in the discovery of a light switch or bubbles? OK, I get bubbles. Why is it that I find joy at the top of a mountain? And why did God leave it to Adam to name the animals? God created them, it seems He would be the best suited to name them. Yet from the beginning, God set up the universe with all of its wonders and mysteries for our discovery, for our pleasure. Our relationship with God works the same way. We have been invited to discover Him and experience His heart until we begin to see, hear, and feel as He does . . . and we find ourselves doing it for the story, our story, His story..."

Excerpts taken from Chapter Five, Do It For The Story

S&U Excerpt - Do It For The Story

2011-01-25T10:21:00.000-08:00

This excerpt is taken from Chapter Five, Do It For The Story

“It is abnormal for a Christian not to have an appetite for the impossible. It has been written into our spiritual DNA to hunger for the impossibilities around us to bow at the name of Jesus.” - Bill Johnson, author of Face to Face

I want to live the best story. The kind that you find in the Bible. The kind that my kids will want to tell their kids. The kind that inspires.

Have you ever wondered why when we were kids the Bible stories read to us were meant to inspire dreams of impossibilities being made possible with God? And yet as adults, the same stories become observations of how it was “once upon a time.” Why is it that the radical miracle stories of my youth found in the Bible have become tamed three point sermons I could intellectually apply to my life now that I am an adult?

When I was a kid it was possible for boys to kill evil giants and men to walk on water. When I was a kid it was possible to live inside a whale, a raging fire and a lions den. When I was a kid it was possible to pray for the sick and watch them recover. Shadows could heal, and the dead could be raised. When I was a kid I believed that with God, all impossibilities were possible.

The best stories are the ones where life’s failures, pains, betrayals, disillusionment's, deaths - where life’s impossibilities become possibilities. If you are reading this and you no longer believe as a child, but everything in you wants to, try this statement on for size. “God, I want to believe that with You all impossibilities are possible. Show me how.”

Now here’s the thing, and I should have warned you first, after you pray this, Gods gonna start inviting you to step into your own uncomfortable, risky, rule breaking story. But it will be good, why, because all of His stories are full of the wonder of His good miraculous love...

S&U Excerpt - Revelation

2011-01-24T09:29:00.000-08:00

A week from tomorrow the Surrendered & Untamed products will be available. I got my copies last week. It was very cool to hold the book in my hands. I kept saying, "Its like a real book, just like real book!" To which my Karen and Maddy each said, "It is a real book!"

To count down this last week before the book releases, I will be posting excerpts from the book here.

Taken from S&U, Chapter Two, He Loves Me Best - Revelation

Let me tell you how it is between my wife and me.

We could be driving down the road or sitting on the couch watching The Office when suddenly I am gripped with a revelation of how amazing Karen is. I will remember how she was so patient with our kids earlier in the day, or how she just made me coffee and I didn’t even ask for it and it was the perfect mix of coffee, cream, and sugar. Or how stunning the back of her neck is.

I will turn to her and say that simple universal phrase—“I love you”—to which she always responds, “I love you too, gorgeous.”

But sometimes in these unveiled moments I’ll stop what I’m doing and say, “Karen, I’m feeling it right now! At this exact moment I am having a revelation of my love for you! My heart, mind, and soul are loving you right now.”

“Right this instant?” She asks, her eyes bright.

“Yes, this exact moment.”

“Wow.” She smiles. “Now I’m feeling it too!”

Often this interaction is followed by an encounter. . . . That is to say, there might be a shared smile or a hug, a kiss, or—
Well, that’s none of your business.

I believe revelation, in the context of a love relationship, always leads to a greater love encounter, a greater intimacy. In fact, that’s the whole point of revelation. Karen and I have been married fifteen years. We know that we love each other, we say it all the time, we decide to all the time. But these moments of revelation are priceless. They are birthed of a pure surrender one to another, where everything in the universe aligns and our hearts, minds, and souls experience the encounter. In these moments, nothing else matters! In these moments, the truth of our love is purely revealed and is always deepened.

I am convinced that when it comes to our relationship with God, revelation is meant to lead to a greater encounter. Revelation means “to remove the veil”; it’s always about knowing in greater measure the love of God. I am also convinced that there is always more...

He Loves Me Best

2011-01-19T13:51:00.000-08:00

We are less than two weeks away from the release of Surrendered & Untamed! In this clip I briefly touch on a message you will find in Chapter Two of my book.

If you want to hear a message I recently gave that delves deeper into this revelation click HERE

Love Trumps Need - Every Time

2011-01-11T11:22:00.000-08:00

This is a small excerpt from the new book I am writing. There are lots of stories and funny stuff in the book... just in case you are wondering. But this is one of the core revelations and something God has been working so perfectly in Karen and I over the last years and more in depth in the last months. Its really good, but probably wont make you laugh...

Love you all!

Love Trumps Need - Every Time

Need is what defines life here on planet earth. In fact, time itself is the father of need. The universe was created as finite. Meaning there is a beginning and an end. In a finite reality, need is the principle upon which time exists, it’s the skeleton upon which reality hangs.

Need is the final singular truth by which our world operates. Humanity exists inside the confines of need. You could say that we are slaves to need. Need is the foundational structure of our DNA. It’s the defining core value of our very existence.

Need is with us when we wake and when we sleep. And it’s not an abstract idea. It’s probably the most real thing many of us know. It’s an absolute. It’s a physical reality woven into the very fabric of our planet. We need air to breathe; we need gravity to keep us from floating away. We need food to sustain our bodies. We need clothes and shelter. We need money to buy clothes and shelter. We need jobs to make money so we can buy clothes and shelter. We need a good economy to provide jobs…

Need seems to be the commodity of our very existence. We trade in the currency of need. It’s the substance that we are made of. We are one big walking, talking, breathing need.

Creation took its first breath in the reality of need. It’s not a bad thing, its actually beautiful if seen properly - through the eyes of the Creator. God created need. He created a finite reality in which men and women dwell. Then God did something odd and absolutely amazing, he put eternal spirits in finite bodies. He made humankind in His image. He breathed His Spirit, His Neuma in us.

Now here is a crazy thought, while need is the very substance of our existence, it has no place in Gods reality. Need doesn’t exist in God. Need isn’t even in His vocabulary. Need is actually counter to the nature of God. He is the beginning and the end and everything in between and everything before and everything after. He is infinite. He is complete; he is the answer, not the question.

And after the resurrection of Jesus, God invited humanity – slaves to need, to a finite reality - to live free of need in a glorious infinite revelation – Love. The core value of our very existence was redeemed from a need-based reality to an intimate love relationship.

Before Jesus resurrection, we lived in a world where every emotion, every decision and every moment was defined by need; by what we didn’t have and needed, or what we will need later.

Then Jesus came and revealed the Father. He took all of our needs upon himself and died. He took a need-based existence to the grave where it always belonged. And upon his resurrection he introduced us to a greater revelation, intimacy with our heavenly Father, access to the infinite reality of His Kingdom of love – heaven.

Heaven operates from a different core value. Love. Everything in the Kingdom of heaven, operates, hinges and moves in love. Love and need are two very different realities and Love trumps need - every time.

Its like this, we are living in two realities, but one is greater than the other. The first reality is the one we are often the most aware of. The one in which we can use words like starving, or desperate, or need. But there is a greater reality in which those words are forever settled.

Not only does need not exist within the nature of God, it doesn’t exist in heaven. You won’t need to eat there, and if you do, you won’t need money to buy food, and if you do, you can just use the gold that comes from the paving stones out in the street.

You won’t need to be healed in heaven; there is no sickness there. You won’t need to feel loved there, you will know and be love. You wont have any questions about why you exist there, the manifest Glory of God will make it very clear.

What’s awesome is that need has absolutely nothing to do with God. He is Love and Love is good – always. And not good like a nice sweater on a cold day, but good like grace and mercy and peace and joy, eternally good. A good that will always win against bad – has in fact already won. He is love and His very nature settles any and every issue of need – absolutely, to infinity and beyond.

Uncle Bob & Aunt Maureen

2010-12-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

It seems my family has begun to embrace another aspect of leaving a legacy of love, writing...

Last Christmas, us kids all wrote about mom. We presented our writings on Christmas morning in a beautifully designed book, compliments of my sister Aimee. Our writings were our memories of mom, of how she influenced our lives. Memories of love and laughter, of some risk and some heartache. Memories of break through and wonder and more laughter and life. Our memories also revealed our dreams. In fact, our memories are the foundation for dreaming...

I believe everyone should write. Whether you have the gift or not. Not for a book deal. Though, we will all celebrate that if it happens. Its about legacy, it's a reminder of where we have been and how good Gods been - even in the hard times, especially in the hard times. It's also about establishing a promise regarding where we are going. It's about Gods goodness regarding what He has promised us as His kids, His people, our family. Its about legacy, about love, about remembering so we can overcome and overcoming so our kids can remember.

In the last year, my brother and my father have each written a book, for our family - past and future. And my sister is writing as well, she wont show us yet, or even openly admit it, but we know and the anticipation is building... we are waiting sister...

This Christmas, my cousins took this legacy idea to another level. They had the whole family write memories and thoughts for their mom and dad, my Uncle Bob and Aunt Maureen. I added my memories and have posted them here for my kids, and their kids and so on...

Uncle Bob & Aunt Maureen

I was probably eight years old when uncle Bob let me drive the riding lawn mower - Its one of my favorite Uncle Bob memories. But I have many more. Uncle Bob lived in our kitchen when I was five, well, maybe not the kitchen, but I remember seeing him there a lot. Uncle Bob took me on a trip to “somewhere else” Ontario once - just him and me. We stopped at a roadside dinner and sat at the raised bar. Uncle Bob drank coffee, and I got hot chocolate and French fries. He even let me try his coffee.

When it comes to coffee – which is close to heaven for me – Uncle Bob was the first and most beautifully influential person in my life. In fact, I can’t think of those early days with Uncle Bob without seeing him with his full reddish beard, drinking coffee from his coffee thermo canister where the lid was also a cup. How cool is that, a lid that is also a cup.

And coffee was just one of the many ways Uncle Bob was cool. There were others… I’m pretty sure he had a motorcycle, well, I remember seeing him sitting on one. So even if he didn’t have a motorcycle, he was cool enough to be seen sitting on one. He traveled the world and had even been to Africa and seen giraffes. He brought me home a carved giraffe. As I already stated, He had a cool big thick beard - that smelled like coffee. He laughed a lot, him, my dad and my mom. But maybe the coolest of all was that he played guitar and sang and had a band.

One time I found a tape of his bands recording. I remember listening to it and thinking it was the coolest music ever. I also remember Uncle Bob finding me listening to it and saying I couldn’t listen to it. Looking back, I wonder now if it was “the young insecure artist syndrome” that I would later become acquainted with, or maybe it was simply that he thought the music was inappropriate for a young boy. Either way, “I would give my eyeteeth” to hear that music again. Ok Probably not my eyeteeth, that sounds serious. But I would absolutely give my baby teeth to hear that music again.

But what really set Uncle Bob apart, in the cool department, was that outside of the incident where he shut down the music listening, he pretty much let me do whatever I wanted to. He let me steer the car. He let me drink coffee, which would have given mom a heart attack. He let me ride in the truck bed on the highway, and of course, he let me drive the lawn mower.

He didn’t just let me drive the lawn mower, he trusted me so much, he went inside the house while I drove the lawn mower alone– probably to get coffee.

“Jason, this is how you make it go, and this is how you steer it. Now, just drive over all the tall grass. I’ll be right back.” He said.

And that’s what I did. I drove over the tall grass in the field and around the house, and on the hill and around the garden. It sure was fun! The lawn mower went fast and went wherever I steered it. However, there was one problem, the lawn mower didn’t seem to have a stop button. This made it tough when I got to the tree. There was some tall grass right next to the trunk and no matter how many passes I made, I just couldn’t seem to get the tall grass closest to the tree. Finally I decided to take the problem head on.

Uncle Bob just laughed when he came out to find me in a head on collision still sitting on a still running lawn mower while the back wheels churned up the earth. That was another cool thing about Uncle Bob, he never got mad, he just laughed.

Uncle Bob was also lucky; he had Aunt Maureen as his wife. She was very pretty and very nice and very smart and very sweet and very funny and very much interested in us kids her niece and nephews.

I loved visiting Uncle Bob and Aunt Maureen out in the country. They had a red house with a green roof, or maybe it was a green house with a red roof. Either way, it was very Christmas-ee. Especially when it snowed. Because they lived out in the country, they had great country climbing trees that could survive tractor collisions. They also had wonderful country fields to play war in, and they even had a country cat... for a little while…

Aunt Maureen had lots of books and she seemed to be schooled in the wider world. She also had an amazing sense of humor and an incredible way in which she could laugh with her eyes. She did that a lot. Aunt Maureen is the person responsible for introducing me to J. R. R. Tolkien. In fact, I still have “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy set she gave me as a kid. I knew it was gonna be good, her eyes told me so. It was. It also was a book series and genre that changed my life – there truly is nothing better than epic fantasy...

If Uncle Bob made it legal to listen to rock and roll, and dream in the language of melody and rhythm, Aunt Maureen made it legal to read books that weren’t the Bible. The kind of books that had elves and dwarfs and trolls and orcs and most important, hero’s that overcame overwhelming odds to save the world...

She also made great cookies, which was probably what she was doing while I mowed the grass that day. And we could have more than one cookie, and we could have them before dinner, and we could have them before we went to bed. She also liked coffee and the house smelled like it all day long. And there were books that sat out everywhere, way more than at our house. And there was a guitar that sat out as well. I would pick it up and try to strum it in a way that didn’t offend my ears. It is one of the earliest memories I have of dreaming in that beautiful language.

There are so many Uncle Bob and Aunt Maureen stories I could tell, stories of later in life, fun stories, good stories. But sometimes you just want to go back and remember those precious early days when you were just becoming. Those wonder years when you were most impressionable and most susceptible to dreaming. Uncle Bob and Aunt Maureen are woven into the fabric of my earliest memories. I was born to dream and I grew up surrounded by dreamers. I was born to love and I grew up surrounded by lovers. I was born to laugh and I grew up surrounded by joy.

And as I grew Uncle Bob and Aunt Maureen have always been there, cheering me on. They have been a constant strength. They have modeled love and dreaming and laughter. No one knows this more than my cousins, but we all would agree.

Some of the best things in life, they were invested in me by Uncle Bob and Aunt Maureen. They loved us kids, their nieces and nephews. They love me still. I’ve always felt that.

They gave me a beautifully romantic view of coffee, rock n roll and literature. I drink a lot of coffee these days. It’s been good for my soul. I’ve made some of my own music. I also have some tapes no one is allowed to listen to. I write a bit these days as well. And I know how to be loved and how to love and how to laugh. I believe this is because I grew up with real life heroes, the kind that save the world, that raise and support world changers, those who lived fully trusting God, those that release a legacy of love. Uncle Bob and Aunt Maureen sowed some of those seeds in my formative years and they are still sowing. And I’m honored and blessed and glad that they did and that they still do.

I love you guys! Merry Christmas!

- Jason

To read last years monument for my mom you can go here

Future of Forestry

2010-12-03T09:05:00.000-08:00

For the definition of fun - watch this!

Surrendered & Untamed, An Introduction

2010-12-01T15:05:00.000-08:00

We are gearing up, shooting commercials and building the website that will host thousands of amazing Surrendered & Untamed clips, OK, not thousands but...lots and lots. The website? So glad you asked! www.surrenderedanduntamed.com It's sparse right now and the design is still evolving but it's coming together.

We are two t-minus two months and counting until the S&U project releases! Check out this quick introduction.

Live at the Banks House

2010-11-30T10:57:00.000-08:00

Love this song!

There's no place I'd rather be
Than here in Your love...

So set a fire down in my soul
That I can't contain, that I can't control
I want more of you God...

A Portrait of Jesus

2010-11-19T12:32:00.000-08:00

I have uploaded the four part series I taught this last month titled "A Portrait of Jesus." This is a message that is burning in me and I was honored to have to opportunity to teach it. As much of what I shared is fresh revelation, it was the first time I was giving it away. Lots of processing as I went but I feel like the heart of the message is there.

If you want to hear an excerpt from week four, which I think was the best week, check out track one in the player below. Its titled, "Its About His Presence".

To listen to or download the whole series, go to this link: www.jasonclark.virb.com/a-portrait-of-jesus

Well Done

2010-11-15T13:50:00.000-08:00

I was driving up to Raleigh to hear Bobby Conner speak. We were broke and I talked to God the whole way. “Hey, did I do the right thing leaving my job? Hey, are You still with me? Have I missed something? Why am I taking this trip, we cant afford it."

When I had been invited to the meetings, I'd asked Karen if I should go. We are a part of the Bethel network out in California and this was being hosted by a Bethel affiliated church. Karen and I felt that we were to be intentional about connecting with Bethel and Bethel people, so if there was a meeting that we could go too, well...

Karen responded to my question with amazing clarity, "Does it take more faith to stay home or go?"

To be honest, I had been pretty good – emotionally, mentally... Regardless of our circumstances, about 85% of the time I was encouraged and believed that I had heard Gods direction and we were in the center of His will. The other 15% of my time was spent trying to live in the 85%. That said, I was experiencing one of those 15% moments. We had just received our last paycheck from CHD and it barley took care of the month and that didn’t include our mortgage that was already two weeks late.

I was driving at about 70 miles per hour on two front tires that absolutely needed to be replaced. Spending the extra money for this trip on gas and food was ridiculous – tires, just stupid…

“I am being so stupid,” I thought … “God, am I being stupid? My kids will want to eat next week. God what am I doing?”

I felt God respond to my heart with “Do you have enough money for today?”

“Well, yes, I guess.” I grudgingly conceded.

After Bobby Conner’s spoke – he is the real deal by the way, he prayed for the group and it was awesome. I felt Gods presence but… and I need to be careful in how I say this because I don’t want to trade Gods presence for anything. It’s the most important, central and sustaining reality of my life – especially today as I write this.

But after the service was over, I found myself with 7 hours to kill before the next meeting. No one invited me out and everyone I spoke with seemed to have something to do. So there I was, alone and I got a little aggressive with God.

“God, it took faith to make this trip. Why am I here! I love Your presence but honestly, I didn’t need to come here to feel it. I can feel You at home. I need tires! Now I have to feed myself and buy extra gas and again – tires! What am I doing here?

God seemed unconcerned; He again responded to my heart by asking the question, “Do you have money today?”

“Yes” I said, slightly distressed and perturbed.

“Then go get tires.” He said to my heart.

I drove to a service center. After I was told two tires would cost $240 installed, I left in search of a Wal-Mart. I found one. I parked in the back parking lot, walked into the service area and bought the cheapest tires available -$140 for two tires installed. I walked back out to the van and proceeded to park it in the service lane directly in front of the garage doors. I got out of the van, handed the keys to the mechanic and then we stood there and watched as the left front tire deflated.

“Do you see this? I asked the mechanic.

“Yeah,” he said, shaking his head. You got somebody driving with you man!”

“Yes I do,” I smiled.

As I walked across the parking lot to wait at the Starbucks that offered free Wi-Fi, I asked God “What does it mean?”

“I got your back.” God replied.

I cried while I walked. There is nothing so sweet as hearing your dad say, “Son, I got you – I wont leave you stranded on the roadside. Your kids will eat.”

As I thanked God for His goodness, I also chuckled while remembering one of the thoughts I had at the service center. When my tire deflated in front of me, the first thought that shot through my mind was, “I got every last moment out of that tire.” I know its a little odd, but there was a sense of satisfaction with that thought. The fact that I hadn’t wasted even an ounce of rubber. I had taken all the ground that tire could handle - even to the last foot. I used it completely. It served me to its absolute last breath…

Well done, tire…

I have heard Bill Johnson say that his entire life is being lived for a 3 second moment with God. He figures that’s about how long it takes to say “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Driving down the road this morning on new tires, I reflected again on the trip and the flat tire. I don’t know if there was any other reason to take that trip except to know that God has our back. We are learning – even today – that when you truly know and believe God has your back, you can live fully for Him.

So this morning, as I drove, I prayed, "Father, it is my sincerest heart cry that when I see You in heaven, You would have the same satisfied thought I had about my tire. 'I got everything out of Jason. I used him to the absolute last. He took every piece of ground, every mile, every foot he was destined to take. He gave all that he was, well done.' ”

"Northern Lights" link...

To all those we love... to all those who love us, or like us...even a little - Senior Pastor Question & Answer

2010-11-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

Karen and I are still praying about where we are called to give. While we have a confidence regarding how God sees us and what we are called too, we continue to investigate what this looks like practically. We have both looked at the possibility of planting a church - in several locations including where we now live - as well as candidate-ing.

We have looked at a few churches in areas that stir our hearts and that are searching for a pastor. That said, I recently filled out a questionnaire for a church. As I answered the questions, I gained more vision for what God is burning in my heart.

I have been teaching at our Church, The Branch, and have led worship when invited. I also am writing what I believe is the most important book I have written yet - maybe the most important book I will ever write. Its about our revelation of the Father and how it releases us into our identity as sons and daughters of a King - with access to all of our Father.

Well, much of that message that is burning in me, is evident in the answers I filled out in the church questionnaire. So, whether we are a fit for this church or not, I thought it would be a good blog post. I put some of the question and answers below.

Please keep praying for Karen and I as we seek and trust God in this new, exciting, and scary season. We love you guys and thank you for your continued support!

Please put in writing brief responses to the following questions and send with your application.

1. Please discuss your Christian testimony and faith journey.

I have attached my resume which includes my personal history in more depth. Briefly here, I grew up in a Christian home where Christ was the center. At age 5, I asked Jesus to be my savior my Lord and my best friend. I have been a follower of Christ since 1978.

2. Please outline your philosophy of church ministry and the role of preaching/teaching in your philosophy.

The church is the bride of Christ. We have one call and it is to establish Gods Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. Every question mankind is asking is answered in a greater revelation of Father God, of His love. We (the church) through Jesus, have access to this “greater revelation”. To know our Fathers love and become love is the calling of the church. This one truth is at the center of everything I teach.

3. What do you feel has been your most significant success in your ministry?

My family.

4. What are your strengths and weaknesses?

My core value is Gods presence. I believe that as we encounter Him, we are transformed into his likeness. In everything I do, that is my one driving reality - we must know more of Gods presence. I believe that is a strength...

I am not a details guy. That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the details, but I am a visionary and tend to see things from 30,000 ft. I work great with, and need these details people. And I can prove it with 15 years of marriage to a very beautiful details person.

5. Please describe a situation in the past where you have handled conflict and how you approached the issue.

How about this, I’ll give you my approach, if your heart leaps; I imagine we will talk more. I am committed to leading a free people. It’s about family. It’s about honor. As a leader, I am committed to releasing men and women into their identities as sons and daughters of the King of Kings. I want to raise up the kind of sons and daughters that all creation is eagerly awaiting. This means that my number one responsibility is to help people see the Father and then see themselves from His perspective. Sometimes this is uncomfortable and there is conflict.

I don’t mind conflict, that’s what happens where there is true relationship, and true freedom. Iron can’t sharpen iron if it never touches. With that understanding, Gal 6:1 says that we should be motivated in love and a spirit of gentleness.

Just so, I also have, and nurture, relationships with those who love me and will challenge me. And that’s just it, love must be the core value in the midst of conflict. Gods primary approach for repentance (changing the way you think) is kindness – a wonderful expression of love.

6. Are you more comfortable with an Arminian or a Reformed theological framework? Discuss why.

To be honest, I had to look these terms up - it’s been a long time since I finished Bible College. I would lean toward reformed. That said, God is infinitely wiser than me – and I’m good with that.

Here’s one thing I know, the bible says to make disciples of all nations, not some. So while I may not be absolutely sure regarding the predestined question (I'll leave that to my always good Father) I have my mandate - all.

7. Describe the governance role of a church, particularly as it relates to the role of Biblical Eldership and the function of the Pastor-Teacher Elder.

Corinthians 12:28 - And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues.

We live in a fatherless nation. The church is also experiencing fatherless-ness. I believe there is an apostolic model where the leader has one primary responsibility. To focus the churches eyes on the Father. Why, because our identity is determined by our Father.

When we know our heavenly Father, we know our identity, we know we are loved, we know we are protected, we know His provision, we know freedom - freedom to dream, risk and grow.

Every gift and ministry, prophetic, pastoral, educational, evangelistic - all of these gifts and ministries have grace and power when they are grounded in an always greater revelation of the Father. Its always about His presence first - that is what I believe is the biblical foundation for church governance and function.

9. Discuss your views of the Biblical purpose and role of the church and particularly speak to the role of morning worship service (i.e. Should the services exist for the edification of believers or focus more on evangelizing of the lost?)

The primary objective of the church and particularly the morning worship service is neither for edification of believers or for evangelizing the lost. The primary object of the church and the morning service is to glorify the Father and encounter His love. Edification and evangelism are by-products of encounters with Gods presence.

10. What is your understanding of the Global Outreach (Missions) mandate of Matthew 28 and the role of the local church in that mandate?

Jesus came for two reasons,:

First to buy back our identities. To remove the veil between us and our Father. The veil into the Holy of Holies (the representation of Gods presence) was literally torn in two.

Second, to reveal what we have access to when we know who we are as sons and daughters. Jesus came and lived 33 years on the earth to reveal what it looks like when a son can see his Father. He came to show us what we have access to now that the veil is removed - all that is God.

Jesus said he only did what he saw his Father doing. Jesus, love in human form, met every need that was presented to him. He healed the sick, lame, def, mute, and blind. He fed thousands, walked on water, calmed storms, and raised the dead. Everywhere he went, he set people free. John told us that if every story of Jesus life was written down, the world couldn’t contain the books.

This same Jesus told us that he would send His Holy Spirit and that because of the cross and resurrection, we would have the same access to His Father that he had. In fact he went even farther, he said that we could experience “a greater works than these (the works he was doing) lifestyle.”

Jesus also gave us our mission; he said pray “Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.” Then in Matthew he puts legs on the message: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

“All authority” is the key. Because the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead now lives in His believers. Jesus released that authority on His believers that we would look to heaven and release on earth what we see there. This is the calling and role of the church. It is our mandate to come into a greater revelation of the Father that we would know that everything our Father has is ours! And that we would then like Jesus supernaturally meet every need the world has. I am convinced that every question mankind has is answered in a greater revelation of our Fathers love.

Culture of Honor - Danny Silk

2010-10-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

The truths in this book cultivate a culture in which the glory of God can be fully realized in the life of every believer. The culture is one of honor and promotes freedom. In fact, this book is all about freedom. It challenges all believers but leaders in particular to take the same risk God has and trust that what Jesus did on the cross was for freedom and it was enough. This culture of honor, as Danny says is "the core value for creating a safe place where people can be free." In other words, creating a safe place where believers can learn how to be dangerous.

In my (and my wife's) opinion, this book is a must read for everyone and particularly for leaders. The idea that leaders are meant to lead a free people may seem obvious but it's a rare thing in the church today. This book graciously and relentlessly contends that a free people in alignment with Gods heart can radically change the world.

A culture of honor is a beautiful place of intimate relationship with the Father, where sons and daughters know their identity, are committed to each other, and have one goal - to see Gods Kingdom established on earth as it is in heaven.

I highly recommend this book!

- Jason

A Portrait of Jesus

2010-10-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

I will be teaching at the Branch's School of Ministry over the next four Wednesdays starting this week the 27th. Below is the heartbeat of the message. Come on out. www.branchchurch.org/school

If you have seen me, you have seen the Father.” This is what Jesus said about himself. I believe Jesus lived to reveal the Father and that we live to reveal Jesus. Matthew 6:22 tells us that if the eye is single the body is full of light. Jesus revealed this in how He lived. His revelation or view of the Father is what released him to be the expression of the Son. In focusing only on what he saw his father doing he showed us how to live. We will spend four weeks focusing our eye on Jesus that we might know our Father and become transformed into his likeness. In my opinion, that’s the only reason to study Jesus!

The Philosophy Professor

2010-10-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

I met a philosophy professor the other day. Well, actually I see him a few times a week. He frequents the same coffee shop I do. We have often caught each other’s eye over our laptops from across the room. It was just a matter of time before we struck up a conversation. He is a very nice man and very smart. Just like me, he is also writing a book and enjoys the coffee shop atmosphere.

I asked him what his book was about. He talked for a couple of minutes, and as best as I could tell, it seemed to be a book about nothing. At first I was impressed cause I’m pretty sure that writing a book about nothing is harder than writing about something.

I pressed him for a little more information. “Really, I am writing about the human condition,” he said. He then began to explain the state of mankind in such abstract terms that I really had a hard time following - “which is good if you are philosophy professor,” I thought.

“What is pain, what is joy or love?” He asked. “They are just feelings, particles bouncing off other particles - just chance. Nothing in this universe is sure; everything is determined by what you feel.”

“It really is a book about nothing.” I thought again…

He went on to say that man is the sum of what we feel - emotionally and physically. There is no great purpose or meaning to life and all our philosophies and theologies are simply the wild imagining of men who need to feel a sense of purpose. In the end life is simply about seeking joy and trying to avoid pain.

“So, it’s a book about nothing then?” I asked sadly. He smiled. It was a tired smile. “In a way, yes.” He said. I couldn’t think of anything to say, about his book. It was overwhelming, the idea of writing a book about nothing. I couldn’t even find a common denominator, as my sincerest prayer is that my book would be about something.

“So, how long have you been working on it?” I finally asked.

“For almost 20 years.”

He has been writing a book about nothing for almost 20 years! This broke my heart. That a man would write faithfully for 20 years is amazing. That a man can write about nothing for 20 years is excruciating.

It dawned on me as I stood there that if you’re writing about nothing, then its probably gonna take a long time. I felt sad for this tired man who seems to have been searching for some truth in a universe where he is convinced truth doesn’t exist.

I couldn’t take it anymore. So I asked him the question that should never be asked of a philosophy professor. “Where does God fit in.”

He was quick to both acknowledge that religion plays a role in philosophy but also that religion was for weak minded individuals.

“Good thing I didn’t tell him what I was writing about,” I thought.

But I hadn’t asked him about religion, I’d asked about God. He had done what many often do and confused the two as being one and the same. So I tried the same question from a different angle. “Where does love fit in?”

He looked at me - he seemed exhausted, as if this question was just too much, “Love is a subjective feeling.” He responded.

“But what if it isn’t…” I asked. “What if love is the very foundation of everything? What if Love is the beginning and the end and everything in between?”

He just looked at me.

What if Love created everything? What if Love saw what He had created and said, “It is good.” Which is something Love would probably say. What if Love has all authority but not all control, as Love does not control because Love is about freedom. What if Love set you free, free to be loved and to love? What if Love wasn’t just a feeling but a tangible expression of that same freedom? What if Love could be truly known by every person on earth? What if Love was a person who walked the earth and gave love away to any who would receive?

These thoughts ran through my heart. But I didn’t know how to express them any clearer than the questions I had already posed.

But thinking about it now, it sure would be a great idea for his book! Love. It’s a profoundly infinite and beautiful subject. Another writer once put it this way, “If every one of (the things Love did) was written down, I suppose the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.” (John 22:25)

If only my new Philosophy Professor friend new this love, well, then he could know what it is to write with purpose. He could spend the next twenty years trying to fill the world with books about something.

Before he packed up to go he asked what I was writing about. I told him that I was writing about love and that I too would never be finished writing.

He said he would like to hear more about it sometime...

The Right Question

2010-10-06T11:40:00.000-07:00

I have three kids, Eva is my youngest and she is at an age where I am beginning to get the questions. You know, like when I give her a bowl of soup and say “Honey do you want some crackers for your soup?”

“Why?”

“Cause these crackers taste good in soup.”

“Why?”

“Cause they are yummy soup crackers.”

“Why?”

“Because the soup cracker ferry made them yummy for soup.”

“What color is the soup cracker ferries dress?”

“Blue.”

“No daddy, its pink and purple.”

If you are a parent or have ever spoken to a child, you have laughed, sighed, had your patience stretched, and your heart expanded while answering a question.

If you are a parent or have ever spoken to a child, you know this next statement to be true. There is such a thing as a dumb question. You also know that if the question is sincere then there is no such thing as a dumb question. Its how children learn.

If you are a parent or have ever spoken to a child, you also know that the question reveals an awful lot about what your child already does and doesn’t comprehend and who he or she is becoming. You also know that when giving an answer, you have to speak in the language of your child. This is determined by their age and experience.

Lastly, if you are a parent or have ever spoken to a child, you have often responded to you child’s question with a question of your own. “

“Mom, how do you spell dog?”

“What says “da?” “da?”
or,
“A, B, C? …”

Why do we do this, because the question positions our kids for the answer. It’s meant to help them to learn how to process and find the answer themselves. It’s about helping them mature.

I have learned that when it comes to a sincere question, God absolutely loves them. This is evidenced in the life of Jesus. Have you ever noticed that Jesus rarely answers a question directly? When he is asked questions, often his response is to either tell a story –parable- or ask his own question.

Even when he was just speaking to someone, he almost always raised huge questions. He told Nicodemus that to enter the Kingdom of heaven, he would have to be born again. He told a large crowd that, unless they ate of his flesh and drank of his blood, they had no life in them. While we now know what Jesus meant, at the time, these were inconceivable thoughts that raised lots of questions.

So why did Jesus often respond to questions with either stories or questions of His own? I would like to suggest that questions are one of the best ways to communicate with a free people. And Jesus was absolutely intent on releasing people into greater freedom.

God loves, and when I say loves, I mean absolutely without even the slightest hint of deviation, our freedom. He will not compromise even a fraction when it comes to protecting freedom. It is the foundation upon which everything operates. Why is freedom so important, because it’s the atmosphere in which love can exist. And love is the whole point. Our freedom was what Jesus died to protect, it’s what the cross was all about. It’s the biggest thing that’s ever existed because it’s the soil in which love can be cultivated.

Jesus doesn’t tell free people the answer; he helps them devise a better question. So, He tells stories, He asks his own questions. Along the way He challenges how we think and if we are hungry for an answer, we begin to reform our questions until our mind is, in a word, renewed.

How do you get a renewed mind, you keep asking questions until your questions align with His question. Until at some point you ask the right question. The right question is the one that has power in it. It’s the question that releases the answer, transformation. It’s the question that resonates in heaven.

Jesus came to reveal the Father. That was the whole purpose of his years on earth. He told us that if we have seen Him, we have seen the Father. To truly see Him, we have to learn how to ask the right questions until our perspective is aligned with heavens perspective. Does that make sense?

There is a moment when you ask the question that aligns with the heart of God. And that’s the whole point of asking questions. It’s a search for what is in heaven, what is in Gods heart, so that we can live out His answer here on earth. When you ask God the right question, the answer comes with revelation and power. It sets you free to know His love in greater measure. That’s the whole point of freedom, that’s why it’s so huge.

I am learning that my whole walk with God is about asking the right questions. And God seems intent on helping me with questions of his own. I have learned that when I ask a question, if it’s sincere, it reveals what I know, what I’m missing and where I want to go. And when a question is asked in sincerity, it has power to transform.

For instance, years ago my family and I felt God call us into an unsalaried full time ministry position. While I was in a deep discussion with Jesus and with thousands of dollars in the bank I asked, “God, how do I pay my bills?” He answered like he almost always does, with a question of his own. “Do you trust me?”

I spent the next five years learning how to live in His question and along the way I asked many more of my own until one day I asked a question that shifted everything. I was deep in discussion with Jesus and with just four dollars in the bank I asked “Father, what is on Your heart for today?”

That was the right question and the answer was beautiful... If you are curious, part of it is happening as I write this.

One last thought…

The right question leads to a renewed mind, a renewed mind is the precursor to breakthrough. That word breakthrough, its one we all love, its a wonderful word. It’s the desire of all believers to experience breakthrough in every area of our lives. It’s a prayer prayed daily by millions, “Father release breakthrough in my family, my workplace, in my friends Fox Hollow Coffee house in Orting WA; Lord release breakthrough, I want all that is on your heart for today!”

I am learning that the way we experience breakthrough is by asking the right question. Please hear me cause I think this is big; breakthrough is a position or place in the heart of God. It’s a revelation birthed from God encounter after God encounter. It’s not found in a magic prayer or a good desire or hard work. Breakthrough is found in the process of asking the right question. The right question sets up God and positions our hearts for the answer. God knows we can’t handle a breakthrough until our hearts have become positioned in our Father, until our hearts have been transformed into the likeness of our Fathers.

God wants to answer the question! Everything in the heart of God wants to answer the question! And God values us so much that he waits until our hearts are positioned for the answer, until our question reverberates with the answer that is in His heart.

If its sincere, there's no such thing as a dumb question. Keep asking questions until your perspective is aligned with the heart of God. Keep asking questions until you get the answer that releases heaven into your life.

Love is Always an Encounter Before its a Decision

2010-10-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

I read a Donald Miller blog years ago where he wrote about how his blog is the first sounding board to the book he is writing. I liked that and am endeavoring to do the same. Right now I am thrilled to be writing about our identities as sons and daughters of an always good and loving Father.

Over the coming months and probably years, I will post thoughts here. For me, I know I have something when I can communicate it in a way that releases life. That’s my heart; so if something I write seems harsh or off the wall, love me enough to tell me. I may disagree with you but I wont bite. Please know that I am writing opinions and suggestions.

Below are some thoughts that God is working in me regarding becoming love – which is really what this breathing oxygen is all about…in my opinion…

Love is Always an Encounter Before its a Decision

Love is always an encounter before it’s a decision. The encounter is the point, if its not, the decision to love can never be made. We love because He first loved us. Our love is a response to an encounter with His love. From our encounter we can decide to love but in all honesty, the decision to love is not the goal of a believers life, it’s the first stepping-stone to our destiny.

We were not saved by love so that we could decide to love. We were saved by love so that we could become love. If you become love, you don’t have to decide to love, its just who you are.

In many ways throughout my life, I have placed my focus on the decision to love. At these times I have almost elevated it above the encounter. What I have learned is that when I do this, I relegate, demote and dis-empower His love. A love birthed from a decision has less power to transform than a love birthed from an encounter.

I am not saying that the decision to love is bad, it’s absolutely astounding and we must perfect it. I’m simply saying that from my own experience, if I stop encountering His love, my decision to love becomes sterile. In fact, loving God or others becomes an overwhelming impossibility. I have learned that I cant fully love without first encountering His. We love because we are first loved.

I love my wife Karen, and yes, there have been moments in my life where I have not felt it and had to make a decision to love her. But that is not nor should it ever be the norm in a love relationship. As Karen and I grow in love, having to "decide" has decreased. I believe that before we enter heaven we will have so encountered love that having to make a decision to love will have long since gone extinct - at least, that's the goal, hey, its how God loves us...

I use my relationship with my wife to show what happens when two people chose to love each other like God loves. My heart here is to reveal that the power of our love is birthed in the encounter with love. If Karen and my relationship became solely about a decision, eventually we would stop having love encounters. A marriage without true love encounters is not fun and eventually deteriorates to nothing more than a legal partnership.

It’s the same with God; a relationship without true love encounters is simply religious formality. My prayer is that God would daily reveal his love to me. And not just that but also that he would give me eyes to see it and the heart to experience it...........

Bill-ieve

2010-09-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

Ethan is my son and this Sunday we will do what fathers and sons do all over America. We will sit down in front of the television. We will wear our hearts on our sleeves. Our sleeves will be red, white and blue; the colors of “North Americas Team” – Thanks TO.

Yes, once again Ethan and I will make our hearts vulnerable to heartbreak. You see, once again, it’s time to Bill-ieve.

God, don’t you think its time? Maybe this year my son can cheer a winner? Maybe this year I can cheer a winner? God?

Go Bills!!

To all those we love… to all those who love us… or even like us a little…

2010-08-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

To everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season…

One of the things I have been faithfully doing for the last five years is selling doors. I’ve been good at it. I’ve been steadfast. On the last day of August, I will step away from doors. It will be hard, it will be good.

Three years ago God told me he could see me... pastoring - well, that's the best word I can come up without writing a book... Anyway, I thought it was odd, I couldn’t see it. I was astonished but in a good way. You know, the way you get when someone tells you look like a sexy movie star. If God see’s you a certain way and you and God are best friends, it doesn’t take long until you start getting glimpses of yourself the way He sees you.

In September, Karen and I are trusting. We have lots of stories from the “there” to the “here” that confirm how God sees us and that now is the time. We have peace and it’s the kind that’s been tested. This is a step into a new season; God likened it to the crossing of the Jordan.

This is a message to those we love and who love us. We are not sure if we are called to plant, candidate, or serve in some other capacity. We don’t even have a “where”.

We do however have a “with who. “ I am licensed with “The River.” It is an extension of Bethel Church in Redding California of which Bill Johnson is the Pastor. Karen and I are headed to a pastor’s conference in Sept and believe it an awesome first step.

So if you think of us fondly, or even fleetingly, pray with us as we learn to live in this new season!

Love you guys!

He Loves Me Best - July 2010

2010-08-06T23:46:00.000-07:00

The word is on the Branch Website. Click Here

"A relationship where the son is always desperate for the father is dysfunctional"

2010-08-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

Graham Cooke recently said “A relationship where the son is always desperate for the father is dysfunctional.” Jesus did not have a dysfunctional relationship with his Father. He was sure, He was grounded in a revelation of his Father that released Him to be the expression of the Son.

Jesus was always Gods Son. In every situation, every circumstance, He was Gods Son…

And because He clearly saw the Father He clearly was the Son. When you clearly see the father you are set free to become the expression of his son or daughter. The truth sets us free.

For instance, if Jesus were under the false impression that God brought storms into peoples lives to teach lessons; He would not have been free to calm the storm.

If Jesus had been under the false impression that its in Gods nature to release sickness on mankind to punish them for sin, He would not have been free to heal.

If Jesus had been under the impression that death was final, He would not have been free to rise and live again. The resurrection was directly related to the fact that Jesus was Gods Son and that He lived in the fullness of that revelation. Therefore, for the joy set before Him (the truth of the resurrection and the release of mankind’s true identity once and for all) He endured the cross.

Because Jesus was sure in who the father was, He was also sure in who He was. This is what set Him free to “be.” He was love, perfectly displayed for all eternity to bear witness. All of heaven and earth from before the foundations to the last day gave a resounding yes and amen!

Jesus came to show us what it is to “be.” He came to reveal what mankind has access to through a greater revelation of the Father - mankind's true identity. We have all been born into a crisis of identity. This crisis is only resolved in a greater revelation of the Father.

Jesus knew what to do and how to live because he knew who he was. He walked confidently within his destiny. A person can’t know his or her destiny if they don’t know who they are. Our assignment and our destiny are wrapped up in our identity.

I have lived most of my life reacting to my circumstances. But Jesus only did what he saw his father doing. Therefore, even when he was caught by surprise, He never reacted to the situation, He responded from who He was. While I have often found myself reacting to the unknown out of insecurity, Jesus responded to the unknown in a greater revelation of the Father. Because he knew the father, He was secure in who He was and therefore his response was powerful - miraculous.

Jesus never reacted to accusation, he responded out of who he was. He never reacted to sickness he responded out of who he was. He never reacted to death, he responded out of who he was…

Jesus was in the Father and the Father was in Him. The Father lives outside of time, He is the beginning and the end. Therefore, Jesus with a greater revelation of His father, was able to respond to death on a cross in the power of the resurrection.

This is huge! I believe Jesus was able to endure the cross because He was already living within the revelation and power of the resurrection!

A greater revelation of the Father reveals a greater understanding of who we are. As we know our Father, we step into our identity. The closer we walk with God the closer we are to our assignment. Life becomes a response out of who we are and not a reaction…

...part, 47-E

The Jump

2010-07-19T20:15:00.000-07:00

Bird watching and sky diving

2010-07-17T10:58:00.000-07:00

I pulled this off my dads blog this morning... It so much fun hearing about our skydiving adventure yesterday from his perspective...

Things change as you age. Judson Cornwall used to talk about young love being exciting and old love being soothing. Bi-focals, fake teeth, spare parts and taste buds....speaking of taste buds, hot fudge sundaes can now be interchanged with peas and carrots... and roller coasters with bird watching. Speaking of bird watching, a few years back Mary bought me a bird feeder for Christmas. It was green and had a perch for the birds to sit on and enjoy the sun flower seeds. When the snakes and squirrels jumped on it, it would close. Speaking of snakes, the bird feeder would bring some pretty amazing snakes into the yard as well and that's where the bird feeder became the best of entertainment.

Any-way, I was speaking of Christmas... Joel not knowing the true adventure that could be found in bird feeders thought mom's gift was a little lame. And he purchased a sky diving ticket for me with an expiration date.

Joel lives a little over the top but is hasn't always been that way. His place of being the youngest and cutest kid in the family was stolen from him at the age of twelve. That was when he became the middle child and a whole lot less significant. He fixed all of that by consciously choosing to live life on the edge. So when Joel is around we all are required to live there with him or feel insignificant ourselves. That's why when Joel moved to Africa, it was good for all of us.

But periodically he would come home and everything would change for a couple of weeks. A couple of years back he booked a wild water rafting trip for us all. It was also at Christmas and both the water and air temperature were close to freezing. Anyone who protested at the idea of riding a raft through nearly freezing rapids was quickly labeled and would become the brunt in the newest st

I actually have great memories of white water rafting but they were always in the summer. Needless to say as I am gracefully aging, what I remember as being an exhilarating experience turned into a horror movie.

The scenes of my life passed quickly before my eyes and I knew it was over. I wasn't only freezing to death, I was drowning as I was being swept on my rear end through the last of the number four's and five's in a series of rapids. It was at least the sixth time we had been thrown out of the boat. We couldn't just ride the sane larger boats, no we must experience the river in all of it's power and glory in the smaller, unstable, properly named, rodeo boats. Our guide was primarily interested in the opportunities presented to him when the boat would roll and lose it's occupants. By the last time of throwing us in the water he had proudly learned how to be king of the boat.

After an hour of standing in the hot shower bringing my body temperature back to normal I began to meditate on why I would actually feel compelled to join in the fun when I could be at home watching the birds.

Knowing my love for birds Joel decided that buying me a sky diving ticket would bring him back into his place of honor and respect in the family.

He called the other day and told me it was now or never. The ticket he had purchased a few years back would expire if not used. Reality began to sink in and I knew I had to follow through. It had been haunting me for the past three years.

Only today as I look back can I enjoy what transpired yesterday. I grinned at myself in the mirror this morning.

Yesterday I was plummeting towards earth at one hundred miles an hour with the pain of jet engines screaming in my ears. As the shoot opened and the calm took effect I was in contortions with the pain of not just the sound but the pressure produced from the five thousand foot drop. I have also found that aging has made my ears a whole lot more sensitive. Everything about the experience was uncomfortable. The straps were binding, cutting off the air. My goggles were fogging up, sweat pouring off my face. I was sitting on the lap of a young man for the ten thousand foot climb in a stifling hot 1957 model Sesna, trying to make light talk. "How are the kids. Do to you like jumping?" He mentioned he enjoyed the previous jump with the twenty eight year old hottie on his lap a lot more. I could understand that.

The view out the door was amazing. I was in the zone. Jason was right behind us waiting for us to roll out into the wind. My stomach was in my throat and one, two three we were off. I don't remember seeing any birds on the way down.

Today I am back home with my bird feeder. Mary and I are both relieved to have this experience in our rear view mirror and I'm relishing the memory of my close brush with death again. Joel is coming for a visit next week. I am planning a bird watching expedition. I think he'll like that.

I have started dreaming...again

2010-07-07T13:29:00.000-07:00

“And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.” Joel 2:28

Dreaming,

When we were young we had visions. We treated them like dreams but most of the time they were visions… God allowed us to live in the ache, be compelled by the longing, chase them down, and fall short… to cast greater vision, to struggle, to taste love, intimacy, and also failure…

And we grew.

And if we chose to not be offended by our failures, to not be ashamed by our short fall, if we chose surrender and intimacy, we began to be transformed by His love. Our hearts began to beat in sync with His, our words began to release heaven and our lives began to yield love - until our vision began to reveal His.

And that’s when our closest and dearest friend, Jesus, comes to us and say’s “dream again”

There is such authority in the dream of the “old” man or woman who has already “dreamed” and failed. Who has risked it all and come up short and been transformed into the likeness of Christ through the process.

“Old man” is not defined by age, but experience; its a heart condition. Its those men and women who have gone “all in” for God and missed it; the “Peters” who used a sword to advance a kingdom that could only be advanced through Jesus becoming the sheath.

Most of us have had a Peter experience. We've carried and acted on a vision or "dream" that ended in failure, in death.

But now, on the other side, when the "visionary" is battered and lonely and the scars are not quite healed, our closest and dearest friend, Jesus, is coming to us and saying, “I want you to dream again”...

Young men have visions so they can learn how to dream. Old men dream and the power of that dreaming releases heaven into the atmosphere.

A true dream, one that is birthed in the heart of an “Old Man”, carries with it authority and power. The person who has experienced the death of a vision, who has laid the dream on the cross, has access to the power of the resurrection. When he dreams again, he dreams the dreams of heaven. A dream that is birthed in heaven has power to transform earth, it can change a city, a nation, it has eternal significance.

Jesus said "greater works" and told us that his heart in us was dreaming beyond "what we could ask or imagine." Jesus life on earth, the high water mark that no one has yet attained, is meant to be surpassed!

I believe one way it is surpassed is when “old men” are willing to dream in the area of past failure. This is the place where the dreams carry the power of the resurrection.

Start dreaming again, we need you!

Imaginary Jesus

2010-07-06T23:16:00.000-07:00

So I read “Imaginary Jesus.” It was given to me in the hope that I might read it... and then share my thoughts…

If you thought Seinfeld’s “Soup Nazi” episode was funny then you will enjoy Matt’s irreverent sense of humor. I smiled out loud a couple times! This guy is someone you would want to watch old episodes of “Highway to Heaven” with. In fact, that’s not a bad idea Matt, “Mystery Science Theater 4000 with Matt Mikalatos”

The book follows Matt’s journey from religion to relationship. Along the way Matt pokes fun at all the ugly religious idols in his life and maybe in the life of his reader as well.

In the book, Matt struggles with a painful experience and countless interactions with religion. He finds that he has settled for an imaginary Jesus instead of the intimate indwelling presence of Jesus. Matt’s biggest struggle however, is the age old struggle wrapped up in "that" question, the one that snags unbelievers (both saved and unsaved), the one that screams at us after we have experienced hurt, disappointment or heartache. The question? “How can a good God allow bad things to happen.”

In the end Matt experiences Gods one of a kind love for him and his family - A love that is always good, that redeems and restores even if it doesn’t answer every question, even if it doesn’t answer “that” question.

Matt doesn’t really answer “that” question either. Instead he learns to live in the wonder and pain and risk and mystery. He begins to live loved and finds, that even in the hard seasons, God is good and his love is enough.

Funny and insightful, I enjoyed the read.

Thanks Matt!

Surrendered And Untamed Trailer

2010-06-21T16:21:00.001-07:00

Check out the trailer to S&U!

Becoming Like You - Sundays two track recording

2010-06-14T17:25:00.000-07:00

This song is just burning up my heart. Its with me when I wake and when I go to bed. This was recorded at the Branch worship two weeks back. Its just two tracks but it gives an idea of what its morphed into musically. Its the first time I led it, so lots of vocal prompts.

I first posted this song three weeks ago but thought Id post this recording as the chord progression has slightly changed and its been developed a bit. The recording starts at the chorus.

Click Here to hear it

Ive been Your echo
Ive been Your shadow
But my heart is to know You so I can be Your voice
Ive stood on mountains
Ive knelt in valleys
From glory to glory my heart will always be Yours

I'm becoming like You
I’m becoming like You
Its the cry of my heart my King
That I’d display Your majesty

I'm becoming like you
I'm becoming like you
Let Your love be all I know
Till Your glory becomes my own

Surrendered & Untamed Cover Art!!!

2010-06-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

Well, its happening! Starting to feel real. You can actually find the book on Amazon, crazy right? Here is the approved cover art for all three pieces. I have one more content edit and then a copy edit. Fun!

The two below are for the Participants Guide and DVD.

I Want A Home - A Prayer

2010-05-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

Lord, You said you would give us the desires of our hearts. Hear my heart today…

I want a home - a place where men and women can love You together, dream about and implement revival - Your Kingdom here and now. I want a home where we can play - both in the natural and the spiritual. I want a home where we can host Your presence, where we can host the church, a home that can elevate believers and release them into the world.

I want a home where worship is as natural as breathing – a place where the songs of heaven are released to Your sons and daughters. I want a home where there is freedom to create. A home where the wonder and beauty of Your love can be expressed through the individual believer.

I want a home where there is peace, where You are breathed in the atmosphere, where healing and restoration are daily expressions of salvation. I want a home where believers learn risk because they know love intimately. I want a home where rest is a way of life.

I want a home where the prophetic is released so that we would know who we are, a home where revelation is imparted – that we would know in greater measure Your love and our identity.

I want a home where my kids can know and become love - where their hopes can be inspired by You – where they can have greater access to an open heaven.

I want a home… Amen

New Song - I'm Becoming Like You

2010-05-21T23:15:00.000-07:00

It isn't an interesting melody or a unique rhythm and it needs some production but I wanted to put it up as the lyrics to this song are the cry of my heart - God that I would become like you.

Ive been Your echo
Ive been Your shadow
But my heart is to know You so I can be Your voice
Ive stood on mountains
Ive knelt in valleys
From glory to glory my heart will always be Yours

I'm becoming like You
I’m becoming like You
Its the cry of my heart my King
That I’d display Your majesty

I'm becoming like you
I'm becoming like you
Let Your love be all I know
Till Your glory becomes my own

The Open Table - The Presence - Chapter 3 day 4 - The Original Version

2010-05-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

When we bought our last house it was late fall and most of the leaves had fallen off the trees. Everything was bare. When spring arrived the trees started to bud and it was then that we noticed our neighbor’s tree was dead. During the winter it looked like every other tree in the neighborhood but once spring hit, it stood in stark contrast to the life all around us.

Regardless of species, trees all have one thing in common; the first sign of life is always the budding leaf. Some trees go on to bear tastier fruits like apples or walnuts, but the first fruit of a tree is its leaves.

The Bible refers to God as a vine and us, the church, as the branches. John 15:4 says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

The vine, God, is always about producing life. In fact, Jesus refers to himself as “life” in John 14:6. So its pretty straight forward, a love relationship with life (God) will bear fruit. And if we engage Gods love, we enter into fruit bearing life. If we say yes to love we are saying yes to life.

So what’s life look like, well, its green and leafy and sometimes there are apples or walnuts. Life is about fruit. Or maybe I should say it this way. Fruit is the evidence of life. My neighbor’s tree, the one without the leaves, it was dead.

Ok Jason, I’m with you, so love bears fruit, how does that apply to community? Well, I’m so glad you asked…

There is another scripture in the Bible that talks about what a community grounded in love looks like using the metaphor of fruit. It say’s, “…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…” (Galatians 5:22-23)

A love community is essentially a place that models the fruits of the Spirit. Love always bears fruit, so love communities will always have signs that point to life. A love community will have evidence of Gods presence and that evidence looks like the fruit described in Galatians 5:22-23.

I think when we look for a community to make our own, when we seek mentors, brothers and sisters to live the journey with, we are looking for a people marked by Gods presence, a community with evidence of Galatians 5 fruit.

When I look for a place to find community, I want to know that we are pursuing the same thing – Gods presence. A community is simply a group of people running together toward a common purpose and the purpose of a love community is always the presence of God. I’m not saying we have to agree on everything, true community is not about conformity but transformation - it’s about being transformed into the image of Christ.

If you want to know what Gods presence looks like in a community, look for evidence of the fruits of His Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the revealed presence of God and it always looks like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are the attributes of a love community and this scripture gives us practical mile markers for what community is meant to look like.

When it comes to fruit, be it the leaf, apple or walnut, it takes time. Fruit doesn’t just happen over night. A community of love may not exhibit all the fruits - it’s a journey. But if the presence of God is the central pursuit, there will always be evidence of life.

I encourage you to find and nurture a community of love that is practicing Galatians 5. I encourage you in all things to always seek his presence.

The Open Table - Cover Art

2010-05-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

Here it is, the cover art for "The Open Table" This is the DVD but the book design is the same - and no, my name is not on that cover either but I really did write it, I promise.

While there where at least 25 people interviewed for the project, (Its a discipleship guidebook and film in a small group format for new believers) my dad, my daughter and I made it onto the cover. I'm thinking that the folks at Thomas Nelson have a good eye for lookers...or something.

The book releases in August.

The Good News

2010-05-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

This is another edit from "The Open Table" releasing in August...

In the early church, the story of Jesus’ love was known as “the good news,” or “the Gospel.” And in Romans 1:16, Paul says about this gospel that it is “the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.” There was a wonderful thing happening in those early days- still is happening today in fact. The love of God was and is being experienced first hand. The distant God found through religion was suddenly a close
God found in relationship. It is called salvation. Its a beautiful word - salvation.

It is also a word that has been used so often by believers that I think much of its wonder sometimes gets lost. Salvation or “saved” in the New Testament comes from the Greek word sozo, which means, delivered, restored, healed and made whole. Think about it for a moment. When we asked Jesus to be our best friend, when we invited him into our hearts and made him Lord of our life we got saved. Right? And it was an all-encompassing life changing event – this salvation we are talking about.

And the word we use for this decision, for this experience is saved. It’s a good word and true. We once were lost, now we are found. We once were dead and now we are raised with Christ, we are alive. We once were destined to a life of empty striving and now we are promised a day in day out love story where grace and mercy color a purpose filled life adventure.

But how many of us have simply applied the word saved to mean, we no longer are going to hell when we die? That’s not the only power of the gospel. What Paul was saying is that healing, deliverance, restoration; these are all available to those who believe. That’s pretty good news if you ask me.

Its the believing that Jesus loves us that leads us to salvation and this salvation releases us to the power that is the love of God - His goodness, grace, mercy, hope, peace and joy – its all available to us regardless of life’s circumstances. That’s good news! Good news for me and for you, for your friend and their friends and their friends friends…

Buried Treasure

2010-04-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

This blog is actually from the book "The Open Table - An Invitation To Walk With God" which releases with Thomas Nelson in August. Its a Donald Miller project. It is designed for small groups with two films and accompanying guidebooks. I had the incredible honor of writing the second guidebook - well I wrote it first, then the editors did the editing. Due to the way the project was set up I had no involvement in the editing.

This was meant to introduce the chapter titled "On Earth As It Is In Heaven." I think this would have been better than what ended up being edited in. But that's why we have blogs right? I actually will be posting several of the cuts in my blog over coming weeks.

Buried Treasure

Matt 13:46 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

There was once a fella who knew of a treasure that was buried in a field. This treasure was greater than any treasure any mind could conceive. It was beyond imagination. The treasures name was “The Way, The Truth and The Life” (John 14:6).

This fella was so excited about the treasure that he sold everything he owned - right down to the clothes on his back. He gave all that he was and all that he had and naked he went to his field. He began to dig. And there he found his treasure and it was a Kingdom. It was a greater Kingdom than I can describe but I will try nonetheless.

This Kingdom was built on love. In fact, the King of this Kingdom was love (1Cor 13:13). The Kingdoms greatest power was found in joy, which was engaged through believing. Everything about the Kingdom was good. There was no evil in the Kingdom, not even a single drop - not a sliver. There was no sickness or sadness in this Kingdom and because this Kingdom was founded on love, all sorrow was redeemed and restored to joy. In this kingdom all things always worked to good. (Rom 8:28)

Amazingly, this fella, the one who went digging in the nude, well, he became an heir and citizen in this Kingdom. In essence, he was reborn and became a new creation taking on the very nature of His King - love. He was given new clothes and they fit him like a glove. These clothes were righteous and this fella was marvelous to behold because he had the love of His King in Him. Because he became an heir, this fella had access to every aspect of the Kingdom.

This Kingdom had a creed. It was known as the good news. The King spoke it often and the fella’s heart leaped with joy to hear it! It went like this “Thy Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt 6:10).

This next part may seem odd but it is true and truly astounding – over time this fella who became an heir of the King, well, he found that wherever he stepped the King and His Kingdom went with him. Then one day it dawned on the fella that this is why he existed – to know the Kings love and to establish his Kingdom of Love wherever he went…

Ok, I don’t know if you guessed it yet but that fella, he’s me. But wait there’s more. I would like to suggest that the fella, well, he is also you…

At the age of five I found my treasure. I gave Jesus all of me and I asked him into my heart. At that moment, I became an heir of the King and I gained citizenship to the same Kingdom I just described. Since then I have been discovering just how amazing this King and His Kingdom is. Since then, I have been discovering what it means to be an heir of the King and citizen of His Kingdom.

Some refer to this moment in a person’s life as “salvation.” Yep, that’s a good word for it. But it’s not just a moment. Since the age of five, I have been learning that Salvation is the most beautiful of life’s miracles. I once was dead, now I’m alive! I once was clothed in self-centered ignorance, I’m now clothed in love and righteousness. I once was a citizen of a fallen kingdom, I now am a citizen of Heaven (Phil 3:20). What makes the miracle of salvation so much more amazing is the fact that it doesn’t end there. Our salvation is not the end of our story; it’s the beginning of a new one.

If I may put it this way, after saying yes to Jesus, salvation is not only the answer, it’s the question. The question salvation asks is, “how shall we now live?” Most of my life I have understood salvation as an assurance of heaven after I die. Well, yes, that’s true, but I’m discovering that there’s so much more. You see, I am saved to bring heaven to earth while I’m alive.

Just like that fella who bought the field, I have met the King and am taking on His identity as my own. I am becoming love and because of this love, I have His creed burned on my heart… “Thy Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.”

I believe that if you have asked Jesus into your heart, the journey from here on is about discovering the Kings love, who you are within the context of that love and how to live out that love daily.

The Mexican Hamburger, The Beach, & A Moral?

2010-02-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

The Mexican Hamburger

Karen had to be as exhausted as I was. We had flown all night up from Mexico City. Our flights had been substantially lower in cost if we flew out of Toronto, so even though it was a three hour drive from Rochester NY, that’s what we did.

It had been a great mission trip and we were ready to be home and snuggle into a real bed together. We were newly married and had spent a week sleeping in separate tents cause the missionaries we went with were apparently from the 1800,s and “we didn’t want to have any appearance of impropriety,” whatever that means.

We had spent a week up in the hills of a small Mexican town and had been a part of a medical mission. Seeing as neither of us had any credentials in that department we spent our days in practical serving and prayer. We spent our nights freezing in our flimsy sleeping bags, alone. Though the weather was a perfect 70 degrees in the day at night it was colder than a naked Eskimo…Now if only I could make money writing similes...

Karen had also played a large role in preparing our meals with the local women. We had a great time with the name of each of the meals as every meal had the same ingredients, tortillas and beans. Tortilla pancakes for breakfast, with beans! Tortilla sandwiches for lunch, with beans! And tortilla hamburgers for dinner, with beans!

When the mission was done we caught a bus back to Mexico City for our flight home. Needless to say, we all were ready for a good meal at a restaurant. The missionary leading the trip took us to one of his favorite spots before heading to the airport. The menu was in Spanish but its pretty obvious if your looking for it, hamburguesa.

The other thing that had been haunting my cold lonely dreams for a week, hamburguesa!

I asked our team leader if he thought the hamburgers were safe to eat. He shrugged, “Yeah, they should be fine.”

The hamburger didn’t taste right but I ate it anyway. Why? Cause it wasn’t tortillas and beans, I guess; and also, I trusted our team leader.

We caught taxi’s to the airport and after several hours waiting on the tarmac because of mechanical difficulties, we finally headed home.

As I already mentioned, it was an all night flight in which neither my new bride or myself could sleep. We finally arrived in Canada and said goodbye to everyone we had missionary-ed with. Then we caught a shuttle to our car and started the three-hour drive home.

I wasn’t feeling good, I was dizzy, light headed and exhausted but figured it was due to the sleepless night, not bad hamburguesa. Even though I could hardly keep my eyes open I told Karen I would drive; it’s what new husbands do. She let me, its what new wives do.

Karen drifted off. About half an hour into the drive I had already used every tick I knew to fight sleep. The exhaustion seemed oddly overwhelming. I couldn’t understand why. I had done much longer trips with less faintness. At one point I almost pulled over to ask Karen if she would drive. But I thought, “If I’m this tired, she must be as well.” So I soldiered on. We were driving in a flat farmland section of highway when I saw it. It was out in the field to the right of the highway.

It was a rabbit. But this was no ordinary rabbit; it was three stories high and about half a football field long. It was bright pink and it was made out of marshmallow. It looked like a Peeps. You know, those marshmallow candies that are sold during the Easter season.

At first I was awed by the sheer size. Then I became terrified as it looked at me and jumped once, twice and landed directly in front of our car. I jerked the steering wheel violently fishtailing the car onto the right shoulder while slamming my breaks bringing the car to a screeching halt.

Karen woke up screaming. “What? What happened?” I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, the rabbit was still there. It just sat there, in the middle of the road, watching me. “What happened? Did we get a flat? Are you OK? JASON?!”

I finally looked at Karen and said, “A huge pink peeps bunny just jumped out on the road in front of us.” And then “I think you better drive”…

The Beach

A year and a half ago we went on a family vacation to the beach. At the time Eva was two. Weeks before going on this vacation the whole family told her about the ocean. The entire drive to the coast we told her about the ocean. She was primed for big water. When we checked into the 30-story beachfront hotel we immediately went out onto our balcony 18 stories up to finally show Eva the unending body of water. Her eyes took it in and she understood. The ocean was big.

If you have been on vacation with small kids at a beach then you know it can easily take an hour from the moment you decide to go swimming to the moment you actually leave the hotel room. Especially if you have Anglo Saxon skin like we do. Bathing suites need to go on, boogie boards need to be gathered, towels need to be accounted for and sunscreen needs to be lathered in generous amounts upon every surface that could even possibly see sun.

Along the way, the kids become almost unbearable. There understanding of “be patient” is waiting 3 minutes between asking when we were going swimming. While we prepared Eva got caught up in her older brother and sisters euphoric expectation. The kids would run to the balcony and look at the “osen” as Eva called it and laugh. Then they would find us to ask if we were ready and when could we go.

Finally it was time to head out. We stared out the door and I called for Eva. There was no response. I walked through the Hotel rooms and found her naked in the master bathroom trying to get into the tub. I asked her what she was doing and she said, “Bath daddy.”

My daughter wandering through the rooms, upon seeing the bathtub, forgot about ocean. She had removed her bathing suite and was preparing for a bath. She was more than willing to trade the ocean she had not experienced for the familiarity of the tub.
Water is water right?

Suddenly God spoke to my heart and said, Jason the promises I have for you are the size of the ocean, don’t get distracted by bathtubs.

A Moral?

Just cause you are hungry for a hamburger doesn’t mean you should eat the first one available. And further more, if its not tasting right, for goodness sake, stop eating it.

And

Not all water is created equal.

Megan & Haiti

2010-02-04T10:06:00.000-08:00

My brother Joel and my Sister In-Law Megan are in Haiti today. Megan has been keeping us up to speed on what they are doing and the needs Haiti is facing. We have all been praying for them and have been believing for favor on what they are doing there. Below is the email I received this morning from Megan.

****

Hi again,

Another good morning. I am a little hazy today and very dirty but looking forward to the day.

I spent a lot of yesterday trying to mobilize food aid and nutrition support for a hurting commune/city called Leogone that has not received the medicines, vitamins and food they need. We visited a tent city and heard about the destruction and visited a hospital we partnered with that's been destroyed (I'm writing a grant to rebuild this one) there. We lobbied UNICEF, WFP and USAID for help. The good news is that we have made progress in Leogone and will begin distributing food and formula in the next 2 days, God willing.

Joel has been (with his camera) in the middle of food distributions, talking with the staff, in camps, with medical teams. Its wonderful to be here together.

I need to get started with work now. Lots of love from us,
Megan and Joel

****

Today is Megan's birthday and I was reminded of a note I had written for her last year for her birthday. I thought it pretty applicable for today. The note is below.

****

The fact is, Meghan can do everything and most of it all at once.

For instance, she could dismantle an atomic bomb while preparing Pan-Roasted duck breast, steamed root vegetables and speckled butter beans for a party of ten, while playing Mancala – the 7000 year old Arabic board game - with her husband, while explaining the rules to her husband and then lovingly tolerating his pathetic attempts at cheating... These are the kinds of things Megan can do…

While thinking about Megan, my mind returned to an article I had read recently. I immediately went online and found it. Though the article is not written about Megan, it reminded me so much of her that I thought I would put some of it here.

Please note that I have added to the article in order to better highlight the similarities between the woman being written about and Megan. The changes are (bracketed and in italics.)

Here is the article,

"Jaime Sommers (Megan Nykyforchyn Clark) is nothing but a hard-working woman juggling work as a bartender (International Programs Director) and the responsibility for the care of her younger sister, Becca, (Her husband, Joel).

Although she does not have much, Jaime (Megan) has always enjoyed being as normal as any other human being. However, this all changed when she is hit by a car and seriously injured (when she was born and decided to be awesome).

Following a nearly fatal car accident, (Following her decision to be awesome) Jaime (Megan) receives cybernetic implants, known as bionics. These implants give her superhuman strength and speed, allow her to hear at low volumes and over uncommonly long distances, and gives her 2000/20 vision and mathematical analysis of objects, their speeds, trajectories and so forth................"

Isn’t it amazing? It is uncanny how similar she and "The Bionic Woman” are!

****

While we would all love to be with them, we have been praying for both Megan and Joel and have been living through them. Here is a link to World Hope the organization Megan works with - World Hope This is a great place to give regarding Haiti!

Below are a couple pics Joel posted recently on his FB

Today I pray for Haiti and for Megan and Joel. Today I pray that You will bless Megan with Bionic strength and give here a powerful birthday miracle. In the name of Your Son and my best friend Jesus, Amen

Happy Birthday Megan!

Mom

2010-01-05T14:12:00.000-08:00

This Christmas we all - Moms husband and kids - put our thoughts about Mom into writing. Then we took bets on who would make her cry more and who would get more laughs... Aimee assembled all the writings into a book and Mom is probably still reading. It was both amazing to write about mom and to read what the rest of my family wrote as well. As far as who won, I would like to say it was me -
Since this is my blog... yeah, it was me.

Here is what I wrote -

Mom,

I wanted to first of all take credit for this astounding idea of writing about how my Mom has greatly impacted our lives. I choose to believe that it was my idea to put into words just how special she is to us and present it to her on Christmas. I also want to note that she was my Mom first. Sure there were others… but lest we forget, there is only one first…

I am still a boy. By this I mean that when it comes to Mom and Dad, I will always be their boy. I have a boy of my own; I have two girls as well, so I can testify to this statement.

A boy needs a dad. My Dad is the best and I think he’s the best because he married up. A boy needs a mom as well. My Mom is also the best and I think it’s for the same reason. I know that doesn’t make sense but stick with me.

I believe that a generation has the privilege of standing on the shoulders of the previous. If Dad didn’t have Mom or Mom, Dad, well, I wouldn’t be standing so tall. However, they do have each other and not only are they better for it, this boy can touch heaven.

Mom and Dad are a living legacy of love. Over the years I have witnessed that love through better or worse run toward the promises of God. Along the ways they have collected some amazing stories.

Often the family will get together and we will remember the stories. Its funny cause during these times, Dad often gets most of the press. I think its because Mom is his publicist. Mom is a good publicist – the best. She is mine as well… and yes she works for the others too. Until I met Karen, Mom was my fiercest advocate; she championed me like no other.

Today I want to model Mom – I want to be her publicist…

Mom pulled into the driveway. I was playing in the backyard – probably army but that information isn’t needed for this story. I met her at the back of the car. Our tan station wagon was full of groceries. Probably a hundred dollars worth, that’s what Mom told me she had spent one time. For a boy who made a dollar-fifty cutting the grass, a hundred might as well have been a million.

Mom carried two bags in through the back door and I followed with one of my own. She had bought fruit roll ups! I went back outside to discover what was in the remaining bags and was shocked to see that the car was moving. Our driveway went from the street past the house and then declined ever so slightly toward the garage. The station wagon was headed straight for the garage doors – we were moments away from a tragedy.

Someone had to do something and quick or… or… the garage doors and the tan station wagon would collide. The devastation would be... devastating.

Without thinking I ran to the car. Jumping in front of it, I braced myself for impact. Then I placed my hands on the hood and put all my 90 pounds to work. At first, the car won. I lost ground at a fairly rapid pace but my mom hadn’t raised a quitter. Ever so slightly the car began to slow down. But would it be enough?

The garage doors where getting dangerously close. Suddenly, it dawned on me, if I couldn’t stop the car I would be crushed between it and the doors. I began to panic. I doubled my effort. It was a Western New York fall day but I was sweating, grunting, groaning, straining.

It was working, it was gonna be close.

My heel struck the garage door and with one last hysterical push I willed the car to stop… and it did. The front bumper came to rest against my chest, my back against the garage door. I had done it!! The euphoria, the victory, I had saved the day! I would be touted as a hero, thanked by my Dad and praised by my Mom… Mom was screaming… mom is screaming. Mom is mad… at me?

“Jason! What are you doing!”

“I saved our car mom.” I said, proud and confused at the same time. This wasn’t the kind of reaction I had been expecting.

Mom seemed pretty upset. “What were you thinking!? What on earth were you thinking?”

“I saved our car, I saved the garage.” I said, a little less certain. I was pretty sure that a new garage door cost more than a hundred dollars but was starting to think one of us was missing something.

Looking back, I get it, I have a son of my own…

When Mom came back out to get more groceries, the car wasn’t were she left it - instead it was rubbing up against the garage. And there was her boy, goofy grin, bight eyed, in between a tan station wagon and the garage doors.

Mom laughs when I tell the story now. Then she again reminds me of how foolish I was. In fact, Mom, I know that while you read this, you will get nervous all over again. And that’s why you are so astounding…

Even though I am twenty-five years removed from this incident my mom carries it. Her gratitude and prayer follow me everywhere. Her thanks to God is probably offered in the same breath as her contending for my continued safety.

Mom isn’t big on boyish adventure. And at first glance you might think she isn’t a risk taker. That she merely married one and then raised five. But you would be wrong. Mom has modeled steady faith all her days. It’s her steady faith that has kept us through the shakey seasons; first as kids, then as teens and singles and now as moms and dads ourselves…

Mom knows God and Mom stands on His promises. There is no greater faith than this. And Mom has made sure that we knew the promises as well. Around the same time that I heroically saved the garage doors and the tan station wagon, my mom gave me a promise.

"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."

It’s my scripture, its my promise; it’s for the others as well.

It’s from Isaiah 61; Mom read verses 1-3 to me one evening after church. All three verses are beautiful, filled with promises of Gods goodness displayed through the lives of his people. But the verse that jumped out at me that day, the verse that Mom made sure I got, was the one about becoming an Oak of righteousness planted by God for His glory.

“Jason,” her tone was serious, like when she wanted me to really believe her, like when she told me not to climb over the stair railing. “God gave me this scripture for you. God told me that you would grow up to make Him proud. That you would become a strong man, a good man, a man of faith.”

An oak is a strong tree, a beautiful tree. I liked that promise as a boy and I still do. I am madly in love with God, I have become a worshiper and I am learning faith. Thank you Mom…

Mom has been a person of great promise. I could use the word purpose or destiny but promise is the best fit; promise suggests faithfulness, it implies relationship. Mom has modeled a life of profound faith and deep relationship. She has loved God first and always. She has loved Dad best and because of this she has released a legacy of love to her kids and their kids and their kids kids…

Mom’s life and the promise she nurtured in me… and the others; its led to a faith that has allowed a boy to know that with God all things are possible.

I am still a boy – at least, I am still Moms boy… Like all boys, I’ve always been in a rush to grow up. Along the way, I’ve had adventures. Sometimes there have been tan station wagons headed for garage doors. Sometimes it’s almost seemed as if the station wagon won, and sometimes I hear Moms voice echoing the past “what were you thinking.” But all along the way, Moms promise has kept me. I am an Oak of righteousness planted by God for his good pleasure. Because of Moms faithfulness, I have learned that Great Oaks, well, they stop tan station wagons every time.

Thanks mom, for teaching me how to love, how to dream and how to be faithful, Thanks for speaking and living the promises of Gods good love over my life and for contending on my behalf. Your love has been immeasurable.

I love you back, Merry Christmas.

Your Boy…

The First…

Skating In The City - Part Two

2010-01-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

Check out this video, the quality is poor - it was taken on my phone - but its worth the watch. No one was injured in the making of this video.

Skating In The City

2010-01-02T10:27:00.000-08:00

Poppy - Dad - has great ideas! If it wasn't for him we wouldn't have as many stories. Yesterday we went skating in the City. Thanks Poppy.

Here are some pics, for more check out my facebook.

Primal

2009-12-23T13:40:00.000-08:00

"To love God is to love His voice." Mark Batterson - Primal

I started reading Mark Batterson's new book "Primal" last week. Its Christmas and life has been busy, challenging and wonderful all at the same time. Honestly, regardless of Christmas, that statement applies. I am in a season where God is very close but hearing His voice has been difficult.

One of my hero's, Bill Johnson, was on a conference call with about a hundred of us the other day. He was talking about hearing and discerning Gods voice. The voice of God has been my one pursuit this year. However else God has revealed Himself to me, via the Bible, nature, my beautiful Karen, my kids or friends, I am most interested in His personal and intimate voice - the one of a kind voice He has for me, the voice only my heart can hear.

So I asked Bill during the conference call - via instant message - how to hear God in a season where He is close but His voice seems distant. Bills response was simple. "Go back to the things you did when you first heard his voice." Essentially what Bill was saying is, go back to the wonder of your earlier times with God, the places you first fell in love and start there.

Primal is a book that encourages both the brand new believer and the battle scared saint to always remember their first love - the voice of God. Marks passion is that we would awe at the wonder of God; that we would see not just with the natural eye but from heavens perspective. And mostly, Mark seeks to release a deeper revelation regarding Gods beautiful voice - how to hear it, how to know it, how to fall in love with it again.

I would most definitely recommended the book!

Merry Christmas all and may you hear Gods good and intimate one of a kind voice for you in this coming year!

New Song - Northern Lights

2009-12-18T11:02:00.000-08:00

Well, I am playing again! I have had some of these songs brewing for years now. This one is already celebrating three. I've had no outlet and no grace... "But the times, they are a changing." It seems good to me now to sing again. Soooo, yet another song dusted off.

I went to see the Northern Lights
So bright, reflected of your eyes
As your glory cloud descends,
Hey friends, its time that we got going

Come on in out of the cold, come home
Lets go find this Kingdom come, well done, well done

Let me find my joy complete
Let me see, oh love be my sweet witness

Come on in out of the cold, come home
Lets go find this Kingdom come, well done, well done

When the sun sets on my shoulder
When the northern lights shine bold
When my troubles, there all over, well done

Come on in out of the cold, come home
Lets go find this Kingdom come, well done, well done

Lightning On The Lake

2009-12-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

This summer I did some jet skiing. We bought the skis a few years back and they have been nothing but fun. Its exhilarating, that first trip of the day, flying over the water. I always find my soul praising God. On this particular summer day, it was the brothers Clark. Just us four boys being … well, boys. Though the weather started off perfect, soon after launching the skis a storm threatened.

I have a memory from when I was five of playing out in a thunderstorm with my cousin Mark. It was one of those freak thunderstorms - one minute it’s a beautiful sunny day, the next, the clouds have turned ugly and the sky opens. It poured. I have a clear image to this day of lightning flashing at the end of the driveway and the thunder crashing down on our heads. I also remember laughing and singing raucously with Mark, “Its raining its pouring the old man is snoring” as we marched fully clothed in circles around the circumference of my little blue plastic pool.

It’s a great memory and it’s only slightly dampened by the arrival of my mothers shrill and anxious screaming. “Jason, Mark! Come inside! Now!” She seemed possessed as she gestured hysterically at us from the porch to hurry. It certainly didn’t match my euphoric feelings but by the time Mark and I stood in the kitchen, wrapped in towels and dripping water on the linoleum, I had, if not a clear understanding, at least a better grasp of what happens to little boys who get struck by lightning.

Now some children after hearing about blackened toenails and smoking heads would never go out in a thunderstorm again but it was too late for me. You see, for a moment I experienced the wonder of standing out in a downpour and it was glorious. So, the other day while out jet skiing with my brothers, I couldn’t help but stay out in the storm.

It came while we were on the open water. We idled alone on the lake watching the black wall of clouds approach. The sky went from bright afternoon to dusk in minutes. Sheets of rain hit the far end of the lake, it was moving toward us quickly. It was violent and beautiful. Then lightning began to strike the water and we started counting - just like when we were kids. "One one thousand, two one thousand." The thunder boomed. "Two miles away" Joel said, a grin on his face.

Another flash, "One one thousand" BOOM! It was coming fast. My mothers voice faintly tugged at my mind. "Maybe we should head to shore?" I said. "Yeah" Ben sighed, he was in the water but had started climbing on to the back of Joel's ski. CRACK BOOM! "That one was close" I yelled over a sudden gust of wind. I think we could all hear moms voice now. We raced for shore.

We docked the skis just as the first fat drops fell. Then, being fascinated by the storm and intoxicated with its wildness, we swam under the raised dock and waited it out in the water. That is, Joel, Ben and myself swam beneath the dock. Josiah, the fourth brother, apparently heard moms voice at full volume with clear inflection and decided to to towel off. He waited it out like a civilized person - dry and under a roof.

The lightning and thunder did not disappoint. The rain fell so heavy you couldn’t see 10 yards. I was a boy again, making jokes, laughing and though I didn’t sing, it was close. We told stories about people getting struck by lightning - each one of us trying to better the previous tale. Then Joel gave a statistic that 9 out of 10 people struck by lightning survived. I was just about to make a joke, you know, about how there was only three of us in the water and how that seemed like good odds when -

Someone kicked me! A spear to my kidneys!

At the same moment, both Ben and Joel also appeared to have been kicked. Both of them looked at me with pained confusion. All at once it dawned on us. Then, as we realized what had happened, we started laughing, hysterically. Joel screamed, “Get out of the water!” - moms voice couldn't have been louder if she'd been standing next to us

“Joel, is my head smoking?”

You know, I have never, in my entire life, wondered what happens when lightning strikes water and you are in it… and now, I will never have to.

Later, Josiah, who had watched the whole thing from the dry safety of the covered dock, said that the lightning had struck only 30 feet from us…

The moral here? Well, lets just thank God I don’t have ten brothers…
And, I should probably listen to moms voice now and again; she knows a thing or two.

Love you mom...

John Mark McMillan - Skeleton Bones

2009-12-10T09:28:00.000-08:00

I had a chance to go to a filming of a John Mark video for the song "How He Loves" a few weeks back. Don't know when that one will be released but I look forward to seeing it. This guy is one of my favorite artists right now. He is gifted, anointed and madly in love with God - check out this song.

Maddys New Book!

2009-12-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

My oldest daughter is the most beautiful person I know, she almost outshines her mom. She is my favorite... I have four favorites in total.

There is nothing more amazing than listening to her tell me about her day, or her idea on how she wants to re-arrange her bedroom, or what she wants to buy her mom for Christmas and how we can get it on sale if we go this weekend...

I am so proud of her - she is my delight!
Here is a book she wrote for a project with her Uncle Shelly. Its a good read.

Identity

2009-12-02T11:57:00.000-08:00

I recently heard Don Miller speak about how this God journey we are on is kinda like a story. I love reading Dons books and hearing him speak, he not only makes me giggle, he also has some wonderful things to say - about life, about God. I too think this journey we are on is like a story. I think all of us want to live a good story, one filled with love, wonder and promise; a story that is inspired, a story that one-day our kids will read to their kids.

I am convinced of two things; first, the best stories end happily ever after. And second, before they end “happily ever after” they are filled with conflict and risk and sometimes even death...

Jesus lived the best story. His was full of wonder and mercy and love and friendship. It was also a story with conflict and risk, even unto death. And if there was a crisis in his story, it was a crisis of identity. Not with Jesus, he never doubted who he was, but those around him. If you think about it, the question of His identity followed him everywhere he went.

I would like to suggest that the question of identity is not only the theme of Jesus’ story but it’s ours as well. The good news is, Jesus was sure in his identity and because of this, we can also become sure in ours…

Jesus was actually born into a crisis of identity. As far as public perception was concerned, his birth was a little sketchy. His inception was miraculous. He was born of a virgin. My Bible refers to Him as “God with us” (Matt 1:18) and as “The Son of God” (Luke 1:31). However, that part of my Bible was unavailable at the time of Jesus, as it hadn’t been written yet.

Most likely, Jesus grew up with the stigma of “bastard.” Outside of a few shepherds and some Wise Men who knew the whole story, his birth appeared scandalous. He was born out of wedlock as Joseph waited until after his birth to “tie the knot.” But Jesus was not insecure. He knew who he was. He was sure in his identity.

We know this because of the one story of Jesus in his youth. When he was twelve, his family journeyed to Jerusalem. As they were heading home, his parents lost track of him and for three days they searched the streets of Jerusalem. They finally found him at the temple. When his mother asked him where he had been he replied, "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house" (Luke 2:49). Jesus was sure in his identity.

We don’t hear about Him again until he turns 30. The story is picked back up with Jesus baptism. The Bible says that when He came up out of the water, he was filled with the Holy Spirit. A dove descended and God spoke in a thunderous voice. And in case anyone was unsure, God made it perfectly clear saying, “This is my Son with whom I am well pleased.” At that moment it went public; Jesus was the Son of God. We heard it from an angel, we heard it from the child and now we’ve heard from the mouth of God.

I would have expected Jesus to start his public ministry upon this proclamation, but instead, he is led into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. (Matt 4:1)

Forty days Jesus went without food or water. Three times Satan tempted him and each time he went after Jesus’ identity. “If you are the son of God,” he challenged. But Jesus was sure in his identity.

If you keep reading the rest of His story you will find that everywhere he went his identity was questioned and challenged; by the religious teachers, by entire towns, by government officials and even by his closest friends. And while all this is happening, Jesus is living a story of beauty and wonder. He is healing blind and def, lame and mute. He’s raising the dead and making lots of food out of little food. He’s walking on water and calming storms. He is releasing life to anyone who receives him as he is - the Son of God. In fact, everything he did confirmed he was Gods Son.

If the story of Jesus life had a battle, it was a daily fight for identity. If his story had an antagonist it was doubt, better known as unbelief. And each time Jesus was confronted with the crisis of identity he chose to believe what God had said about him from the very beginning. Jesus was sure in his identity.

Three years after Jesus baptism we read about how he rides into Jerusalem being worshiped. Finally, He is received by the people as He truly is – the Son of God, the King of Kings, love in human form. And for a moment we take a breath… and then…

Jesus is betrayed.

Only three days after his triumphant arrival to Jerusalem he finds himself bound and standing in front of the religious rulers. His identity is officially and for a last time questioned. "Are you then the Son of God?" (Luke 22:70a) he is asked.

And Jesus, knowing what lay ahead, knowing he faced a brutal beating and then a cross… And Jesus, sure in his identity, said, "You are right in saying I am" (Luke 22:70b).

To be honest, my entire life has been a search for identity. And I am becoming sure. Daily I come into a greater understanding regarding the fact that this faith journey I am on is a battle for who I am in Christ. I am at war with an antagonist known as unbelief.

God has invited me and you as well, to believe - to believe that he is love, that he works on our behalf toward good and that we are his sons and daughters with a profound heritage. I am confidant that our faith journey is about daily deciding to be sure in our identity.

I would like to suggest that though we were born into a crisis of identity, the moment we asked God to join us on the journey, that crisis was resolved. The moment we surrendered our life to Jesus, the moment he became Lord and Savior, the moment we received his love, is the moment we stepped into a new identity. Through believing, Jesus not only confirmed and revealed his identity but ultimately he won our identity for us as well. Jesus rose from the grave and forever answered that question for those who choose to believe. We are sons and daughters of God. We are loved and becoming love.

Our Identity is found in believing in the absolute goodness of Gods love. This journey we are on will have its breath in that revelation. To the extent we know this truth is to the extent we can engage this life giving adventure story. Like all good stories there will be mountains and valleys, there will be scary moments and wonder. And always it ends happily ever after. And that’s what I’m getting at. Following God is risky, absolutely. It might even lead to death on a cross. But because Jesus went first, we can be sure in our identity and therefore know that our story, like the best stories, always ends well – always.

New Song - Me And The Thunder Sons

2009-11-19T10:40:00.000-08:00

So, I led worship last weekend at the Branch in the University area. Those church sure know how to worship!

It has been some time since I've played with anyone. Honestly, prior to preparing for last Sunday, I hadn't picked up my guitar in months. So, thanks Grayson for the invitation, I really enjoyed playing with you and the other guys! And thanks for forcing me to dust off the guitar. I'm inspired.

Last night I played through some of the tunes that I've written over the last year and got the idea to record this one as it actually has finished lyrics. I posted the lyrics here as well.

This is a fun way to get an idea about a song...

Me And The Thunder Sons

I turn my face
To a blazing sun
Your glory falls
Your Kingdom comes

Oh my God You are you are You are
Such a Holy love enough, enough, enough
Oh but still I must have more
Lying here on my kitchen floor
Jesus have your way
Meet me face to face

I pledged my head
To a holy love
Put down my paper picked up my guns
We took the hill
Me and the Thunder sons
We didn't quit till Thy Kingdom Comes

Singing Oh My God You are, You are, You are
Such a holy love, enough, enough, enough
Oh, but still we must have more
Lying here on Your sanctuary floor
Jesus have your way
Meet us face to face

The Wide Open Places

2009-11-06T10:15:00.000-08:00

“Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. Everyone who asks will receive. Everyone who searches will find. And the door will be opened for everyone who knocks.

Would any of you give your hungry child a stone, if the child asked for some bread? Would you give your child a snake if the child asked for a fish? As bad as you are, you still know how to give good gifts to your children. But your heavenly Father is even more ready to give good things to people who ask. So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:7-11

In my Bible there is a break here with a new heading called “The Narrow and Wide Gates.” While I often find these headings helpful; sometimes they can cause me to read each section as a stand-alone. Sometimes a break in scripture doesn’t mean there was a break in what was being taught. Often if you read before or beyond a heading you can find context otherwise missed.

The fact is when we get to Matthew 7:13 Jesus has been talking for a while – well past lunchtime. I don’t know if he paused and collected himself, took a sip from his water bottle, but I do know he never said ok, now I will talk about a road and a gate and this should be separated contextually from what I was just talking about.

He continued saying,

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14)

I have heard these two verses of scripture taught on from the pulpit many times. And mostly, they have been delivered as a warning. The message would come with a cautionary tale of people who fell off the narrow road into sin. The implication that living a holy life, a good life, is really hard and the margin for error is just shy of a sliver. There was a sense that once we accept Jesus into our hearts, we have a long narrow restricted journey to look forward to. The upside of course is that if we can somehow pull “the narrow road life” off then when we die it will be worth it cause heavens waiting.

In all honesty, the narrow road has never sounded like much fun and as far as heavens concerned, why do I have to wait?

What I find interesting is directly before the narrow road comments, Jesus talks about Gods expansive goodness. He describes how most of humanity isn’t aware of how much God wants to give to us. How receiving from God is as simple as asking. He describes God as a good and loving father who wishes to give us our hearts desire. Quite a contrast to what I’ve been taught regarding narrow road Christianity.

I would like to suggest that the verses directly before the narrow road section of scripture provide context for the narrow road Jesus talked about. In fact I believe Jesus was laying the groundwork for an incredible truth found in the Narrow road/gate story.

So here’s what I think – Jesus was referring to himself. He is the narrow gate and the narrow road. He was giving those in the crowd a heads up regarding what was to come. He knew the plan. He knew He was going to die and rise from the dead for us. He new He was going to make life abundantly available to us. (I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10)

Jesus died and rose so we could have life. It is His gift to us – available for the asking. Its something we can ask for and then receive. Its something we can search for and it will be found. It’s a door we can knock on and it will be opened. It’s a good gift from a loving and good father. We can only accept it or not. It’s not something we can earn or strive for.

Here is the thing, there is never striving when it comes to Jesus. There is only and always surrender. And surrender is how we say yes to God, its how we receive; it’s the narrow gate and road engaged. Through Jesus, we have died, been reborn and been given a new life. The narrow gate and road is a decision to surrender to God and once we have accepted Jesus into our hearts we enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Through this narrow gate, we receive the treasure – the one that is beyond imagination, a relationship with the King and citizenship in His Kingdom. We enter through the gate - His name is Jesus, The Way The Truth and The Life - and into a Kingdom that is beyond what we can ask or imagine. But he still wants us to ask and imagine.

The Kingdom of heaven is the “life” Jesus refers to. The Kingdom is not something we enter at our physical death. The Kingdom is something we get to live here on earth. So lets get this scripture right. It’s not a strict striving hardship works based religion we’ve entered into, it’s a wide-open love affair. It’s simply saying yes to His love and yes to becoming love

I think that the narrow road and gate leads to a landscape that is grander in scope than we could possibly imagine. That the journey found on the other side of the narrow gate is bigger than our wildest dreams. That Gods Kingdom isn’t a someday Kingdom found at the end of an arduous and sever journey. On the contrary, His Kingdom is a today Kingdom where we personally know the God that told us to “ask and it will be given” – We know the God that “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” (Ephesians 3:20) The God who said, “Everything I have is yours.”

I don’t think there is a road on the other side of the cross. I think it’s more like there is a landscape of wide open spaces. A landscape full of oceans and mountains and plains and deserts and planets and galaxies and that they are ours to discover and claim for the King. I think this is the joy set before us, to discover the goodness of God in the land of the living. (Psalms 27:13)

I would like to introduce you to a life where the Kingdom of God is at hand and those that know His love and know who they are in the context of his love can engage this Kingdom in the here and now. Its wide open.

Top Twenty - Songs

2009-11-04T20:41:00.000-08:00

Slow Runner – The Stakes Were Raised, Trying To Put Your Heart Back Together
Winter Sleep – Weighty Ghost
Regina Spektor – Laughing With
Piers Faccini – A Storm Is Going To Come
Phoenix – 1901
Pearl Jam – Among The Waves
Patrick Watson – Man Like You
Mutemath – Spotlight
Katie Herzig – I Hurt Too
The Great Northern – Driveway
The Envy Corps – Walls, Story Problem, Baby Teeth, Before The Gold Rush, Wires & Wool **just get the album**
Elbow – Grace Under Pressure
Deadman – Severe Mercy
David Gray – Fugitive
Better Than Ezra – Particle
Beirut – A Sunday Smile
Athlete – The Outsiders
Arcade Fire – No Cars
White Rabbits – Percussion Gun
Oasis – Get Off Your High Horse Lady
The Killers – My List

To Love in Turn

2009-10-29T10:26:00.001-07:00

So, I have been writing like mad these past few weeks. Its been an odd thing this, but I suddenly have two books due - crazy right? Anyway, I have been posting the daily devotionals that will be edited at some point and put into the new Open Table. The Open Table is a small group study for new believers with a film and participants guide.

Chapter one is on Love. I think I have the chapter finished and thought I would put one more segment up. This is part four and follows on the heals of my last blog. If you think about me in the next 6 weeks, pray that God would release His love and Kingdom message through this project.

Oh, also, there are supposed to be two to three questions at the end of each section for the reader. I'm not very good at asking those questions as I rarely read them let alone answer them when reading a participants guide - maybe I should start. Anyway, if you think of a question that would help drive the message home, let me know. Thanks!

To Love In Turn

Yesterday I wrote about how John referred to himself, as “the one Jesus loved” and how this revelation of Gods loves is available to us.
Shortly after I discovered these verses in scripture God began to speak to my heart. I started thinking about Johns understanding of Jesus love and wondered if I was capable of loving in the same way.

Recently, one night at the super table while holding hands with my family, I told my wife she was “the one” I loved, that I loved her best, she was my favorite. Then I looked at my oldest daughter and I told her the same thing. I moved on to my son and finally my youngest daughter repeating myself as I went. You are “the one” that I love…
And you know what, it was true and everyone at the table knew it. Somehow I was able to love each of them best.

Paul tells us in Romans 8:11 that the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in us. It stands to reason then that we should be able to love just like Jesus does. In fact, I think that’s why we are here. We exist to know Gods love and love in turn.

That’s what this new life we have entered into is all about. The moment we surrendered to Gods love, the moment we received our salvation, we said yes to love and yes to becoming love.

I would like to suggest that the “Christian” experience, journey, walk, or whatever you want to call it, isn’t just about going to church, it’s also about becoming church. It isn’t just about going to heaven when we die, it’s also about bringing heaven to earth while we live. It isn’t just about receiving the beautiful love of our Savior and friend Jesus, it’s also about becoming that same love. And I am convinced that the only way to become love is to know His love as John did.

Several years ago, I began dialoging with God from John’s perspective. When praying I would thank God for His love, not the wide vague concept of love but the personal intimate one of a kind love God has for me. I don’t pray this way out some insecurity or arrogance, on the contrary. I have learned that the more aware I am of how much he loves me, the greater capacity I have to love those around me. I can say to my wife, my kids, my neighbor, the guy sitting next to me at Starbucks “you are ‘the one’ I love.” A person cant give away what they don’t posses. That’s why it is so important that we begin to see ourselves as God does, thereby possessing love and giving it away in greater measure.

I encourage you today to ask God to love you best, to reveal to you that you are “the one” that he loves and then begin to love those around you like you believe it.

He Loves Me Best

2009-10-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

I was reading the gospel of John several years ago. Somewhere along the way I realized that John – the author - had a unique way of referencing himself. Three times he wrote about himself in the third person, as the “one Jesus loved.”

“One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him.” (John 13:23)

“So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved…” (John 20:2)

“…And saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them.” (John 21:20)

Now I grew up hearing preachers refer to John as Jesus’ favorite. You know, Jesus just had a special spot in his heart for John. As a kid I thought it was kinda cool how Jesus had a best friend. So a couple years ago, when I discovered that John was the fella that started the rumor, well, I have to admit, I was impressed. “I like that John,” I thought – starting nice rumors about himself like that.

Oh by the way, I don’t know if you have heard this yet but Jesus loves me best…

The more I thought about it, I realized that if anyone knew about Jesus and His love, it was the disciples and John was one of those fellas. He was with Jesus for three years. He was there when Jesus was moved with compassion and healed two blind men (Matt 20:34). He was there when Jesus wept before raising Lazarus his friend from the dead. (John 11;36). He was there when Jesus healed, restored, delivered, forgave and fed people (The Gospels). He ate, slept, prayed, laughed, cried - he did life with the love that is Jesus. He witnessed with his own two eyes the love that is Jesus poured out to the lost, weak, blind, def – you name the need – John watched love meet it.

He then witnessed love whipped and beaten and spit upon and cursed. He watched as Jesus was spread out, nailed to and the hung on a cross - love in human form giving up his life for all of mankind.

And then John was there for the resurrection, when love displayed his hands and feet to the disciples. He watched love ascend to heaven and experienced love again when it descended in the form of the Holy Spirit. If anyone knew what love looked like it was John.

And this same disciple went on to write a book about love. He went on to tell us all what he’d witnessed. And this is the same disciple who wrote about himself, as “the one Jesus loved.” In essence, the man who knew intimately what love looked like and felt like and acted like went on to tell us that this same love who was Jesus, loved him best. John had a revelation of God and described it as a uniquely shared love that was only available between the two of them. Essentially, what John communicated through his gospel was that as far as he was concerned, he was Jesus’ favorite. Jesus loved him best.

The Bible says that when Jesus went to the cross, he did it “for the joy set before him.” I have recently come to understand that we – you and me and the guy sitting next to me at Starbucks – we are that joy. Jesus loves each of us individually and intimately. And if Johns correct, then somehow we can know Jesus love in such a way that we could say about ourselves “I am the one Jesus loves,” I’m his favorite, He loves me best.

John’s revelation is astounding; Jesus can love each of us as “the one.” How cool is that? What’s more amazing is that Jesus can love each of us as “the one” without undermining His love for someone else. I think Johns understanding reveals the heart of Gods love. You see, from John’s perspective, Jesus was able to love Him best without contradiction.

There is available to us a unique relationship to this love. The heart of God even now speaks over each of us and he says “you are the one that I love."

Jesus doesn’t go to a cross because he has to, he goes for the joy that was set before him. That joy is a unique relationship with me and you. He went to the cross so that we could say with absolute certainty, “I am the one Jesus loves.”

Aimee - Peeing In The Bushes

2009-10-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just wanted to tell a story but you have no context. Well this is one of the stories that was originally edited out of the S&U book. However, I am working on final edits right now and man if I am still not trying to find a relevant truth where this story works… We shall see.

Years ago, after walking home from school, Aimee, Joel and myself found the house locked up. Mom wasn’t home and so we had to wait outside. After a couple of minutes Aimee announced that she had to pee. A couple minutes after that she said to me “I’m going to go pee in the bushes.”

I thought that this was grossly inappropriate. Now if Joel had needed to pee, I would have told him to go pee in the bushes. But Aimee was a girl and so, well, it was just different, that’s all.

I told her she wasn’t allowed to go pee in the bushes and that she would just have to hold it till mom got home. I thought I had made myself clear but…

She glared at me and said, “I will pee in the bushes if I want to.”

“I am the boss and you have to listen to me!” I shot back. Looking back, I don’t think that statement ever got the results I was looking for…

Now Aimee was beyond mad, enraged, yeah that’s the word. I think she said the first thing that came to her mind, the only thing she really could have said at that moment, “Then I’ll pee in my pants!!”

It worked. Now I was enraged as well. You see, if it was unladylike to pee in the bushes it was definitely worse to pee in your pants. Plus, like any dictator I didn’t appreciate being questioned. “You are definitely not going to pee in your pants” I yelled.

“I will too” she screamed back.

And then...she did.

Eva's Bible - Love Poem

2009-10-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

I had in my possession an amazing holy historical artifact - my Grandma Eva's Bible. My dad finally sequestered it but not before I had a chance to read through and scan some of the contents. This was her bible for over 50 years. It was marked on nearly every page in every ink color you can imagine.

Eva Clark was a holy person. She prayed. Always. Her prayers are resounding still. I think the blessing and favor that God has released on us Clark's is due to her praying.

Anyway, I found several little notes she kept in her Bible. Today I thought I would post this little cut out piece of paper that had a poem about the love of God.

Lord, thank-you for your wonderful love that is beyond my ability to comprehend!

Bono and The Kingdom of God

2009-09-26T18:03:00.000-07:00

"Thy Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven" Preach it Bono.

Thought this was funny

2009-09-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

The Wow and the How

2009-09-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

For the past two months my brother Joel and I have been furiously working on a project called “The Open Table.” It’s part two of an awesome discipleship tool that is the brainchild of Donald Miller and is being distributed by Thomas Nelson. Months ago, Joel and I started dreaming up what we wanted to really focus on and once Don approved we got to work.

Since then Joel and Nick (Switchvert) have been working on the film component and nearly wrapped that up. Meanwhile, I am responsible for the guidebook.

Since this project was green lighted, Joel and I have been wrestling with “The Wow and the How.” We want to write and display truths that both help nurture and challenge a life with Jesus. And though knowing how is great we don’t want to ever lose the fact that the “how” would not be necessary if there wasn’t a “wow.”

The life of a believer is always about the wow. This life is about encountering God. There are wonderful “hows” to learn along the way but they always start with a “wow.”

Anyway, that’s what I have been wrestling through as of late. If you think about it, pray for this project. That we would be able to release the “wow” while still blessing with the “how.”

A Sunday Morning Drive

2009-08-28T18:45:00.000-07:00

On Sundays around 10:30 in the morning I often go to a meeting. It is normally held in a large building. There are lots of church there, all kinds – lovely people. There are men and women, children, babies – the old and young all gathering together.

They come from all walks of life. There are lawyers and painters, salesmen and waiters. There are Butchers and Bakers and Candlestick makers. There are…well, you get it.

The church gathers and sings beautiful love songs to God. We pray for each other and encourage and challenge each other to love greater and live bolder. Often someone speaks about the goodness of God. It’s a pretty cool thing to do on a Sunday morning.

One day while I was out for a drive, I passed one of the big buildings where we gathered on Sunday mornings and I noticed that the sign on the front lawn said church. It implied that the buildings name was “church.” I chuckled to myself. Somebody had a sense of humor.

However, over the next couple days I started seeing these signs everywhere. I began to feel concern; maybe this wasn’t a practical joke after all. Maybe some of the church had forgotten what church really was.

Then one day I ran into a man who wanted directions to church. I smiled, threw out my arms and said, “you found him!” He gave me a very confused, somewhat frightened look and then quickly drove away. It was then that I realized he wanted to know the location of the building we met in.

Suddenly the signs weren’t so funny. “This is not good. This is not good at all. This is dangerously close to that evil thing I heard about called religion. People should not think that the church is a place or even a set of beliefs.” Church is people, its an assembly of believers who know and express the love, restoration, healing and deliverance of God.

When people start thinking church is just a building or set of beliefs, they become sorely disappointed. Though buildings and a set of beliefs are good, they can never love you, heal you, pray for you, dream with you, challenge you…

When people forget what the church truly is, they become heart broken and disillusioned.

Kids who grow up never knowing that they are the church and that God is more that a nice guy in heaven who likes people to gather together on a Sunday morning for a religious experience…

These kids eventually start dreading “church.” They start doing anything they can to get out of going to "church". These kids start stealing their parent’s cars and driving like madmen, ignoring stop signs and even outrunning policeman – all in an effort to escape the doldrums of what "church" has come to mean – a name for a building.

But do not fear, there is hope! I have met many church who still remember what church is and they are waking up those who have forgotten. On Sundays at around 10:30 they gather and they love. They love God and they love eachother.

Kids have again experienced that they are the church, they are loved and becoming love. They have given dad back the car keys and even now they are dreaming of what a church who knows its identity can do in advancing the Kingdom!

Crane Jumping

2009-08-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

My brother Joel has always been my hero. Though I have often wished I could join him on one of his adventures, when it comes to crane jumping, I can say with certainty, "I am glad I wasn't there."

2009-08-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

Thought this was pretty cool...

Everything He Has Is Ours

2009-08-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

The Prodigal Son - Luke 15:11-32

I love the story of the prodigal son. I grew up loving it – it was a favorite. Part of the reason was because of the Keith Green song about the same story called “The Prodigal Son Suite.” I used to sit in the living room crossed legged on the carpet in front of my dads huge stereo speaker. As the song burst from the speakers I would pretend to play the piano on the carpet. I played so long and so rigorously that my mom would actually move the speaker due to the carpet being worn out.

It’s a beautiful song about a beautiful story - a story of the goodness of Gods love. The amazing unmerited mercy and grace of a good Father.

You know it. There was a father with two sons. The younger came to dad and asked for his inheritance. Dad gave it to him and he went out into the world and spent it in every self-centered way conceivable. Eventually he ran out of cash. Then the country went into recession (famine) and the only job he could find was feeding pigs. He hit bottom when he realized that the pigs ate better than he did.
So he decides to go home, beg forgiveness and ask his father for a place among the servants.

Here is how Keith puts it.

The Son

“…I was near home, in site of the house,
My father just stared, dropped open his mouth,
He ran up the road, and fell to my feet, and cried, and cried,
Father I've sinned, Heaven ashamed,
I'm no longer worthy to wear your name,
I've learned that my home is right where you are,
Oh father, take me in.”

The Father

“Bring the best robe, put it on my son,
Shoes for his feet, hurry put them on,
This is my son who I thought had died,
Prepare a feast for my son's alive…”

I can hear this song in my head even while I write. I am transported back in front of the speaker in our living room, the piano, strings and the horns a back drop for Keith’s voice as He sings from the fathers perspective.

“My son was lost, oh thank you God he's found, My son was dead and he's now alive, Prepare a feast for my son's alive…”

It’s a sweeping masterpiece - both the story and Keith’s rendition.

I think everyone loves this story. It’s so beautiful and it seems right that it end with the celebration feast - Everyone joyful that the son has returned. There’s singing, dancing, laughing and eating late into the night as mercy and grace pass through the room like good wine…

But the story doesn’t end there.

There’s an epilogue where we don’t want one. It’s kinda distracting and honestly its kinda sad and disappointing. Its not the happily ever after we want at the end of a beautiful story. It’s a sour note – one that never made it into Keith’s song and rightfully so.

This is a story about a father with two sons…

“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. “Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. (Luke 15:25-31)

Big brother comes in after a hard day of working out in the field. He has been sweating and toiling, he has been “slaving.” Was he envious of little brother? Yep. But what’s interesting is that his father doesn’t address the envy, he speaks to the heart of the matter.

He says, “…you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.”

I feel like often in my life, I have worked and toiled – I have sweated out my faith. I have done the right stuff; I’ve been good and “godly.” I’ve even done a little slaving – all for Jesus of course… I don’t think I’m alone in this.

I think many Christians have been trying to earn a place in our father’s house. Here is the amazing thing; we can’t earn what is already given. You can’t earn being an heir. You can’t earn your way into son ship our daughter ship. You’re born into that. You get it. It’s given. If you have asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, then you have been re-born into an inheritance that is eternal.

I ache for the big brother who has the spirit of religion on him. He is living from a place of religion – set of beliefs – and not relationship. If you live outside the context of relationship, you are unable to celebrate when a relationship is restored.

Because of his limited understanding, big brothers world is very small. Because he doesn't live from the revelation that everything Dad has is his, His potential is only as big as his own personal abilities. He only has access to his own strength, his own knowledge - whatever he can accomplish by the sweat of his brow.

And so, he does all the right things for the wrong reasons. And even though that might seem alright - cause “hey, the right stuff is getting done” - the problem is not only is the older son missing out on the joy of life, eventually he finds himself offended and at odds with his dad.

Here’s the thing, if I don’t embrace and live from the revelation that “Everything my Heavenly Father has is mine,” then some day something will happen that I cant understand and I will find myself hurt, angry and at odds with dad.

I have met many Christians who have been hurt by the goodness of God because they have been living and doing all the right stuff from the wrong revelation. If we don’t understand that “Everything he has is ours,” we not only miss out on the celebration, we find ourselves resenting our heavenly Father. We find ourselves at odds with the very nature that is his Love. Suddenly our misunderstanding trumps our Fathers love. Our lack of revelation determines how we live and how we love.

But when life is lived from our fathers perspective, the joy we experience from the return of a prodigal is not something that has to be mustered up, it is simply an overflow of our fathers heart.

Jesus died and rose so we would never again have to slave. When we see our inheritance for what it is, the very power of Love, we no longer need worry or fret. We need never slave again.

“For the kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matt 10:7). It’s right here, at hand, within reach. You see, we are heirs to the King. Everything he has is ours and its ours right now. Not when we die or after we have earned it but right now. Not because of what we have done but because of what Jesus did. And because we are now heirs, every aspect of our father is available to us.

Everything he has is ours! Do you need mercy? It’s yours! Do you need friendship? It’s yours! Need hope, He is Hope! Need provision, joy, love, a Sabbath, a miracle, everything he has is ours! How awesome is that!

The Ants Go Marching

2009-08-07T13:27:00.000-07:00

My brother is a genius...

Look Up & Let Go

2009-07-28T14:06:00.000-07:00

Grand Central Station. Spring of 1993 - late afternoon…

“I’m here” I thought to myself.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag.”

I was beginning my new life as an adult! After a 16-hour Greyhound bus ride, Id arrived to meet my new employer in the greatest city in world history. At least, that’s what I’ve been told by New Yorkers since. I had been hired to be a roadie for one of the worlds greatest trumpet players ever, at least that’s what I’ve been told Doc Severinson said - Trumpeter for the Johnny Carson show.

The station felt dirty… “Well not really dirty, just old,” I thought as I headed out to the street.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag”

I had twenty-nine dollars and thirty-one cents in my pocket. I had started out with thirty but had bought a Recess Peanut butter Cup at one of the stops. It had been a nice touch to the apple and peanut butter and jelly sandwich my mom had packed for me.

My folks didn’t have any money and this was before credit card debt was a way of life, so I had just enough to buy the twenty dollar ticket back to Rochester NY if my ride didn’t show.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag…”

Everyone was heading up and out. I joined the flow and stepped out onto Park Ave. I was 18 years old and had never been alone in a city of any size.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag.”

The fear was real but contained.

I found a pay phone and instead of using more of my precious capital, I called my parents collect. “I’m here.” Moms first question was “Is an adult there to pick you up?” “No mom, but I think I will try to hail a cab and go to the hotel and see if I can find them.” I said bravely.

My mom had wanted me to immediately buy a return ticket and catch the next Greyhound home. But that would have ended my new life. This was NYC and I wasn’t ready to call it quits and get back on a bus for home.

“Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag…”

"Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag." That was the last piece of advice my Dad said in my ear as he hugged me goodbye. I clutched my bag and kept my eyes forward, determined not to look up, determined to hail a cab, determined to get myself to my new employers Hotel - the Marriott Marquis right on Times Square. The map my dad and I had looked at before I left showed the Hotel to be only four blocks from Grand Central Station, so this was do-able.

The street was filled bumper to bumper with yellow cabs. I had only the movies as a reference. I worked up the nerve and started toward the street timidly waiving my arm. No cabs stopped. There is nothing timid about NYC. While I stood there contemplating my next move, I noticed I was looking up…

When I brought my focus back to street level, I was startled to discover an older fella had invaded my personal space. He was maybe in his mid 40s. His hair was wiry and mostly grey, he had a distinct unpleasant body odor but what most stood out was the patchwork of bandages that lined the insides of both arms.

“Where are you going?” He asked. He was missing a front tooth.

I nodded, “I’m fine sir, thanks.”

He leaned closer, “Need a cab?”

I just wanted him to go away. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Where are you going” he asked bluntly.

I shouldn’t have looked up I thought and then, because of my good upbringing, I answered the question. “ I am staying at the Marriott Marquis on Times Square.”

“I know where that is - it’s close. You don’t need a cab. Five bucks and I’ll take you there.”

Before I could agree he snatched my bag out of my hand and started across the street.” “Don’t look up and don’t let go of your bag,” I thought one last time as I followed the man who had taken my bag. I began praying fervently. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”

“Once upon a time…” I followed a guy through the streets of NY, was yelled at by a couple fellas, cursed at by another fella I bumped into, taken to the wrong hotel, told it was the right hotel, cursed at again - this time by a cabbie - and finally delivered to the correct Hotel where eventually I met a mythic trumpet player and his crew, was led through the bowels of Madison Square Gardens while the National Democratic Convention for Bill Clinton was winding down, witnessed the gay pride parade and then flown off in a personal King Air to begin my grand adventure as an adult.

This was the beginning of my journey into adulthood and also the beginning of a spiritual journal. One in which I have had to learn just the opposite of my dads directions – Keep your eyes up and let go of your bags. Or, Look up, let go.

Once upon a time I looked up and let go... And as Robert Frost - the greatest poet ever known to mankind, at least that's what my 11th grade English teacher said - once wrote "that has made all the difference."

Kingdom Come

2009-06-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

Taken from Matt 13:46

There was a fella who knew of a treasure that was buried in a field. This treasure was greater than any treasure any mind could conceive. It was beyond imagination. The treasures name was Truth. This fella was so excited about the treasure that he sold everything he owned - right down to the clothes on his back. He gave all that he was and all that he had and naked he went to his field. He began to dig. And there he found his treasure and it was a Kingdom. It was a greater Kingdom than I can describe but I will try nonetheless.

This Kingdom was built on love. The King himself was love. The Kingdoms greatest power was found in joy, which was engaged through believing. Everything about the Kingdom was good. There was no evil in the Kingdom, not even a single drop - not a sliver. There was no sickness or sadness in this Kingdom and because this Kingdom was founded on love, all sorrow was redeemed and restored to joy. In this kingdom all things always worked to good.

And amazingly, this fella, the one who went digging in the nude, well, he became an heir and citizen in this kingdom. In essence, he was reborn and became a new creation taking on the very nature of His King - love. He was given new clothes and they fit him like a glove. These clothes were righteous and this fella was marvelous to behold because he had the love of His King in Him. Because of love, this fella had access to every part of this kingdom.

This Kingdom had a creed. It was known as the good news. The King spoke it often and the fella’s heart leaped with joy to hear it! It went like this “Thy Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.” This next part may seem odd but it is truly astounding – the moment this fella received the love of his King he found that his field was now apart of the Kingdom. In fact wherever he stepped the King and His Kingdom went with him. And then he realized that this is why he existed – to know the Kings love and to establish his Kingdom…

Ok, I know what your thinking, your thinking I haven’t done this Kingdom justice. I know I haven’t, but in all fairness, I only learned how to write about 30 years ago. I do have several more pages to give it a go and I plan on writing about it for at least another 50 years. So bear with me…

At the age of five, around the time I began learning how to write, I found my treasure. I gave Jesus all of me and I asked him into my heart. At that moment, I became an heir of the King and I gained citizenship to the same Kingdom I just described. Since then I have been discovering just how amazing this King and His Kingdom is. Since then, I have been discovering what it means to be an heir of the King and citizen of His Kingdom.

Some refer to this moment in a person’s life as “salvation.” Yep, that’s a good word for it. But it’s not just a moment. Since the age of five, I have been learning that Salvation is the most beautiful of life’s miracles. I once was dead, now I’m alive! I once was clothed in self-centered ignorance, I’m now clothed in love and righteousness. I once was a citizen of a fallen Kingdom, I now am a citizen of Heaven. What makes the miracle of salvation so much more amazing is the fact that it doesn’t end there. Our salvation is not the end of our story; it’s the beginning of a new one.

If I may put it this way, after saying yes to Jesus, salvation is not only the answer, it’s the question. The question, “how shall we now live?” Most of my life I have understood salvation as an assurance of heaven after I die. Well, yes, that’s true, but there’s so much more. You see, I am saved to bring heaven to earth while I’m alive.

Just like that fella who bought the field, I have met the King and taken on His identity as my own. I have become love and because of this love, I have His creed burned on my heart… “Thy Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.”

No Condemnation

2009-06-10T11:33:00.000-07:00

Jesus was walking into Jericho when he sees the little man in a sycamore tree. “Zacchaeus come on down. I’m going to your house for dinner,” Jesus says.

The Bible tells us that Zacchaeus was a bad man and he was also short - no relation. He stole from and cheated the people of Jericho. They didn’t like him. Then he meets with Jesus and it turned out like every God encounter I have ever had. It goes something like this...

Jesus comes, honors me by meeting with me. He doesn’t bring up my past, my weakness or failures. There is no condemnation, shame, or guilt. Instead, when I find myself in his presence, I am simply humbled by his love for me. Yes I am aware of who I was but I am infinitely more aware of who He is, that He dwells in me and my heart is challenged to be holy as He is holy.

After Zacchaeus met with Jesus, Zacchaeus gave half of what he owned to the poor and returned to those he stole from four times over the amount taken. Jesus didn’t ask him to do this. Jesus didn’t even raise his eyebrow and give Zacchaeus the universal mom look that says “you know what you need to do.” The Bible doesn’t always give inflection but I’m pretty sure that Jesus didn’t say “I must eat at your house today” with sarcasm and eyerolling. If there was emphasis on the “must,” it was enthusiasm!

I have heard this story since I was a child and I sang the cute litte ditty about Zacchaeus being “a wee little man and a wee little man was he” …ok, sometimes I still sing it… But as a kid without any sense of economics, I thought nothing of the fact that Zacchaeus gave away half his worth. It seemed pretty natural to just give up more than half of what you had cause Jesus was nice.

As an adult who likes to eat and sleep indoors and who has a wife and kids who also like to eat and sleep indoors, and who has to pay for it himself, I know Zacchaeus’ generosity wasn’t inspired just because Jesus was nice. Nice is nice, but “nice” doesn’t have the power to inspire this kind of generosity. This wasn’t just about Jesus being nice. This was about Zacchaeus experiencing the revelation of Jesus’ love. This was about Zacchaeus experiencing unmerited grace and mercy. He got saved.

As you already know, you can’t go on as you did, once Jesus’ love is encountered. Zacchaeus’ response to Jesus was birthed from love. Love is what pricks a conscience or convicts us. Mercy and grace received, births generosity.

There is a difference between conviction and condemnation. One is holy the other is evil. One brings life, the other death. When I meet with Jesus I never come away feeling condemnation. That’s not how he operates. It is actually counter to his nature.

If somehow you are experiencing shame or condemnation when you meet with God I would like to suggest that you didn’t get it from him. It was probably there before you met with him and instead of giving it to Him, you took it away with you…

Jesus died for me, and for you. He took all our shame, all our guilt and all condemnation. Once we enter into his love we have no right to take it back. Let me make this clear, we as believers no longer have any right to feel shame, condemnation or guilt. The Bible says, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom 8:1) To accept condemnation actually belittles what Jesus did on the cross. He died so that we no longer have to live under condemnation.

I know this sounds like a tall order but it’s really just a perspective change. It’s a revelation we need to posses. If I miss God, if I sin, then I repent – change the way I think. I don’t take on guilt, condemnation or shame.

Its not that I am saying I am unaware of who I am without Jesus. Without Jesus I am guilty. I have never come away from a reflection of my guilt better off than when I started. It's crazy to me that people want to get to know themselves better. Why? What good would that do? I want to know what God thinks about me. I want to see myself through His eyes. Cause through Gods eyes Zacchaeus was capable of giving more than half of what he owned away. Cause through Gods eyes, I am capable of living the “greater works than these lifestyle. And that’s what I signed up for.

Here is the thing, when you see through Gods eyes you become capable of all the things that condemnation says you aren’t.

The Furious Longing Of God

2009-06-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time I read Brennan Manning. My dad had been talking non-stop about this new book “The Ragamuffin Gospel.” We were all - my brothers and sister, Karen and I - over at my parents for a holiday weekend. “You need to get this book, he said, around the dinner table that first night.” “It is changing everything I understand about grace.” And then very much like my dad, the next night he was handing out a copy to each of us. I have learned that if dad likes a book, I don’t have to buy it myself – eventually, on my birthday, Christmas, or just because – dad will go out and buy it for me.

The other thing I have learned – since I’m no longer a teen and therefore I know that I don’t know everything – is that when dad gives me a book, I should read it instantly.

The “Ragamuffin Gospel” was a life changer and since that time Brennan has been one of my favorite authors. His books can be found scattered throughout my house. There is a copy of “The Signature of Jesus” in my office. “Ruthless Trust” sits on a shelf in our family room and several copies of “Ragamuffin” can be found wherever books gather. And they do gather from time to time - This is the pile we want to lend to Mary and that’s the pile we want to give to Karen’s mom and so on.

Recently I received a copy of Brennan’s new book “The Furious Longing Of God.” After reading it, I felt like I had sat with Brennan in his living room while he just shared life. I have never met Brennan or heard him speak but I imagine it must feel a bit like this book - very personable, real, a walking out revelation of love and grace that makes you just want to know Jesus more. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about this book – looks like I get to buy dad a copy this time…

One other fun part about reading this book for me was that when I opened it, I realized that the fella that wrote the forward is someone I have the privilege of working with on another project. And then, when halfway through the read; I realized that I also had the honor of working with the fella that edited the book as well.

One Reason Why I Write…

2009-06-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

At the age of eighteen having already been a King for more than half his life, Josiah sent his man, Azaliah, along with a clean up crew into the temple to tidy the place up. Israel was at this point a pagan nation. They had fallen away from God and for several hundred years, they had served other Gods. They did “evil in the sight of God.” They had sex temples and altars where they could sacrifice their children – these were among the evils they committed. So yeah, it was pretty bad…

“King Josiah, while we were cleaning up we found this “book.” After Hilkiah (the High Priest) blew off the dust he read a bit of it and you wouldn’t believe this but it appears to be "the book!” Azaliah stood before His King offering him "the book." (2 Kings 22-23)

You know why I write? Why I try to blog? Yes, it is one of the ways I process, clarify, resolve and receive revelation - but mostly I write for Maddy, Ethan and Eva. I write for my kids kids and their kids as well. I want to write them a legacy of the goodness of God. I want to write them a story about the love of God. I want to build them a foundation upon which they can know love and in turn love. I want to write prophetically in the timeless voice of God “you have a great destiny, a holy purpose.” I want to write that they would know who they are and because of that knowledge, they would radically impact the world they live in.

Three hundred and twenty years before King Josiah found the book there was a prophet by the name of Jeroboam. Jeroboam prophesied to this nation about a coming King who would destroy the evil altars that Israel had set up. This King would restore the nation back to God. He even prophesied this Kings name. “He cried out against the altar by the word of the LORD : "O altar, altar! This is what the LORD says: 'A son named Josiah will be born to the house of David. On you he will sacrifice the priests of the high places who now make offerings here, and human bones will be burned on you." (1 Kings 13:2)

When Josiah’s clean up crew found “the book,” Josiah had it read aloud in its entirety. Can you imagine what happened in his heart when he heard his named mentioned? Can you imagine what kind of impact that had on him?

If you don’t know the story of King Josiah, he went on from this discovery to completely destroy every trace of evil upon the land. He was zealous in his pursuit of the promise he received. He was intent upon fulfilling what God gave him to do. 2 Kings 23:25 says “Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the LORD as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength…”

That seems like a pretty good reason to write eh?

Thank you Kris Vallotton - Kris is a pastor at Bethel in Redding CA. He spoke this word a few years back at a writting conference and it impacted me greatly.

Ready For My Own Bed

2009-05-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

I am ready for my own bed with no kids in it. We are rounding out an 8 day trip to Western NY. The kids have been awesome and very interested in seeing all the places where dad and mom first fell in love. We have also eaten at almost all the places where dad and mom first fell in love.

We had a great time driving up through DC. We spent the night at my brothers house and the next day while on our way to Starbucks we stopped by the White House. There was a protest for the Camels - or maybe it was the Tamils. At one point Maddy said "these protesters are ruining our field trip." While Karen explained that the protesters where actually a great example of what the White House represented - freedom of speech and all - Ethan and I tried to figure out what happened to the Camels. Actually Ethan wondered about the Camels, I wondered about the Tamils. I have since learned they are a persecuted people group in India.

The weather in Western NY is supposed to be beautiful this time of year. Though it started out nice, its been hot and muggy since we arrived at Elim.

My hero is here - Bill Johnson. He has been doing heroic things. Its been fun to watch my spiritual mentor meet with my spiritual heritage.

Though I haven't had much time to write I have been processing and receiving much. I hope to write a bit here in the coming weeks. In the meantime here is a few pictures of the trip.

The Chill

2009-04-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

Last night I felt the “chill.”

I gave my music to God five years ago and he has hidden the chill from me ever since. There have been moments in these last five years when I wondered if I would ever feel it again.

I remember at the age of 10 sitting Indian style in front of the speaker playing my carpet piano while Keith Greens “The Prodigal Son” enchanted. I remember at the age of 15 lying on my waterbed with my Walkman blaring U2s “Where The Streets Have No Name,” mesmerized by its beautiful simplicity. And I remember driving home from the hospital after the birth of my son listening to Coldplay’s brilliant “Clocks ” – all of these moments where accompanied by the “chill.”

It would surprise me, tickling my skull and shivering down my spine. If you have experienced it, then you know. It’s the perfect moment when your sound, soul and spirit combine to create aural ecstasy. It’s a moment where God shows His face - and He is smiling. The world is beautiful, God is good and everything is in its right place. I feel it as a chill. This chill is not the only way I feel God, its just one of the ways he has revealed himself to me through music… Its also one of the reasons I fell in love with music.

I am one of the blessed humans that knows he is an artist. I am a musician, a singer and a songwriter. As Brennan Manning says,” it’s the story of my life but not the whole story.” I ache with the longing to create. I dream of being able to - for a moment - create an atmosphere in which “the chill” can visit. I think it’s one of the reasons I was created. The absence of the “chill” was agony. It was the death of a dream, the surrender of a “story.”

And in this surrender, I have learned the voice of God regardless of the chill. I have learned that he is in a song even when there is no chill. He is in a moment even when he is not felt. He is in my worship even when intimacy is intellectual.

I don’t know if that makes sense, but if you know me, you know I am about the presence of God. I am about the experience. I want to feel Him with me, around me and through me.

I have learned that the presence of God is here even when I cant feel it. Though I have been taught this since I was a child, I now know it from experience. His love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, glory, honor, goodness, majesty – the “chill”… Every aspect of God is present and I have access to Him in all of these areas not because I can feel it but because its true and because I know it.

I think this may be what the renewing of a mind feels like – at least for me.

That being said, it was wonderful to feel the chill again…

Write Now

2009-04-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

Write Now…

I am at the coffee shop; I have a latte and my Mac Book, which I understand is essential if you wish to be a “writer.” I have my headphones on and I have enough Indy music to write for a month straight.

Write now… I don’t know if I like this writing thing today.

I read somewhere that writing is just like anything else, you have to do it a lot before you could actually say “hey, I’m not horrible.” So I keep typing…

Write now! Now?

I think it’s in me, writing… and it wants out. When I read a good book or a blog, I think, “I want to do that!” Then I start writing…

The phone is ringing – thank God!

That was Shawn. He sure is having a great day… I need a break. Wonder what’s on Facebook? – “Carver is driving and drinking coffee.” That sounds nice. I wonder if he can see Mt Rainier right now?

I check my email – nothing.
MySpace has been dead lately. I check it anyway. Nothing.
I check my email again.
I check Virb and… my email.

“Ok, time to write.

Write now, right now. Write now!”

Hey that's funny. You can write the word “write” two ways and it still works.

Right now, write now… cool.

I should call Joel cause he would think that was clever and would wax eloquent and that would be fun.

I have to use spell check for the millionth time on the word “cause” as I keep putting the u before the a… crap millionth and one.

I want to get better at writing. I cant explain fully why. It’s not an unfulfilled childhood dream pushing me and I don’t think I have enough time or energy to be good enough to do it for a living…

But I think occasionally…

Once and awhile…

I have something I want to say…

Just not today.

Hunger, Hiddeness & A New Song

2009-04-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

Years ago, on a mission trip in South Africa, I led a worship service at a Christian school. One of the songs we sang was "Hungry." The chorus goes “We are hungry for more of You” (Jesus). At first the students thought this an odd expression. But when I explained that we as believers needed to have an almost physical hunger for His presence in our hearts, they responded by singing with a grasp of the word that astonished and humbled me. They understood hunger and had great respect for it. Their hunger stirred my hunger that night and the presence of God was sweet as we worshiped for hours.

I have often prayed for an increased hunger without fully grasping what I was asking for. Hunger is directly associated with need. Its only hunger if you have waited to eat. I believe its our understanding of our need that makes room for God to come and fill us. God loves our hunger and he loves filling us up and it’s our hunger that allows God to expand the parameters of our hearts that we might know Him more.

Lately, I have been desperate to know him more. God has hidden himself and this "hiddeness" has stirred me to greater hunger. I believe one of the reasons God has hidden himself from me is to increase my hunger. I also believe that anything hidden can be found - that God always responds to sincere hunger. Matt 5:6 says, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, they shall be filled." I am blessed if I hunger and thirst but there is also a promise of being filled as well, there is the promise that I will find...

I wrote this song last month, the first phrase runs through my head on a daily basis.

It doesn't have a title yet and I will continue to develop it...

Place your hand upon my head
Place your hand on my head
I want to feel you, like you're in the room

Fill your lungs and breath on me
Fill your lungs and breath on me
I want to feel you, like you're in the room, like your next to me

Cause there's a violent hunger in my bones
Cause I've seen you in this very room
Cause there's a lion prowling at my door
And I've determined to let Him in
Cause there's a flood gate that just let go
And its tearing all this shit down
Cause the fire burns and I want more
Cause I've seen you in this very room

If the Kingdom is for violent men, I bare my teeth and grin
And in my broken porcelain skin I'm furious to contend
If the Kingdom is for little children, I lay my head upon your breast
As the favored son of the King, I’ll shine glorious while I rest

Place your hand upon my head
Place your hand upon my head
I want to see you, like your in the room

The Tale Of Despereaux - The Re-telling

2009-04-08T11:15:00.000-07:00

Last night we watched “The Tale Of Despereaux.” Karen had just finished reading the story to Maddy and Ethan the night before so there was much excitement for this showing. Teeth were brushed and pajamas put on. We pulled out the blankets and pillows, turned off the lights, turned up the surround sound and cuddled on the couch.

Like many books adapted to screen, there was much missing. However, this movie went above and beyond - radically changing characters and storyline. So much so that when the movie was over Ethan said, “I don’t think whoever made this movie even read the book.”
Then he showed me his “book.” He had written it earlier in the day. After reading Ethan’s retelling I have to agree with him.

The Tale Of Despereaux - The Re-telling
By Ethan Clark

Once upon a time, there was a mouse who was born. His name was
Despereaux Tilling.

He was a little strange. He read fairy tales and Despereaux spoke to the Princess Pea.

Then, Despereaux was sent to the dungeon where the rats live.

He escaped the dungeon with the help of Gregory, the jailer.

Roscurro, the rat, was nasty. He tricked Miggery Sow, the servant girl, into taking the princess to the dungeon.

Despereaux went back into the dungeon to save Princess Pea.

Boticelli, another nasty rat who lived in the dungeon, tricked
Despereaux into the hiding place where the Princess Pea was.

Despereaux put his needle like sword up to Roscurro's heart and saved the Princess Pea.

/*The End.*/

You Would Think Id Have Learned This Earlier In Life

2009-04-02T11:47:00.000-07:00

But its come to my attention that people tend to believe what I tell them.

For instance, people believe me when I say “no, I don’t want the last piece of blueberry pie.” Or “I’m not very smart. Or “I’m not a great writer… “

Turns out that while I thought I was projecting my humility, I was actually missing out on Blueberry pie, intelligent conversation and mass readers… well, at least the first two…

There I go again...

"Daddy, I See A Ociton"

2009-03-31T17:09:00.000-07:00

Today, Eva –my two year old - and I went to the “city town.” On the drive in, I began to sing an old song. I hadn’t heard it in years. For some reason it popped into my head. As I sang, the lyrics captivated me.

“I love you Lord and I lift my voice
To worship You, oh my soul rejoice
Take joy my King in what You hear
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.”

I couldn’t stop singing the last two lines…

This morning I woke up feeling heavy. As soon as my eyes opened, I was thinking about all that had to be done and the needs of my family and the needs of the business, but mostly I thought about the language barrier between God and me.

Its not that He isn’t around, I can feel Him, but when He speaks, He isn’t speaking in a language I understand… and He started doing it almost a year ago.

Eva corrects my singing, “No daddy… B. I. N.E O.! and binno was his name-o.” So I change my melody and words and we sing “B.I.N.E.O. I’m all right replacing the G with an E…

We arrived at “city town” and while Eva pointed out all the red ocitons - stop signs - I began to think about the importance of listening even when I cant understand.

Eva says “Daddy, I aff a secret, lets go a mdonals” I smile. She is so beautiful; it makes me ache with the goodness. She would like to go to McDonalds with her Daddy and have it be our secret. What makes it even sweeter is she cant keep a secret…

I can feel God speaking to me; I just can’t make it out. And I know He is with me. I know it like I know Oreo's are better with milk or like I know BA really did like Murdock - he just pretended he didn’t. Its just one of those things I know.

But if you can’t understand God and you used to be fluent in “God,” you sure can get discombobulated. And so, I have learned in the last year that it’s very important to have good sources - friends, family, the bible, Godly teachers. And also, I have learned that you have to know what you believe and then live it regardless…

“Lets go eat,” I say to Eva after finishing my errands. We don’t stop at McDonald's but we do stop at Phat Burrito which is one of the best eats in “city town.” I tell Eva the name of the restaurant while we wait in line. I tell her again while we get soda. I share my quesadilla and as Eva eats hers she says “Daddy, what’s this?” And then “Fat bummito.” I smile. “That’s right hun, it’s a fat bummito.”

When God first started speaking to me in a new language, I spent months offended. Then months repenting, then months giving Him everything. None of this changed His mind, He still continues to be obstinate...

As we head home from "city town," I think out loud. "I would love it if You would speak to me so I can understand. I really miss our conversations." Then Eva says “Daddy, I see a ociton,” and I smile again.

When you love someone, you learn to speak their language.
Eva has her own language and I've become fluent.

This thought crosses my mind. “If God is speaking and you can’t understand Him, its time to learn a new language.”

"Lord Jesus," I sing.

“Take joy my King in what You hear.
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.”

Current Top Twenty - Songs

2009-03-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

Augustana – Dust
Bon Iver – Skinny Love
Rickey Skaggs & Bruce Hornsby – Mandolin Rain
Cinematic Orchestra – To Build A Home
Coldplay – Glass Of Water
Ed Harcourt – Good Friends Are Hard To Find
Feist – 1234
Fiona Apple – Not About Love
The Fire Theft - Backward Blues
John Mark McMillan – Carbon Ribs & Ten Thousand
Keane – Playing Along
MuteMath – Spotlight
Patrick Watson – Luscious Life
Phil Wickham – Singalong version of Beautiful
Pilot Speed - Into The West & Alright
Rachael Yamagata – Elephants
Radiohead – Reckoner
Ryan Adams – Goodnight Rose
Snow Patrol – The Lightning Strike:What If This Storm Ends…
U2 – The Moment Of Surreneder & Stand Up Comedy

"I Am"

2009-03-24T13:34:00.000-07:00

One of the names of God is “I Am” (Exodus 3:14). He is “I Am,” which means, He is the God of right now. Yesterday He was God and tomorrow He is God and its good to know this but today I really want to know Him as “I Am,” the God of right now.

I think that if I could know know Him as “I Am” I could have access to Him in any and every way I need Him... His peace, His grace, His love, His glory, His power... His wisdom - Yeah, I could use that right now.

The cool thing is, right now, at the moment I write this, He is “I Am.” Therefore right now, as I write this, I have access to wisdom... right?

Jesus, let me know you as "I Am"

Amen